27.4.06
Problematic men
I feel like pulling his hair... not mine!! When a man comes and talks to you about his pathetic problems, I thought I am supposed to listen and be supportive. I should refrain from giving advices or suggestions because they are not going to be appreciative of them... or they would want to prove themselves they are able to tackle it. So why are they complaining, obviously they need a listening ear, right? I listened... I tried to say something positive and kept it light-hearted... instead all I got was negative and offensive remarks. Why should I deserve them, you a****** Glyn! Yes, I am being optimistic but I don't see it as a sad thing, being a realist doesn't mean I have to be as pessimistic as you are - then why the hell are you telling me your problems?? Get support?? Or get someone to feel as miserable as you are. I don't think my life needs men like these...
26.4.06
What are your bad points??
I say, we know ourselves best... So we should be the ones understanding our own strengths and notice our own flaws! Am I right to say that?
But when we do hear it from someone else, it seems even more convincing... or at some point it hurts. Does it?? I thought I used be very sensitive to these, when all I wanted to hear was honest comments. Can you take it and accept them? I seem to be able to take it in better now. I reckon it's because I accept myself for what I am, I know my flaws and I want to work on them... and not just be upset and cry just because someone is disapproving or critical of me.
I also realise I tend to be very honest when I tell my friends how they are (or appear to me)... Too blunt, I wonder sometimes if they are offended. But I have also began to be more tactful as I think it has become important to recognize all people are different. Guess being too honest and blunt can be a flaw, isn't it?
But when we do hear it from someone else, it seems even more convincing... or at some point it hurts. Does it?? I thought I used be very sensitive to these, when all I wanted to hear was honest comments. Can you take it and accept them? I seem to be able to take it in better now. I reckon it's because I accept myself for what I am, I know my flaws and I want to work on them... and not just be upset and cry just because someone is disapproving or critical of me.
I also realise I tend to be very honest when I tell my friends how they are (or appear to me)... Too blunt, I wonder sometimes if they are offended. But I have also began to be more tactful as I think it has become important to recognize all people are different. Guess being too honest and blunt can be a flaw, isn't it?
21.4.06
The Art of Forgiving
I quoted this from about.com, and I find it an essential part of our life or at least it does have some meaning in mine!
"Forgiving is an essential element of successful relationships whether it is forgiving your date for being late, forgiving your husband for not remembering your birthday, forgiving your boss for not giving you the raise you deserve, or forgiving your mother for the name she chose for you at birth.
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.
It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss... Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.
Forgiving does not mean you will allow your spouse to continue to abuse you, or cheat on you, or make your life miserable. It means you look past the act and at the person. It means you forgive the personal weakness he or she is unwilling or unable to control.
Forgiving the actions of others helps to remove damaging anger and rage from within you."
How do you forget without forgiving?? Impossible. Below is another from www.coping.org.
"1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality.
8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared."
For the Christians and believers of God,
"Father God, I need your help and your insights. Today I have gained a better understanding of forgiving others and with your help, I fully forgive from my heart. Just as you have freely forgiven me, I forgive them. Father, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. I pray all of this in Jesus' precious name and by whom all forgiveness and healing was made possible. Thank you for loving me in ways I'll never comprehend. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Another extract from Martin Luther King's Strength to Love (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981)
"Probably no admonition of Jesus has been more difficult to follow than the command to love our enemies…Far from being the pious injunction of a Utopian dreamer, the command to love one’s enemy is an absolute necessity for our survival. Love even for our enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of our world…
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power."
"Forgiving is an essential element of successful relationships whether it is forgiving your date for being late, forgiving your husband for not remembering your birthday, forgiving your boss for not giving you the raise you deserve, or forgiving your mother for the name she chose for you at birth.
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.
It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss... Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.
Forgiving does not mean you will allow your spouse to continue to abuse you, or cheat on you, or make your life miserable. It means you look past the act and at the person. It means you forgive the personal weakness he or she is unwilling or unable to control.
Forgiving the actions of others helps to remove damaging anger and rage from within you."
How do you forget without forgiving?? Impossible. Below is another from www.coping.org.
"1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality.
8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared."
For the Christians and believers of God,
"Father God, I need your help and your insights. Today I have gained a better understanding of forgiving others and with your help, I fully forgive from my heart. Just as you have freely forgiven me, I forgive them. Father, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. I pray all of this in Jesus' precious name and by whom all forgiveness and healing was made possible. Thank you for loving me in ways I'll never comprehend. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Another extract from Martin Luther King's Strength to Love (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981)
"Probably no admonition of Jesus has been more difficult to follow than the command to love our enemies…Far from being the pious injunction of a Utopian dreamer, the command to love one’s enemy is an absolute necessity for our survival. Love even for our enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of our world…
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power."
20.4.06
Just a little more
It takes very little to hate, to be upset, to be offended, to be angry...
but it takes just a little more to forgive, to compromise, to accept and to be happy...
It takes very little to be evil, to be cruel, to be mean, to be nasty...
but it takes just a little more to be nice, to be kind, to be generous, to be magnanimous...
As one of Heraclitus Enigma says,
"It is disease that makes health pleasant,
hunger that makes fullness good,
weariness that makes rest sweet"
Failures make us enjoy success more,
setbacks make us wiser and stronger,
negative feelings make us appreciate positive ones,
Bitterness makes sweetness more intense.
I believe everything happened for a reason, and I want to never stop learning...
but it takes just a little more to forgive, to compromise, to accept and to be happy...
It takes very little to be evil, to be cruel, to be mean, to be nasty...
but it takes just a little more to be nice, to be kind, to be generous, to be magnanimous...
As one of Heraclitus Enigma says,
"It is disease that makes health pleasant,
hunger that makes fullness good,
weariness that makes rest sweet"
Failures make us enjoy success more,
setbacks make us wiser and stronger,
negative feelings make us appreciate positive ones,
Bitterness makes sweetness more intense.
I believe everything happened for a reason, and I want to never stop learning...
19.4.06
Live it up your dream
Looking at those people whom are successful with their life, leading the kind of life exactly they want it to be... We can probably imagine the hard work they have put in, some sacrifices in life they have done, etc...
There was an online chat going on with Ian Wright earlier on, he's a globetrekker. He has been hosting travel show and been travelling for 7 years, what a life!! Most of us would have chosen a job that coincides with our interest and pays us good money, but how many of us can do that I wonder. I was in the chatroom, enjoying the Q&A going on... In fact, I want to be like him, not a globetrekker but to be successful and be enjoying the job.
I am still waiting for a response. That little glimpse of hope hasn't disappeared... it might be diminishing as the days go by, but it will never die. My thinning patience is getting me down a little, or perhaps getting a little serious as I am too focused on my job hunt. I don't seem to have any tolerance for my friend whom has been telling me juicy gossip about this man or another, or even about helping her to make up her mind about her "further studies decision". I am just not interested now. I need to let go a little...
I have given up a few other job opportunities just so because I want to be able to pursue my dream job... and not be a contract-breaker, to be doing another job just for the sake of doing something.
I seem to be so self-absorbed. I need to open that little door and walk out into the garden. Imagine that spring is here, look at the flowers in blossom again, smile and dance in the open space... swing my arms and go in circles...
There was an online chat going on with Ian Wright earlier on, he's a globetrekker. He has been hosting travel show and been travelling for 7 years, what a life!! Most of us would have chosen a job that coincides with our interest and pays us good money, but how many of us can do that I wonder. I was in the chatroom, enjoying the Q&A going on... In fact, I want to be like him, not a globetrekker but to be successful and be enjoying the job.
I am still waiting for a response. That little glimpse of hope hasn't disappeared... it might be diminishing as the days go by, but it will never die. My thinning patience is getting me down a little, or perhaps getting a little serious as I am too focused on my job hunt. I don't seem to have any tolerance for my friend whom has been telling me juicy gossip about this man or another, or even about helping her to make up her mind about her "further studies decision". I am just not interested now. I need to let go a little...
I have given up a few other job opportunities just so because I want to be able to pursue my dream job... and not be a contract-breaker, to be doing another job just for the sake of doing something.
I seem to be so self-absorbed. I need to open that little door and walk out into the garden. Imagine that spring is here, look at the flowers in blossom again, smile and dance in the open space... swing my arms and go in circles...
17.4.06
2am, one night in April, Singapore
I stood by the living room window in the middle of the night (2am), I could smell the freshness of the green... Those pots of plants my dad keeps along the corridor gave me such a refreshing feeling at this hour. It made me missed the usual rain that sometimes comes at night. I could vividly recall one of the nights, it rained very heavily accompanied by thunder and lightnings. Those thunder never fails to make me shuddered, however I begin to miss them now. I want to smell the essence of the rain, I want that splattering sound to ease me into my sleep...
16.4.06
1 last piece
I'm a piece of Oreo cookie, the very last one. What can you imagine doing to me... I have myself thinking big - I like an Oreo cheesecake, a mouth-watering Oreo milkshake, or even a cold treat of cookie and cream ice-cream... But one last piece isn't sufficient for a big task, isn't it? Why don't I just do the normal way, twist it, lick it and dunk it!! Dip into the milk and munch it all up... I am just two pieces of chocolate biscuit sandwiched with cream, but I can be a cookie with a dream and cream, why not!
15.4.06
Can I not dream tonight, can I not tear tonight...
Just finished watching THE RING 0 on television, yes, that japanese horror film that a lot of people dread to keep their eyes open throughout. I didn't think I watched this episode, however it didn't seem as scary as "1" I think... probably due to the dark scenes and lesser sound effects. Some people are fearful, some think horror films are a bore. I think horror films do take up a lot of creativity to make the audience become frightened, don't you think? I think of all films as artistic as long as they are meant to keep us glued to the screen - just my thoughts...
I am getting restless, not sure why. Is it the letter I wrote earlier, is it the text messages I have been receiving from this particular person, or is it just the woman's hormones at work... I wish I know. It's 2am now. My mind is like the chalkboard just wiped clean but still left with the chalks' trail... figuring what was written on the board. Can I stop myself from thinking tonight, can I not dream tonight... Can I just lay on my lovely soft feather pillow and slept till the morning sun shines into my room?
I'm not sad, but like a command tears come easy... One moment I can be happily doing something, the next I just feel a little down. I'm a little tired from the waiting, the job hunting, and finding that perfect job. I'm getting impatient but I need patience. Like I read on the papers, job hunting is never an easy task, its a 24/7 job. Yes, now I understand. I also understand I need a good sleep now!
I am getting restless, not sure why. Is it the letter I wrote earlier, is it the text messages I have been receiving from this particular person, or is it just the woman's hormones at work... I wish I know. It's 2am now. My mind is like the chalkboard just wiped clean but still left with the chalks' trail... figuring what was written on the board. Can I stop myself from thinking tonight, can I not dream tonight... Can I just lay on my lovely soft feather pillow and slept till the morning sun shines into my room?
I'm not sad, but like a command tears come easy... One moment I can be happily doing something, the next I just feel a little down. I'm a little tired from the waiting, the job hunting, and finding that perfect job. I'm getting impatient but I need patience. Like I read on the papers, job hunting is never an easy task, its a 24/7 job. Yes, now I understand. I also understand I need a good sleep now!
14.4.06
Write it out
I was writing a letter earlier, supposedly to be nice and composed... However as I got started, it all just began to change... The tone of it turned to anger and agitation. It got out of control and I couldn't help but kept writing as my overwhelmed state of mind urged me to do so... I love writing and very often it has been a way for expressing my feelings.
Sometimes I really wonder the magic of being able to point them out in your writings. As I was reading John Gray's original book "Mars & Venus - A match made in heaven?", it mentioned writing feeling letter does help in releasing those negative feelings. Oh yea, in case you're wondering there's a Times Book Sale now going on, oh,oh, and the John Little Sale too.
I am hesitating to post it now, but I never or hardly ever trashed my letters... So I guess it has to go.
Sometimes I really wonder the magic of being able to point them out in your writings. As I was reading John Gray's original book "Mars & Venus - A match made in heaven?", it mentioned writing feeling letter does help in releasing those negative feelings. Oh yea, in case you're wondering there's a Times Book Sale now going on, oh,oh, and the John Little Sale too.
I am hesitating to post it now, but I never or hardly ever trashed my letters... So I guess it has to go.
13.4.06
Imperfection is LIFE
Proud to say by now I have remembered "Funkel funkel kleiner Stern" the first half of the song... second part is a bit more tricky.
A lot of things have happened over the last month since I'm back... Silly things, serious things, risky choices and many aspects of my life are still constantly changing. Friendship, kinship, love, dream, ambition, life and even money are not what they used to be, I don't know if I have another perspective or that I have just rearranged my priorities.
I think of my little sister with last few bucks in her bank account, suddenly I felt like doing more for her... sparing her a little pocket money when I start working. I never seem to realise behind her talkative appearance everyday, she might be struggling with her limited funds. A lot of people have asked me why do I not want to further my studies... I wish I can say an upfront answer that I can't afford to do so.
I look at my dad every single day, the more I realise I do want to make my life a meaningful one... I want to enjoy my old days with family and friends, not struggling with "Do I have enough for my next 5 years..." questions. I watch my mum's weary face when she returns from work, I wish one day she just doesn't have to do it anymore... and well yes, cut down her mahjong habits as well.
Enough rumbling... Life is not perfect, is it! I am still young and should make the most out of my life :)))))
A lot of things have happened over the last month since I'm back... Silly things, serious things, risky choices and many aspects of my life are still constantly changing. Friendship, kinship, love, dream, ambition, life and even money are not what they used to be, I don't know if I have another perspective or that I have just rearranged my priorities.
I think of my little sister with last few bucks in her bank account, suddenly I felt like doing more for her... sparing her a little pocket money when I start working. I never seem to realise behind her talkative appearance everyday, she might be struggling with her limited funds. A lot of people have asked me why do I not want to further my studies... I wish I can say an upfront answer that I can't afford to do so.
I look at my dad every single day, the more I realise I do want to make my life a meaningful one... I want to enjoy my old days with family and friends, not struggling with "Do I have enough for my next 5 years..." questions. I watch my mum's weary face when she returns from work, I wish one day she just doesn't have to do it anymore... and well yes, cut down her mahjong habits as well.
Enough rumbling... Life is not perfect, is it! I am still young and should make the most out of my life :)))))
8.4.06
Another chain...
A-Z meme (courtesy of Michael):
Accent = Rojak of proper English, singlish, mandarin (sometimes hokkien,malay,german)
Booze = Red wine or beer (kilkenny, Beck's green lemon)
Chore I hate = Dish-washing
Dog or cat = Either
Essential Electronics = None, maybe digital camera
Favorite Perfume/Cologne = No preference, but currently DNKY Apple (after Paul Smith)
Gold or Silver = White gold?
Home = Singapore by birth (not sure where in future)
Insomnia = Fortunately never had the problem
Job Title = Still awaiting for dream job confirmation!
Kids = Tommy (if he's real, he's 1.5 years old)
Living Arrangement = 3-room HDB
Most Admired Trait = Courage
Number of Sexual Partners = Counting... (don't worry, under good control)
Overnight Hospital Stays = None so far, perhaps when I was borned
Phobia = Boredom
Quote = Life is not full of disappointments but of those whom created it (just thought of it)
Religion = Myself
Siblings = 2 sisters
Time I usually wake up = Usually 8 hours later
Unusual Talent = Able to predict my emotional state (I read tarots)
Vegetable I refuse to eat = Pea
Worst Habit = Being blunt
X-Rays = Once for teeth, a couple of times for chest
Yummy Foods I Make = Baked cookies and cakes
Zodiac Sign = Libra
Twinkle twinkle little star
I really really really really really really really x 1000000000000000... want to get my dream job ;)
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,
Ach wie bist du mir so fern,
Wunderschön und unbekannt,
Wie ein strahlend Diamant,
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,
Ach wie bist du mir so fern.
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,
Ach was haben wir dich gern,
Strahlend schön am Himmelszelt,
Erleuchtest hell die ganze Welt,
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern
Ach was haben wir dich gern.
Ach wie bist du mir so fern,
Wunderschön und unbekannt,
Wie ein strahlend Diamant,
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,
Ach wie bist du mir so fern.
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern,
Ach was haben wir dich gern,
Strahlend schön am Himmelszelt,
Erleuchtest hell die ganze Welt,
Funkel, funkel, kleiner Stern
Ach was haben wir dich gern.
7.4.06
Getting a job, getting a life
Talking about interviews, in 3 hours I'm going to another one. The third one since I am back in Singapore, I can't really say they are my dream jobs or what I would love to do for my next couple of years. In fact I have been wanting a career change, not totally out of design but still linked to creativity. I can't live without a job that is not related to arts, design and the fine things in life, e.g. food, wine and travel. LOL.
The first interview was a flop, something I am totally not interested in. I didn't realise till at the interview, I was told of the job scope and the whole interview sucked. The second was a good start, not a full time job but instead just freelance work. It never harms to have some extra bucks, does it! Ok, the third one which is coming up later, not going to reveal much for now...
I am still pinning high hope for my dream job, which I wouldn't get a reply till a week or so later... "be patient be patient don't lose hope keep positive"
The first interview was a flop, something I am totally not interested in. I didn't realise till at the interview, I was told of the job scope and the whole interview sucked. The second was a good start, not a full time job but instead just freelance work. It never harms to have some extra bucks, does it! Ok, the third one which is coming up later, not going to reveal much for now...
I am still pinning high hope for my dream job, which I wouldn't get a reply till a week or so later... "be patient be patient don't lose hope keep positive"
6.4.06
Feeling extremes
Have you felt on some days nothing was bothering you, you could think clearly and feel at peace with yourself?? Another day, you just had so much anxiety that you were so restless, nothing made you feel better, nothing worked. Normal?? Are they mood swings??
How do people keep themselves positive all the time...
I've been reading, not about being happy or keeping happy... but a lot on psychology related. How to open up our mind, let us be creative and drop our assumptions. This does not only apply to just artistic people, in fact it gives so many insights about life as well. I can't seem to remember things I've read however I make it a point to understand the philosophy behind Heraclitus's epigrams (a Greek philosopher). Very interesting!!
Moving back to the point, I have been feeling so uneasy for some time, but much better at this time when I'm blogging. Else I won't even be writing. I have been thinking... like always, such a thinker... but also feeling... In another way I realised I feel a lot more than I think compared to the past. And I also realised that I now prefer to go with the flow rather than having the cards laid on the table. I like it a little more random I guess, a little unpredictable! Just as life is!
How do people keep themselves positive all the time...
I've been reading, not about being happy or keeping happy... but a lot on psychology related. How to open up our mind, let us be creative and drop our assumptions. This does not only apply to just artistic people, in fact it gives so many insights about life as well. I can't seem to remember things I've read however I make it a point to understand the philosophy behind Heraclitus's epigrams (a Greek philosopher). Very interesting!!
Moving back to the point, I have been feeling so uneasy for some time, but much better at this time when I'm blogging. Else I won't even be writing. I have been thinking... like always, such a thinker... but also feeling... In another way I realised I feel a lot more than I think compared to the past. And I also realised that I now prefer to go with the flow rather than having the cards laid on the table. I like it a little more random I guess, a little unpredictable! Just as life is!
3.4.06
Never remember Singapore as so rainy...
What is happening??? It has been raining far too much since I returned and I can't believe more than half the time the sky has been pouring like waterfall. Isn't April supposed to be hot and sunny??? Isn't Singapore supposed to be summer all year long??? Is it global warming?? Or is it just lousy weather? Or perhaps it is expressing my deep sense of loss that I haven't been aware of...
it feels like winter.. but why is it not snowing.. it feels like winter.. but why is it not snowing...
1.4.06
Dream job
When you call it a dream job, will you ever get it I wonder... or is it as its term, only a dream??
I chanced upon this job, and instantly I felt I wanted to go for it. It has a lot to relate to my interest, my aspiration and probably can take me somewhere further (I mean professionally). I have been spending days and hours to do up the application, it doesn't judge by paper qualification like all Singaporean companies always do... so I hope it will be a fair chance for everyone. It is going to be a tough competition, whether I will be shortlisted or not, I am glad I am giving it my best shot. So fingers crossed...
If it doesn't come, I know there is something else planned down the road for me;)
I chanced upon this job, and instantly I felt I wanted to go for it. It has a lot to relate to my interest, my aspiration and probably can take me somewhere further (I mean professionally). I have been spending days and hours to do up the application, it doesn't judge by paper qualification like all Singaporean companies always do... so I hope it will be a fair chance for everyone. It is going to be a tough competition, whether I will be shortlisted or not, I am glad I am giving it my best shot. So fingers crossed...
If it doesn't come, I know there is something else planned down the road for me;)
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