Goodbye 2003

Writing this, I can't visualise if I will still spend the next christmas in Singapore. Today, so unlike the past years I have spent my new year eve, it is going to be something quiet. Yet with my closest friends whom have been there with me for my past 5 years, we are doing it the "potluck" style at one of my mate's bf apartment.

I am not going to name out the "thank you" to all of you, everyone ought to receive a hug for coming into my life. Good or bad. I've survived them. I live in the hope of 2004 is, will, must and have to lead me to my dream. I want to live in Britain, yes. For people whom do not have an idea of my intention, I am going not because of anyone, not because I dislike Singapore, not because I am unhappy here.

If you like me to name out the reasons, I can gladly list out quite a number:
1. Be independent, physically and emotionally.
22 years, my parents and sisters are there for me, every phase of my life is surrounded with friends and people whom liked me in a way. Not sure if I should say I want to learn things the hard way! But I do want to leave these good things behind (at least for a while) to truely explore my capabilities and my true self.
2. No burden
By next year, my dad has reached retirement age. With that, he should be able to fund himself and my family. I'm leaving my current job, I have ended whatever relationship I have had with a male species.
3. Travelling
Unbelievably, I only travelled out of Singapore at age of 21. To date, 3 trips so far, I discovered my love for travelling!! By living in Britain, I should be able to go around Europe with so much more ease.

I guess those are enough to push me going, not too sure if they are to you.

Last day of 2003, something surprising happened. On my train journey, I bumped into my teacher who taught me 9 years ago. He was my P.E.(Physical Education that is) teacher. Mr Ow. I still remember his full name, too impolite to write it here. Anyway the important thing is that he could actually recall my name. How many students have he taught over his years of teaching!! His son was only 4 then. I didn't know why but I always had a chance to chat with him before the lesson started. Today, I met him and his son (now 13), oh my god, I can't deny I have grown 9 years older!! Do I still look the same as I was at 13!! He sat opposite me in the busy train, we briefly talked. He wished me well (for my future) before he alighted, and I knew I will not disappoint anyone ;)

I've been trying to make my family understand I'm going away for my own good. Difficult. Headache. Heartache. They brought me up, they expected me to stay there till I am married off. I'm not abandoning them, I will be back and a better person I believe. The only thing they told me is "Don't come back, if you leave." Even my sister said to me in a sarcastic way, "You can go, if you leave your money here." My lil sister, however, has taken it not as hard as them, perhaps she has been influenced too much by me! Good thing though! She joked with me about how I will be surviving over there. This is the kind of support I need.

I am not giving up, I have to gain their trust and support!

Lastly, on the last day of a very difficult year, I want to wish all of you a

Happy New Year
May it be more prosperous
May it be more smooth-sailing
May it bring you happiness in life!!!

With love,
I'm signing off 2003.

Today, with the other part of the world

With condolence, we bid farewell to the famous Hong Kong singer-actress, Anita Mui. She has left all of us early this morning after months being subjected to physical torment by a monster. The monster - cancer. At the age of 40, it is a loss for all of us known to her popularity.

I'm not an Anita Mui fan. I've heard of her, watched her movies, saw her sang on tv. She has been professional and loved by many others. It is so cruel to take her away suddenly. She is just like one of us, a normal being.

If life is so short, if all of us are only meant to live 40 years, would life now make a difference to all of you?? I think we shall live our dreams, and be happy. It's all too short to worry...

London eye, I'm eyeing

It came to me last night... that I have to go. Go somewhere faraway. Go somewhere to live a new life. Go somewhere to be independent.

I began to miss a lot of things and a lot of people. It is a big decision I'm going to make, and somehow it feels right! No matter how much I couldn't let go of my past, it will not stop me from leaving. No one will. I wish that someone will ask me to stay, someone will tell me how important I have been in their life. To know that I was being appreciated and treasured will be more valuable than anything I can buy.

And it will be some months before I'm stepping into another world. I hold the hopes with fear, trembling thoughts of surviving out there without my closer friends, without my family. It will certainly be a tough course, but I've chosen it.

Laugh at me!

It's laughable you created a wish list and you end up buying the stuffs for yourself. Or at least now I am doing it. Mmmm, or maybe it is supposed to work this way!!!

I've gotten another book, Man & wife, one which I had been searching high and low in the libraries. They are forever reserved by seemingly thousands of people whom didn't want to buy the book. Oh Tony Parson, you better be thankful I am not one of those now ;)

*Jingle~ bells*

I want a mushy christmas eve!!!

Joy, thank you for bringing us to the christmas house party. I haven't been to one yet! Surprisingly I'm being invited to two this year. For all good things, one is enough. I haven't had so much fun for a bit, it really made me laughed so hard last night. Food was awesome, goshh... mashed potato, stewed beef, turkey, soya chicken, ham, fried prawn rice, mee siam, did they already make you hungry!!! More to come... Sago, brownie and ice-cream for dessert!! Games were entertaining, now I bet I can remember names & faces better, ah, I already do :)

Gift exchange. Or well its a lucky number pick system! GUESS WHAT I GOT!!! It could have been my intuition I chose the number 10. I got a potato cup & saucer, look almost like real potato skin. I was thrilled, ah well, its just potato.

Now I'm eagerly waiting for end of the month when I'll have another belated exchange among the fabulous 4.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!!!

Ya know, after watching LOTR, I've a kind of feeling I want to name my future son Sam, or well at least something similiar ;)

LOTR fabulous 4

The Lord of The Rings - The Return of The King

My ratings: * * * *
My fav hobbit: Sam
My fav warrior: Aragon
My fav scene: Ghost warriors came on the battle
My inspiration: Don't abandon love -- Arwen
My aspiration: Write my life novel -- Frodo
My thought on the show: Brilliant, but I didn't wish to see Frodo leaving

In 2001, The Fellowship of The Ring; in 2002, The Twin Towers; finally now, The Return of The King.

To be frank, I didn't repeat the previous episodes in recent months. Thanks to my good memory that I am able to continue off the story when the show started!! It didn't ring much in details, however I remember the first as truely intriguing. It left you hanging in suspense and yearning for more. The second was very nicely packaged with comical scenes amid of all the fighting. Don't you agree, all I can recall was battles!!! Elephants, trees, etc... And the final episode, the truth shall be revealed, the good triumphs over the evil as usual.

The Return of The King is so much more of everything else. Friendship, love, kinship, greediness, loyalty, betrayal... I can't say I don't love it!!! The 4 hobbits reminded me of our very own Fabulous 4, a term John named me & my good 3 friends. Four absolutely charming characters with vast differences in personalities. And for Legolas' fans, take a bucket to drool at the few but nicely portrayed shots of him. Well, I'm going to admit I'm an Aragon fan!

Randomness VII

I'm not going to be a lesbian, no way...

Seems like everything between me and a man is always going wrong. Are you forcing me to turn homosexual!!?? I'm counting how many disappointments I had in the past and it is still increasing. Men, suddenly, has became insignificant at this point in my life. Even a guy friend couldn't keep his promise for a scheduled dinner, what is the world turning into with all these men lacking time management skills?? The only reason for them is work. If work is entirely the reason to live for, life is a labour. Great, I'm giving up, it does seem like I hit it off much better with women anyway. Ha ha.

I had another free movie last night. Lord of The Rings - The Return of The King. Oh my, I haven't had the time to tell you right now about it, things I like about. Soon, soon, I promise. It does seem like this year is a great year for films. I've gone to the International film festival and french film festival. Darn, I missed the german's because it was only like a few days thing that arrived late on notice. Besides paying for all the films, I did get quite a number of free ones. To name those I can recall:

Italian job; Secretary; Wishing Stairs; Down with Love; Love Actually; The Butterfly; Lord of The Rings - The Return of the King.

Lucky, am I not?

And yes, I'm now in the mood for books. My hands are itching to buy some good reads, ah, been a long time! I hate the library because the popular titles are forever on loan. Just got one on my wish list actually, The Between Boyfriends Book! I'm going to hunt for more till the end of the month ;)

Stay away, i mean forever

Have you ever feel like shutting away from some people in your life? Probably they were your enemies or the people you once so loved?? And you couldn't stop loving except restraining from feeling that way???

I witnessed my parents, one shouting at the other. I never once did see them hugging or holding hands. I wonder if they are shy in front of us and others, or simply find it impossible to express their love. More importantly, do they love each other?

Sometimes I find myself having the same problem, is that hereditary?? I'm fine really, writing and expressing myself on paper. But when it comes to saying it, I can't do it. Maybe deep inside me, there is this fear. I want someone to love me as much as I do before I finally open the door to the world of eloquent passion. It will be dramatic.

Certain people have been revolving around my life, they are very important people whom caused great changes in me; to the extent, sometimes I am pondering about my real self. However, it has became increasingly difficult to handle my emotions, my words are ruled by them and it will hurt. Hurt you, I mean. For some reasons, I couldn't express love anymore with nice words but the opposite. I want these people to stay away from me, forever.

它回来了

In a split second, I started to scribble in chinese again.

6 years since I really practised the subject, with a few rare occasions of my random essay writing over the period. Lying on the bed last night, it all suddenly came to me that I was able to vividly describe those encounters close to my heart in chinese words again. In the train this morning, I began to put them on paper, it has however became difficult. I felt crippled with the language. It has been in my head all along, yet for that moment it turned foreign. I was struggling with some characters which has slipped off my mind totally.

For once, I try to recall how long I have lost contact with it. I haven't done any serious novel reading for long time. I miss it. I was once so proud of my chinese essay writing skills which had received my teachers' compliments. Now its coming back to me. I shall hold my pen again ;)

p.s: 它回来了 means "its coming back" in chinese.

Merci

Thank you BS for reminding me all over again about AMELIE, I'll put the dvd to good keeping. Heh, even though its fake, kekeke...

Oscar the grouch, not me

I'm supposed to go on a strict diet since I returned from Thailand. I had too much sumptuous meals over there. First night, steamboat; second night and third, seafood... I was so thrilled the day I met up with my mates, I didn't have to go through it again. I could go back to my normal eating habits. Even if its skipping dinner.

Easy to say eh. I'm now experiencing the difficulties of skipping a meal. I looked at my mum's home cooked meal, a pity to go wasted. I wanted to skip lunch, yet my breakfast has long been digested and converted to those grumbling noises in my stomach. Life is supposed to eat and live to the fullest, isn't it!!!

Looks like the best I can do, is to eat the proper stuffs and make sure I burn those calories!!!

The brit new teeth trick

I took a bottle of rum refresher from the company's fridge. Barcardi breezer. Tropical peach. All chilled and ready, I'm all thirsty for it; except for one thing, I can't open it without an opener. So I went searching into my next door company.

Its lucky I bumped into Ben, someone I worked with. I didn't realise these british boys have some old school trick. He could open the bottle with his teeth, my, I want to learn that!

The new me

ADMINISTRATOR --- Submissive Extrovert Concrete Thinker

Like just 4% of the population you are an ADMINISTRATOR (SECT)--detail-oriented and organized. You're an extrovert, but you lack the over-aggressive tendencies of obnoxious "go-getters." Very nice. However, you probably like getting up in other people's business--living through them a little... dude, sometimes you just gotta let it ride. Don't be such a busy-body.

Anyway , you're an excellent manager, of both yourself and other people. That's because you prefer thinking concretely rather than creatively, and you'd rather follow what your mind tells you than your heart--people respect this, but it can make them mad when their appeals to love and kindness fall on deaf, deaf ears. Try to have a heart sometimes.

TheSpark's Personality Test

Back alive and limping

I'm back, I'm back, I'm back finally!!!!

I can't wait to share everything with you guys... felt so itching to get into an internet cafe and do some writing when I was there. But really, I got no spare time. Or really some spare money!! I came home with 10 bahts, which is singapore 43 cents. Oh my, I never expected a busier trip than this. I went there with no plans, but yet there are so much things I have done. I've taken some short videos (unfortunately I have no where to upload to show you guys) but there's lot of digital photos to compensate. Give me some time eh!

I'm back 6 hours ago. Still awake at 3am to write my blog, some people will think I'm crazy or .... (fill that up yourself)!! God, I want to write, he he. Anyway, I shall update all the other details soon. Just a small note to inform you guys, YES I'm home!

Thank you guys whom have been coming back.

a little bit of love,
trixy

Bangkok hot hot hot

Hello peeps. I'm up with new updates. Yeah, it's going to be long, make sure you're ready! I'll try not to bore you with too much details. Enjoy.

08/12/03 Bangkok Adventure 13/12/03

18 of us went Bangkok together. Personally, I'm not a group person really, it gets tedious having to wait for each other and doing group check in. My only kin are two cousins, M, P and uncle (M's dad), I've mentioned M and P before I guess. The rest of them are my uncles' friends, a whole bunch of old citizens.

Initially I felt as if I was travelling with a group of senior citizens, they are my parents' age or older. Somehow, it got easier as things went along. In fact, not as bad as it seemed. We had free food (my uncle paid) and group transportation with them, so... whatcha think!! There was this pair of old couple, comical pair and I really think they are funny. The only one thing I wasn't so comfortable with, is that we weren't allowed to explore alone. These nice old aunties and uncles were too protective of us - the young kids. Hey, but read on...

Day one: I arrived Bangkok in the afternoon. Bangkok is as hot as singapore, 23-32 degrees. However, its dry heat, low humidity and not sweaty. My first hotel stay seems exciting, oh well, first time in everything is, isn't it? I came with no research, no plan, no idea of what I was going to do over the next 4 days.

Day two: 9th December was a holiday in Bangkok. Strange, there was assumingly lesser traffic jam on a public holiday. The traffic was hectic. Every second you are on the road, you are in danger. The cars wouldn't look out for you, they wouldn't stop. Each road crossing was a life gamble!

The original floating market, something I heard of and didn't want to miss. Make sure you pop there if you make a trip to thailand. Its a cultural shock for people whom only live in cities with high-rise buildings. On the near 2 hours journey there, I witnessed lot of rural lifestyle and people selling off their harvest/stocks or whatever they produced by the roadside. The air constantly polluted by the passing vehicles, it is hard life. If you live in a city and considered yourself poor, could you imagine them living each day trying to earn some cash to keep life going... If you grumble too much about life, or do extravagant shopping, maybe you should think twice about that.

I couldn't possibly missed the national treasures of thailand, can I? Elephants... cleverly trained elephants, they could kick soccer better than some humans. Oh yes, and crocodiles' show, which I didn't find it fascinating anymore.

Day three: As the main purpose of the trip is to visit temples for praying, thanksgiving and donation, we had another long journey out of town to 3 different temples. I have been longing to see monks. Ya know, those with orange/yellow robes!! I've seen too much on tv. It was a new experience. I'm not a very religious person myself, yet it has been a good trip to be respectful and do some confessions.

Day four: I ventured out alone. Everyone else had long set off for another long distance travelling to temples out of town. Yes, I'm alone in bangkok! It seemed like they were pretty worried about me, afterall I couldn't speak thai, and it was an unsafe place for a gal to go around they reckoned. I'm 22 already, maybe they should trust me - I can take care of myself.

I ate my buffet breakfast alone before I stepped into the already warmed up Bangkok streets. I had to walk through this small lane before reaching the main road, which I hate it. I wandered around those unfamiliar places (ahh, didn't I say I'm curious about anything new). I discovered a shopping paradise, I was on my way to meet to two friends whom came to bangkok a day after me. So I made a quick browse at the places and brought my friends back. A big mistake, it costed a big hole in the pocket. I spend over a thousand bahts in there, well, if you convert to singapore dollars, it isn't that much really!!

Later we continued the sin in another shopping centre which I failed to cover it yesterday. I found a beads-sewed-on-denim hangbag I really fancy, it was such a task to bargain. But you have no choice, they marked up the prices too much. Yes, and a pair of heels. These things which I had been hunting for back in Singapore! God, shopping is a sin.

Darn, I missed the thai massage because I was nearly crippled by the shopping. Limping.

Day five: Finally! Finally. Finally. I swam in the hotel swimming pool, it was so much smaller than it seemed from a photo. We had 12 laps, but really short laps. I led my cousins out to Pratunam Market (which I shopped for a bit yesterday) since it was our last few hours before our coach arrived. Dang!!! Guess what?? My bikini hunting had finally came to an end, I spotted a black&white-floral-pineapple one. And it costs merely 10 singapore dollars!!! Woo.. I'm done with shopping.

By the way I also got a pair of thaiboxing shorts, believe me, they look incredible. Yes, I'm ready to go home, please.

p/s: For peeps whom are keen in the photos I've taken, they should be ready in less than 24 hours under my photo albums.

Thee Mr. Right

I attended my colleague's wedding on Saturday. A traditional Chinese dinner. Don't think of it as a pay-for-what-you-eat thing!!! For guys whom don't really understand the meaning and purpose of wedding dinners.

It was a lovely ceremony. I worked with V, the groom for some months. I didn't know him very well, but we seem to get along fine. He's a fine young chap, friendly and easy to work with. It was a surprise when he announced he was getting married. I was thinking,"Oh come on, how young are you!" But hey, he's 27 and doesn't look like it at all. It's a good age for blokes I reckon, a few years more for ideal couple world before starting to make little babies.

The dinner was held in the Grand ballroom of Grand Hyatt hotel. The atmosphere amazed me, the guests were proper people (people with reputation or somewhat), the decor classy. The groom was all dressed up, handsome one. He didn't seem nervous at all. I was waiting to take a peep at the bride. Their wedding photos shows them as a heavenly pair!!!

There were a lot of nice moments. We had a table for our company, everyone was stunning. And finally the ravishing bride came into the scene. With an Indian mixed Chinese percentage, she was alluring. Seriously, I couldn't find a more beautiful person that night... captivating smile... angelic pair of eyes...

Throughout the 8-course dinner, videos of them were continuously played. Blessing from friends, their eyes for each other, the wedding tea ceremony, and so much more... At one point, I was entirely moved. I wanted to cry, tears of happiness. They are so in love, and that power of love has touched me. For a second, I was wondering if ever I have that day when I will be feeling the same way!

~The magic of love, I hope it touches everyone at some point in his or her life~

1st sign of Love

~~~~~ A new lease of life ~~ plus a little sign of <3>

I was in the train, sitting on a corner seat. A little toddler, a little boy. He has marble-like eyes and such delicate features on his tiny round face. His mum held his hand, his other hand holding on to a pole right besides me... I've noticed him. Awww... I wish I can offer him sitting on my lap...

Out of a sudden, he touched my hand gently. He was too adorable to resist, I didn't pull my hand away. I held his little fingers, smiling at him. I could see his eyes staring straight at me, he wanted to speak to me. His mum pulled his hand away, feeling a bit embarrassed.

He tried to hold my hand a few more times... he's so so so cute!!!

Scrappin' it

I've been talking in my sleep. Now its my turn eh! I remember I was almost never told I had that tendency. It must have been this emotional chaos I've gotten into. But now it is finally over!!!

I opened my eyes this morning, awakened by the humidity in the room and my phone's message beeping tone. My mind was like a piece of clean chalkboard, everything dusted away. The night before is the only night I slept with no disturbing images in my head, with no more yearning for things that are gone. My eyes were dry. I kissed my softie penguin good night...

22 years behind me is now a history. I can smilingly signed off that phase of my life. Yesterday, I eventually managed to hand in my resignation letter to my very so busy boss. A very charming boss, which I will be sad to lose. Despite that, somehow I have cleared another burden in my life - the job. I've exactly no idea what's next, what's in line for me... it's not bothering me at all. I actually need a new life.

Porky left for US and Germany this morning. I have not been wanting to speak to him, it had been a difficult choice. And yesterday, it had to be the day. He still speak with that uncertainty and obliqueness in his words, forever. I'm very irritated with his indirectness, but for once I have to care for my own happiness. I'm over it!

It seems to have decided it was the day yesterday.

One sick week

I'm sick and empty.

I didn't write yesterday, I felt like a total mess... everything is out of control. It was then I actually got comfortable with writing out my emotions... yeah, in words!! More than words. My friends who got my confidential mail thought I had suicidal thoughts. That has never came across my mind, I think of death all the time, but not ending my life just because of failure, rejection or an obstacle. I wasn't very happy the day before, even I collected my long awaited blouse. I looked at it and for god's sake "will I ever wear this??" I was at my most irritable mood, I didn't feel like speaking. I just wanted to sleep it away. Falling asleep hasn't been so difficult like last night... it must have took me over 30 minutes to coax myself.

I woke up, believing that I'd have a better day ahead. I wanted to trash that blouse, but that would have sent my 60 dollars down the drain, so I confronted the shop owner. It was written "No refund No exchange". But I've custom-made something I'm not happy with. Reasonably, I got offered something else. Okay, I think I'm happier now.

The last call

God has answered my prayers and granted me a day off work. I was on MC yesterday, actually it felt contented to be ill, did you ever feel this way???

I'm back today and my manager, oh I should call him an asshole, welcomed me back with more work. Work that are redundant, I am not going to spare time to do useless things truthfully. So there, I'm sitting here doing the right things. He hasn't got enough of being mean, so he said,"What are you planning to do for that holiday over Xmas? Are you going anywhere for your leave? Ya' know we suddenly have one more site to finish before the end of the year... hmmm.. maybe.. maybe you would have to come back and work..." He gave me that pitiful look which I am not at all sympathetic with. I looked at his blackened face [as always] and goes "What, what the fuck are you talking about!!" in my head. Yes, yes, you can't manage your time properly, I'm not sitting here and clear that shit for you. I'm out. Wait for my letter on Monday!

And, yes this is me, and my attitude. I've not done anything wrong, have I?

Randomness VI

"Even the security guard and the cleaner are much more hospitable people..."

I had a sudden hesitation over my Bangkok trip. It is 2 weeks away. All of a sudden, I see myself lost in the bustling streets of Bangkok. No plan. No where to go. This random thought gave me a fright. I'm too tired to plan, to organise it properly. Maybe I should just go with the flow...

Somewhere deep inside me, I wish I am venturing all alone!!

My manager just said something I found it so so so...foul. He's the meanest person on earth, and now he has offended me. He is to suffer. He has no rights to deprive me of my holidays, and no rights to say,"If you can't finish by next week, you can't go for your holiday." I can't tolerate the days I have to face his blackened face. He should thank God that I had been at my most efficient to get things done for the last couple of months. I've gosh...14 days of MC I never had claimed even I was sick. And with my remaining off days that I wouldn't be able to cash it or sell it, now he's saying what seem like a threat. Doubting my capability and struggling with these last minute projects due to his incapacitation has got my blood boiling. He shall handle the consequences!

Even if he meant that as a joke, he has a fucked-up-crap sense of humour.

Everything is fraying my nerves, and leaving me in a chaos. I'm starting to question things... why haven't the shop called me to collect my blouse?? where have you gone?? why am I feeling sick?? when can I travel without worrying about money?? I'm leaving...

"Gan lan qiu"

We call Rugby "gan lan qiu" in chinese. My mum named it herself "Ka na kui" in hokkien, and maybe she's right. It does sound similiar when you try to translate. My mum has a funny theory behind, the rugby ball looks like a preserved fruit, that we called "Ka na". Olives, in case you're still searching your head for an answer.

I was watching the Rugby World Cup final 1700 on Saturday and my mum joined in. Australia vs England. Excellent match, though my colleague called it men-groping-men game, I had to dismiss the thought about them being homosexual. No offence I hope, to all rugby players & fans. ;) And oh yeah, Jonny Wilkinson was the hero... woo... horray for England!!

My mum, I call her a bizarre character now. Her little ideas crack me up. Here's an example. Look at this guardian pharmacy logo, she called it "Kar kui kui" in hokkien. Whenever she told me she was shopping at "Kar kui kui", I was like "what the hell is that!!" Later I saw she named it after the logo. "Kar kui kui" by the way, means "legs open wide" in english!!

December wisher

The temperature in Singapore has fallen to a minimum of 24 degrees, it is our "winter" season. No flakes of snow, supposedly the winter rain is here. Still, you wouldn't see much people covering in coats or sweaters. Having experienced a colder spring in London, I've began to like cooler weather. Heat just melts me at a rapid rate like an exposed ice cube. December weather will most likely be the same, just right for Xmas. It's a pity Singapore will never snow... I'm waiting for an opportunity to spend a white Xmas someday.

I've taken 9 days off next month. One week I'm flying to Bangkok, my third trip out of the country. It is somehow weird, I'm not traveling with my family or friends. But two cousins and an uncle. I'm looking forward to the unexpected, traveling with new people. Another stretch of period will be from Christmas day till New year day. I made a quick count and there should be only 13 working days for me. Two weeks. It does seem short since I'll not be in the office for over 3 weeks till 2004. I've a surprise present ready a resignation letter, which I'm still pondering if I should make it as a Christmas present.

For the last two years, we have made it a habit of exchanging Xmas presents among friends and family. Though it's more of giving when it comes to my family, I'm still asserting my parents should not live their life through only traditional Chinese values. Home parties are not very common practices here, but I'd like to see it as a norm sometimes.

I'm still anticipating for a call, to collect my newly custom made pink ethnic blouse...

Helplessness, like a fat kid gulping down ice cream

I looked at his face, I melted. I was starting to detest my hesitation, it had infected my lungs and made me unable to speak. Catching glimpses of him and occasionally staring out of the restaurant, I was forking on my plate of fusilli and farfalle aimlessly and pushing into my mouth. It was difficult. Slow.

I had so much things in my mind I wanted to say. Part of me held on to those words, chucking them to the back of my head. I felt like a vulnerable robber even with a pistol in my hand, it only made me shivered with fear. Every minute I was reminded with things we have done, and they were always wonderful. Reality has given me a pinch. I can't live in my own dream anymore, trying to picture everything perfectly.

Colors are running. Time was running out, I was somehow afflicted with a disease that has made me vocally incompetent. I like him. I wish I could stab myself and asked me why!! And why is it happening?? My courageous test failed, I'm so ashamed.

I saw the end, but it wasn't it....

Song of my day

Losing my religion -- REM
Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Apartment-to-be

My Future House Design Style

You are a Loyal-Protector
Famous Loyal Protectors: George Washington; George Bush; Mother Teresa

You are a master at managing complex operations, and are extremely skilled in communication and working with people. You are imbued with a sense of duty and can always be trusted on to see a project through.

You have a sense of duty and a steady temperament.

Recommended style for the Loyal-Protector: Resort

The design style which best suits your personality is the relaxed and carefree Resort look. You are not dictated by what is in vogue and have an individual style. You enjoy the freedom and tranquility of a beach resort look and would like to view your home as a refuge or escape.

Instilling, how can it not be

Wishing Stairs. Korean's latest horror movie is out tomorrow. I caught the preview with my sister, long time since the last. That was years ago. Its a funny feeling doing something together with my sister. Somehow my friends are drifting apart, I can begin to sense it. I'm too lazy to probe, and they are starting to retreat into their cave. Is the differences in our values and priority breaking our world apart?? Back to the movie, the thriller was much more terrifying than the entire show. It revolves around a gals' school, ballet and how they handle such an intense friendship, threatened with jealousy and envy.

Benson said I'm quiet in my testi [testimonial]. Its becoming a very common word being used to describe me. I guess I'm not too bothered by that. I'm in my own shell, hiding. He also made a comment that I have a "china doll" face. I stared at the mirror for few minutes, failed to see myself as one. I saw reddish cheeks, love my eyes, everything else seem to fall in place. So that's that.

Alex told me I should be truly rebellious, set myself away from typical Asians. Yes, part of me wants to do that, it is growing stronger every hour. There is an inflammable fluid flowing in my blood, its waiting to be ignited. And when that happens there will not be a quiet Trixy any longer. I'm suppressing this surging energy, there'll be an appropriate time for my reformation!!

Amelie from Montmartre. It was on Arts Central 2200 tonight. My third time watching this, it never gets any boring. The first time I saw on a VCD was bits and pieces of it. The second time, it was an uncensored version on the plane to london! And tonight, it again taught me something new. I felt like Amelie when she was helplessly shying herself away from this man she loved. I have overcame that. I began to see my bravery when it comes to expressing my interest in someone I like... yeh, I wish love is as easy to find just around a photo booth~~~

Surviving the hours

Some of you might already know I went for the movie marathon at AGF Theatre, Alliance Francaise. Saturday night. It began at 2330 and ended 0730. There was some delays here and there, due to some screening fault and the usual waiting for audience to get settled in their nest. An estimate of 8 hours with 10-15 minutes of break in between. The theatre was okay, looks like a lecture hall, a really small one though. Chairs were all right, though I had expected more comfy one.

The first show was complicated, about too many women and men. At the end of it, I was still pretty conscious. The second was a love story, slow and predictable. It managed to keep me awake still, maybe I was looking for some twist. The third, a dramatic comedy. It got so ridiculously funny at some points. Thanks for that, the laughter was the caffeine. The last one is a thai-french love story revolving around thai boxing. I wanted to catch it to see how interesting a western movie moved east. Oh, still quite cool I think.

I'm amazed at my own staying power. I was awake. But my sunday was simply bedded.

Reborn

My Beloved Terrapin

Remember the days you flew with me
Recall the days we had little games
Ya such a teeny playful thing
Forever you were part of this
God has taken its liking upon ya
Like how I always do
May ya little soul rest in peace

I returned home only to realise that the little terrapin has shut its eyes away from us, away from this world. It's hard to describe the feeling of sadness and loss. I've been in this state for a few days. And this news didn't hit me as hard. I couldn't understand why my parents and sisters didn't think such a small life is as important as ours.

I was the only one who didn't mind taking it for a bath, whom would want to play with it and gave it attention. I resent my dad for buying it and not everyone is willingly to put an effort to keep it alive. My little sister would do it some cleaning sometimes. My elder sister would shout at the little terrapin. If it has ears, it would have been a terrible shock for the poor thing.

It has been with us for a short while. Even not alive for long, it has brought great lessons to us/me where I can learn from. I've been returning late for past 4 nights, didn't have enough time to do little "games" with the little pet. Now, I see how hard it is to have a pet. Especially when you want to love it, keep it alive, make it happy, it has got a lot more than responsibility to shoulder.

I want a kitten, but only when I get independent and am able to take care of it.

I'm soooo... bitter

I hate:

My Job
The managers. The environment. The "you are the designer, you take all the shit"; the "you are the only mac user, you should be the mac expert"; the "you are the only designer, you give all the art directions BUT you must listen to my instructions"; the "no matter how little I pay you, you're going to finish all the shit, don't expect me to hire more helpers"; the "you can do all the magic and I don't care how".... crap crap crap

Me Myself
My emotional self. My impatience. My arsy attitude. My stubborn nature. My determination. My head that thinks too much and gets upset too easily. My gradually fading volleyball passion. My too ambitious dream to get independent fast.

All other things
Closeness. Involvement. Ignorance. Neglect. Hostility. Money. Strangers. Prank calls. Wrong-number calls. Pork. Whipped cream.

~~~~~~~~~~~Don't be nice to me~~~~~~~~~

We in dark dreams are tossing to and fro, Pine with regret, or sicken with despair --Keble

I'm a crumbled cookie. Tough on the outside, soft on the inside.
I'm a crumpled paper. Irreversibly wrinkled.
I'm the dried paint on the wall. Cracking and peeling.
I'm a withered pot. Leaves die, fall and shrivel.
I'm a mouldy cupcake. No one dares to eat me.
I'm black coffee. Sugarless, milkless and bitter.
I'm Super Lemon. Sweetness hidden behind sourness.
I'm a sad smilie. Inverted smile plus a drop of tear.
I'm a crooked thumbtack. Couldn't tack it straight.
I'm a spolit kid. No more toys can pamper me.
I'm a grumpy carebear. You see, it rains...
I'm an overdue movie ticket. The show is over now.
I'm one of the many potatoes in the sack. Jumping and wanting to drop out.

Some restaurant owner just conned me for a dollar, but I just can't be bothered anymore...

Prince Daniel...

I had a sweet dream, it was a fairy tale romance.

[Scene one] [Late at night] I left a pub with my sister whom went in search of a restroom. Awaiting, there I met a cute bloke. He's called Daniel. It's funny because most of the time I don't remember any names in my dreams.

[Scene two] We were walking off to some midnight supper with his friends. Why didn't I wait for my sister I don't know!! The only other weird thing is that my sister called me up talking really funny. She must be drunk but safely got home.

[Scene three] We were holding hands. Aww, I bet there was great chemistry, it all felt so sweet! He was supposed to send me home, but awkwardly it ended up with three of us walking home. One of his friends too. Ummmm..., how weird and coincidental, he lived in my neighbourhood probably on the other side. So I offered to see him home first, and his friend will walk me back. I sound like a perfect girlfriend, ha ha ha.

[Scene four] We were lost in the seemingly familiar neighborhood. Block 138. Block 137, 139... eh where's 138?? We were having a tough time locating, funny, its his flat but he couldn't recognize the way! After all this is a dream, right?

[Scene five] Oh yes, I nearly forgotten to mention, I was already seeing someone.. I was confused.

Then I woke up. What does it supposed to tell me??

Baa...aa..ba..

Automatic Halloween Costume Generator by kendokamel
Your name
Your costume	A Sheep
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Tell me what men think

I'm having serious problem guessing whats going in a man's head. Men whom expect you to understand, men whom doesn't want to speak their mind, men whom constantly run fast and expect you to catch up!!! It's weird, I always figure women are complicated creatures. But it looks like men are closets locked up with double locks, doesn't want you to get your eyes on whats inside. If they are happy, they unlock a drawer, and for once you see something. Now you think you'll get the key to other parts of the closet. But no, you are wrong, they only allowed you to peep into one, thats purely one. Don't even think about peeping into the keyhole!!! Women are said to be emotional creatures. But hey, men are just closed closets locking up all their emotions.

I find it very difficult, I need an open closet.

Freakin' cold

I was on my way home last night. My watch showed 20 00. My usual hour at 18 30 was undeniably delayed due to some online business. I was holding tight on my backpack one hand, the other trying to shield myself from getting wet. It started to drizzle. I had no cover, and needing to protect my notebook in my knapsack, I couldn't afford to get drenched. I couldn't run, with that possibility my poor machine wasn't shock-proof. With that speed I was walking, I would have cut down half my usual duration to the train station.

For a moment, I felt that I was back in london.

It reminded me of the cold, the horrible weather. Especially at night, it was absolutely freezing. One of the nights in london, my friend and I were lost in the streets. A lonesome neighbourhood except the two of us, totally lost, stood there waiting at a bus-stop. Checking on the street map for umpteen times, we were arguing about the directions. I guess we were both exhausted and afraid, just trying hard to hide our fear. It was horrible, our second night, and we were sick of getting lost [even with a street directory in hand]. We got through it, got back to the house after over an hour of serious hunting -- almost knocking on the wrong house.

I felt scared at that thought. If I was back in london working till 20 00, the sky would be dark plus its freaking cold. Everyone on the streets hid behind the bus shelter, trying to seek refuge behind someone much bigger. The chill wind blowing in your face and you hate yourself for still being out in the coldness. You can't wait to sit in a bar and have a nice beer or having a warm fish & chips laying on your table or even be cuddling on that couch watching Sex & the city or something...

After 30 minutes of train ride, I alighted, feeling so glad Singapore doesn't frost this time of the year. It rained so often though, accompanied by high level of humidity, it was simply shit trying to get to sleep. Across the road, I looked up at the sky and hoola I'd be home in a minute. And I wasn't freezing...

I'm a fairly good person

Message: Directions: Answer the following questions with yes or no.

For every yes, add 2 points. There are 50 questions. That means that if you said yes to all of them, then you will be 100 % bad. After you find the score send the e-mail to all your friends and the person that sent it to you, and as a subject write down the score you got. Remember, don't leave the subject as my own score, write down your own score.It is that simple and that easy. Whats nice about it is that there are 50 questions so nobody will know what u answered as yes.

Here are the questions: Have you ever:

1:Lied? *
2:Stolen? *
3:Betrayed a friend?
4:Smoked a cigarette?
5:Smoked a cigar?
6:Smoked weed?
7:Drunk? *
8:Cheat in a test? *
9:Cheated someone?
10:Used someone?
11:Ran away from skool? *
12:Played sick to skip skool?
13:Said the 'F' word ? *
14:Done the 'F' sign with your fingers? *
15:Said the word 'Shit'? *
16:Played Poker? *
17:Gambled on something? *
18:Hit somebody? *
19:Destroy your class or skool in a way?
20: Shouted in someone?s face? *
21:Told someone you hated him/her? *
22:Ignored someone? *
23:Made fun of someone? *
24:Hurt a pet or an animal?
25:Made any sexual behavior? *
26:Told a secret of your friend?
27:Painted the public walls with spray paint?
28:Made a fire in a garbage can in the street?
29:Broke the glass or headlights of a car?
30:Gave the owner of a restaurant a hard time?
31:Raised your voice on your Mom? *
32:Raised your voice on your Dad? *
33:Raised your voice on your teacher?
34:Disobeyed your Mom? *
35:Disobeyed your Dad? *
36:Disobeyed your teacher? *
37:Ran away from home?
38:Tried to kill yourself?
39:Tried to kill someone else?
40:Used your computer for bad things? *
41:Used the TV to watch bad things? *
42:Watched ?over 18 years ? MOVIES? *
43:Taped these ?R? rated movies?
44:Used your money to buy these kinds of movies? *
45:Seen bad pictures? *
46:Buy or sell these bad pictures?
47:Said a bad word to a family member? *
48:Hated or cursed the country u were born in?
49:Blamed or cursed ?life?? *
50:Blamed or Cursed God or religion?

56% out of 100, I'm not an arsehole yet :)

The last thing

The last movie I watched: Dirty pretty things
The last VCD I watched: Pecker
The last restaurant I been: Pizza hut
The last time I saw Porky: Friday for lunch
The last place I took photos: Little india
The last activity I done: Played pool at Selegie
The last party I attended: JUICE 5th Anniversary Party at Zouk
The last person I sms: Marcus
The last bus no. I took: 16
The last thing I bought: Hotdog + egg + cheese sandwich
The last beverage I drank: Pokka green tea
The last software I used: Photoshop 7
The last time I sweared: Today
The last Q someone asked me: Can i ask u 2 b my steady gf??
The last comment I added: Cory's blog
The last person I added on friendster: Wenhan
The last person I ICQ: Angela
The last thing on my mind: SLEEP

Die Franzosen

The 19th Singapore French Film Festival
27th Oct - 11th Nov 2003

Here are some interesting ones I'll like to catch:

1. Fureur / Rage
Shot in Paris' Chinatown and Thailand, the film mixes a rich array of cultures.

Manu is a young Thai boxing champion. Upon his parents' death, his elder brother Raph had to give up boxing to take charge of the family business, freeing Manu to follow up his promising boxing career. But when Manu is killed in an illegal fight by the brother of Raph's new love, his retired elder brother finds himself torn by a desire for revenge and the call of love.

2. Le Papillon / The Butterfly
A huge hit in France, “Le Papillon� is a highly entertaining comedy for all ages.

A widowed, retired Parisian sets off on an expedition to find a rare mountain butterfly. A lonely young girl from his apartment building manages to tag along, constantly asking questions, upsetting the tranquility the old man longs for and causing fears at home that she has been abducted.

3. L'Auberge espagnole / The Spanish Apartment
*Commercially released in Singapore on 30th October 2003**

4. Tanguy
5. Le cœur des hommes / Frenchmen

or maybe even this

A Movie Marathon on 8 Nov, Sat:
11.30pm : Embrassez qui vous voudrez / See How They Run R(A)
1.30am : Une femme de ménage / A Housekeeper
3.30am : Tanguy
5.30am : Fureur /Rage

Anyone interested to join me or watch with friends, you can check them out at www.sistic.com.sg or drop me a sms/call/comment!!

Note: Above films' information are taken from www.sistic.com.sg.

Hindi hindi!!

I feel like I'm celebrating Deepavali because I'm going to Little India later on...

p.s: I've found something about the festival, enjoy. The legend is bit too complicated, so here's something basic!

Note: Below source quoted from www.ammachi.org

India is a land of festivals where you will see at least one major festival each month. Deepavali (or Diwali) which literally means "rows of lamps" is one of the four main festivals of India. Throughout the world all Hindus celebrate Deepavali or Diwali with great pomp and enthusiasm.

The celebration of Diwali lasts six days, beginning on the 12th day of the month of Kartik (as per the North Indian lunar calendar). The day before Diwali, in order to evoke the grace of God, women fast. It is not that God wants you to go hungry or takes pleasure in your suffering - the principle is that you gain only by giving up. That evening, devotees worship Gomata (the cow) and her calf and feed them special food. Women pray for the welfare of the entire family. This holy day is called Vasubaras.

The first official day of Diwali falls on the 13th of Kartik. People set about cleaning houses and shops, and decorating doorsteps and courtyards with rangoli or multi-coloured designs. They purchase gold ornaments, new vessels, clothes, and other such items. Devotees arise early in the morning before sunrise and take oil baths. If possible, they wear new clothes. In the evening, people worship coins representing wealth. Houses and courtyards glow from the lights, and families decorate with lanterns. This day of celebration is called Dhantrayodashi or Dhanteras.

The second day is called Naraka Chaturdashi. People take an oil bath in the early morning and then in the night they light lamps and burn firecrackers. People visit their relatives and friends, exchanging love and sweets.

On the third day, people worship Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth. People decorate their houses with lit lamps and lanterns to welcome Lakshmi to their home and hearts. On this day businessmen close old accounts and open new accounts. The earth is lit up by lamps and the skies are coloured by the multi-hued lights of fireworks.

In North India, the Govardhana Puja occurs on the fourth day of Diwali. Devotees in the North build hillocks made of cow dung, symbolising Govardhana, and decorate and worship them. North Indians observe this day as Annakoot, or the mountain of food.

The fifth day of the festival called Bhaiyya Dooj celebrates unique and fun customs. Every man dines in his sister's house, and, in return, presents her with gifts. North India calls it Yama Dwitiya. Thousands of brothers and sisters join hands and have a sacred bath in the river Yamuna.

I'm retreating into my turtle shell

Kaputt. Schlecht. Schmerz. Verlassen. Abwesenheit. Tschüss! Plötzlich. Betrügen. Kindisch. Ersticken. Bluten. Allein. Kaputtfahren. Zutiefst. Betrübt. Hoffnungslos. Tat weh. Hat wehgetah. Verletzt. Aufgeben. Ignorieren. Launisch. Nackt. Phobie. Giftig. Weglaufen. Traurig. Verderben. Tot. Tod. Taub. Dunkelheit. Weinen. Kritisch. Gekränkt. Wahnsinn. Kopfschmerzen. Hass. Verabscheuen. Grab. Ende. Verboten. Versagerin. Hinrichtung. Leer. Enttäuschend. Schwierig. Durchfall. Verzweiflung. Ausbrechen. Deprimiert. Einsame Insel. Abreisen. Auf Wiedersehen.

What is wrong!!!

A wanted a dinner this evening. I said,"OK." I sent A a text. Two hours later, A got back and claimed he can't make it b'cos of meetings. Argh!! I'm OK with it since B told me she's free tonight to meet up. I said,"OK" too. I sent her another text. Ten minutes later, B got back and told me she can't make it too as she has to work late to cover for a colleague. So I said to myself "Fine fine." C is a new friend and like to go out for drink sometimes. So I decided to send C a text. C can't make it tonight as well. I'm resigned to my fate. There's no nice dinner for me tonight. Crap.

That's my life this moment

My good friend is down with chicken pox.
Angela, you need to stab that teddy, I lend you my fruit knife.
Volleyball was superb, b'cos we finally got the sun out. Joy, come back again, they miss you.
I still <3 swimming.
Friendster is starting to bore me.
Myspace is getting all weird with the dolls. DOLLY!!
Heavy workload is finally over.
My holiday mood is starting.
My bank account is depleting, waiting for pay day.
Porky is still so adorable.
I had some debating sessions going on with Marcus.
My colleague is a hermit.
Weird people called me up, people whom I didn't like to talk to.
I deleted someone's voicemails by mistake.
Suddenly I realised a friend is not as simple as he used to be.
My nails need a manicure.
Wake me up!!!
I need sugar, something sweet to get my head going.
I think I need to chew.

Lelong Lelong

I copy this from my friendster bulletin, for smart people, like me. He he he.
p.s: "lelong lelong" in hokkien is "cheap sale, cheap sale".

HOW TO BE an award winning salesman

A young Indian guy moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home".

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. you get the idea?"

"Of course," the young man said.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down. "How many sales did you make today?"

The kid says, "One"

The manager groans, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.64."

The manager exclaims, "What? $101,237.64? What did you sell him?"

The kid, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Pajero."

The manager says "You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?!"

The kid, "No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for his wife and I said, "Well, since your weekend's already screwed up, you might as well go fishing."

A little pet

I once saw a baby kitten, white like angel, under my block. How I wish I could bring it back!! My mum doesn't like animals, even a little dwarf hamster I failed to adopt from my cousin. Awwwww...

My dad bought a baby terrapin home. Small. Green. Beautiful (really, with a tattoo on its body; ummm, thats what I call it; too beautiful like a tattoo). Playful. Active. He doesn't like me to feed him still. Though he likes me I think. Maybe because I bathe him, bring him out and let him fly like a little jet, or even allow him to dive into a big tank with carnivorous fish (of cos I'm there to watch his safety)!!

Oh yes, I haven't name him yet.

I lost my shoes

The old ones broke, split its mouth. Actually it's not mine, my sister's. It's strange these things happened. I ever stepped out of my house twice and got to call help to get a new pair because mine just crumbled. Whenever I lent my sister my shoes, the same thing happened. Weird, isn't it?

Fortunately, 100 metres away there are 3 shops I can buy my new shoes from.

Oh well, anyway I needed a pair to match my outfit today. My new outfit from Orange Pages!! My boss compliments my 'hip clubbing outfit'... He he. Though I thought its supposed to be 'punky'. Someone said 'sporty', ummmm that's must be those shoes (old shoes). A very flary white top, stitched on it a butterfly outlined with beads. Matching with a silky baggy black 3/4 trousers which I've to pulled time to time, b'cos the bottom keeps slipping down my calves. Almost turned it into a long pants!! Phew!!! Now I bought a funky shoes to go with it.

I'm attending a dinner in less than an hour, bidding farewell to one colleague. Awww, sad thing when people leave...

Guys, enjoy your dinner too :)

Fans of trixilitus BLOG

Thank you, thank you.

Over a period of 79 days since the official sign-up on 29 July, my blog has over 3000 hits, averaging about 38 per day. Oopss, of course that includes my own [hits] logging in. It's my pleasure to continue writing so much (issit many?? I got this lousy habit misusing "much") thoughts, crap, and biased issues based on me, myself and people I know. I've noticed I've some mysterious readers going, very glad to discover that. Please feel free to drop comments, even you've just randomly stepped in.

I explore Haribo and see what I found...

Here's a little GUMMY for all my readers!!!

Women women woman

There is this thing going on between me and Orange Pages.

Wait, Orange Pages refers to a boutique located in a hotel shopping mall. 100 metres from my office maybe. I'm like a regular customer now. And today I finally stepped in after months of refraining from shopping. Almost every single time I frequent it, I'll leave the shop with something new. It seems like I must spend the $$$. Have they casted a spell on me?? Or I just couldn't resist not buying. I could walk the whole of Orchard Road without coming home with even a slightly newer thing. But with Orange Pages, it just has this effect on me, I've to go back there. Once I visited but found nothing I liked, I smiled goodbye to the lady owner. And I actually felt bad. They have beautiful women apparel, I especially love the ones with beads or unique folds. Sale is simply worth the money, you can find things 70% cheaper... wow.

10 things that drive woman crazy:
1. Shopping
2. Emotions
3. Sex
4. PMS
5. Size does matter
6. Gaining weight
7. Being dumped
8. Falling in love
9. Other women
10. Men

I'm zombie lookalike

I've found a cure (or an advice really)!!!

HOW NOT TO LOOK LIKE ME!!

1. Drink warm milk before bedtime. Not only is it soothing, milk and dairy products contain tryptophan, a natural sleep enhancer. Plus, the warmth may temporarily increase your body temperature and the subsequent drop may hasten sleep.

2. Jot down all of your concerns and worries. Think about your worries and possible solutions before you go to bed, so you don't need to ruminate in the middle of the night. A journal may be very helpful in letting you put away these concerns until the next day when you are fresh.

Dear friends, here's a link on how to get a good night of sleep. The above methods are quoted from the source.

The Cricket Player II

I saw him again... on a rainy morning like today. He boarded at Eunos, later sat on the 3rd seat away from me. And the usual crowded train at the peak morning hour was running slower than normal. I have recalled his name Pramodh or something similiar, I don't have a thing spelling indian or tamil names correctly. Though I am pretty sure I'm right this time. I didn't call out to him. Strangers should still remain strangers... eh

Oh BTW, happy moving blog-city!!

Randomness V

There is no cure, buy your hope...

My new addiction: Chewing... my mouth just needs to be in action.

My phone lost its sock, ya know the kind of sock for mobile phone, nowadays, even non-living objects get so much attention. I got my black Egeo one too, to prevent damaging scratches or stains. I must have dropped it somewhere! You lucky phone, I'll buy you a new one.

The devil inside me is terrifying... It seeks attention and have to be pampered. Its eviler than kids whom stole candy. I just couldn't get him in my hand and made it obey my commands. Someone teach me?!!

Have you got a darker inner self you are aware of? You know its bad, its wrong, its devilish, but you break your own rules. "Kill that demon", you scream.... but it continues to reincarnate itself inside you.

Some people just don't understand my occasional ridiculous behaviour. Neither do I. I seriously hate it, I need some potion to suppress it.

Bonbon

I have this small packet of HARIBO gummies, now only the empty torn packet is laying there. I'm addicted to HARIBO products. MAOAM STRIPES, the soft fruit flavour chew was my first off try, you can't stop chewing. Cherry, yummy. New flavour, Cola!! Back to the little packets of HARIBO, ya know good things come in small packages!

I'm investigating this tiny empty packet. Minutes ago, I was still biting the gummies, poor bears. It just got in your teeth, and you woouldn't let it go. Gnawing the little animal, grinding it into bits. Awwww... These aren't soft like normal gummies, that's what makes it so addictive.

Here's the details on the packet:

HARIBO GOLDBAREN
HARIBO MACHT KINDER FROH
UND ERWACHSENE EBENSO
FRISCH
FRUCHTIG
BARIG GUT
A cartoony yellow bear saying DIE ECHTEN (on the front)
The same cartoony yellow bear saying FRISCH UND FRUCHTIG (on the back)
FRUCHTGUMMI

If you have an itch, plus a sweet tooth, come come join the HARIBO CHEWING PEOPLE!!!

Know me better :)

Welcome to the 2003 edition of getting to know your friends. What you're supposed to do is to read what's below first, so you can learn more about the person who sent you this. Next, make a copy (not forward) this entire message and paste it onto a new message that you'll send. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and send this to a whole bunch of people you know "INCLUDING" the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you'll learn a lot of little known facts about your friends.

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Usually 8 with noises.

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Anyone, you probably, if you are famous.

3. GOLD OR SILVER?
Gold, with no choice.

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Pirates of Carribean.

5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
World news seriously, but only about wonders around the globe.

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
Honey plus water. I still like cereal plus milk.

7. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
Someone intelligently sexy.

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
Nah, gross.

9.WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
Your life story.

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
I'll think of one.

11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
City.

12.SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer or spring/autumn if I can choose.

13. YUM?
Potato, like always.

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
Salted.

15. FAVOURITE CAR?
VW beetle (for now).

16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING?
Meatball.

17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC?
Anything not heavy.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
Display of egoism, arrogance, liar & lustfulness.

20. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
Anything wild, big and not pink.

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO SPEND ALL?
Depends on how long I spend on travelling...

22. DO YOU WEAR PYJAMAS?
Mini ones, yes.

23. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Dark brownie.

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
4.

25. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE?
In singapore: after I get my CPF [retirement fee], I'll decide.

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
With 2 hands yes, with 2 balls.

27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
Friday.

28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
RED.

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Lot of cakes.

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
Nah.

31.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
German in 3 months.

32. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Othello (seriously, I'm quite good).

33. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Wallpaper, if I didn't find any new ones.

34. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
The after shower odor.

35. COMFORT FOOD?
Grilled steak/fish, mushroom, tomatoes, I love seafood. Pastry.

36.FAVOURITE SOUND?
Laughter.

37. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Being accused.

38. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Sex.

39.FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Mos burger.

41. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY..
hahaha, I'll live in a castle.

43. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yes, mr piggy (he's named alex).

44. STORMS, COOL OR SCARY?
Cool yet scary.

47. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME,
hahaha, I'd go for holidays all year round.

48. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I hate it, but I still eat them.

49. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
White.

50. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED
Spiders, maybe.

El solo

I badly needed a comedy. My first time, watching solo, it was the weirdest feeling. Even it sounded stupid to book a ticket since its always easy to grab one seat, I still went ahead. Whatever so, I got myself one of the best seats for that minimal booking fee. Sitting through all the commercial runs, many images ran through my head. The cinema wasn't half full, just enough warmth surrounding me. I was so glad I could snigger, giggled, chortled and laughed away in my own company. Disregard. I love it. The show ended but I never left my seat till everyone had gone. I stared blindly at those credits which no one bothered to spare any time for them. I was alone, except for one of the staffs going around clearing up the litters and leftovers. I was reluctant to go, seemed like I was waiting for something. The lights came on, the credits still running after more than 3 minutes, I wonder how big is the production crew!! I had to scram...

L'Auberge Espagnole / The Spanish Apartment

A fresh comedy from the new Europe, L'AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE is the story of a young man who, through cosmopolitan adventures and comic tribulations, finds his own unexpected place in a mixed-up, multi-cultural modern world. Bursting with energy, optimism and cinematic invention, the film was a runaway box-office hit in France and an award winner at festivals across the globe, ultimately garnering France's Oscar equivalent, the César, in the category of Best Female Newcomer for Cécile De France and receiving five César nominations including Best Film, Best Director, Best Writing, Best Editing and Best Supporting Actress for Judith Godrèche.

Above info is quoted from Golden Village.

Realization

I didn't know coffee with an empty stomach gets me cold feet.

I had a coffee with this guy. Not a friend. Honestly, he's a jerk. A leopard never changes it spots. I met him more than a year ago. I was then very fun-loving and could withstand any idiosyncrasy. Seriously, I'm a changed person now, I can't tolerate it anymore. I kicked him out of my life but he kept coming back. His existence is a pest.

He's a british, and the kind of man, when you asked for a milk latte, he gave you a black coffee. Say one thing, do another. He has an incurable egoism, and overly boastful. Every minute was getting hard, our conversation was like a red ant crawling up my feet. I wanted to give it a tight slap. He talked about cock, I mean, serious, COCK. I kept laughing, making a joke out of every cock he bragged about. Idiot. Never has someone been so annoying, I was trying to irritate the hell outta him. I didn't want to say "fuck you" to him, because in all honesty I will die rather than doing that.

I was clear of my intention before the coffee appointment - to piss him off. I never wanted a friend like that, someone who assumes every woman is his sex toy. Such men are not worth living, if only I have supernatural power, they will all be my little toy soldiers.

Make him disappear. Amen.

I've very little patience when it comes to inefficiency.

I hate to call them moronic because in fact they aren't, just plain clumsy. I'm supposed to collect my new (contact) lens after the coffee. Supposedly, they are to change only 2 boxes of my lens to the correct ones. They insisted to keep all 4 and return me altogether when they have done the exchange. Instead, they told me they made a stupid big mistake - changing all the 4 boxes. I'm not at all angry at their mistake (people do make mistakes), just riled I've made a wasted trip, and waste another few days waiting.

Damned tuesday.

100th blog entry

It is the 100th.

Unfortunately I've not come up with anything, brain is shutting off early these days. My energy level remains high, sex drive never fails, creative juice forever in making; its only that my brain cells deplete faster than its production.

1. My emotions cell
It has been some time back since I dated a man seriously. Falling in love <3,>

2. My creative cell
I'm always awed by photography. I like to take silly pictures, funny pictures, thought-provoking pictures, provocative pictures & pictures of people (unnoticed, they are what I called 'all naturale')!! My drawings aren't fantastic, occasionally I can do a few cute cartoon/caricatures. I doodle all the time. Circles. Lines. Perspective. Markers. Pen.

3. My materialistic cell
To be honest, I don't own a prada, LV, fendi or even DNKY stuffs. I guess I'm satisfied by simplicity. I believe, if you have simple critieria for a partner, that somehow also shows how materialistic you can be. I hate spending fucking lot of money on clothes and food except for shoes and watches. I <3>

4. My body cell
All I want to say, is I need another fucking long holiday away from Singapore. Away from home. Away from work. Bring me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. My own self
I like being myself, being honest, being naughty, being cranky, and making the person besides me happy.

6. My active cell
I feel like learning tennis, do kayaking, read a novel, design another issue of my webpage, do some unusual impulsive shopping, meet up a random stranger - speak - and then leave - never see him again, sit on a grassland - stare at stars, do myself a tarot read, eat a mini tub of cookies & cream ice cream in 1 minute, shoot the same picture 100 times with my digital cam, stretch on my gym ball, shake 1000 times on my hoola, or even travel for another holiday - I miss sitting in a plane having someone to serve me - watch free movies - eat those junk food.

I might just go home and sleep.

Four-eyed mania

I'm wearing my specs today due to personal reason. Convenience reason, going to have my eye check tonight!

My next door "colleague", N, started to wear one recently, and he looks like a teacher. I don't know why suddenly everyone is beginning to like having two extra eyes. My idol, M, is wearing one too. I'm totally taken aback. Its the first time he greeted me since the last meeting.

It was pouring heavily, me and N were walking back to the office after lunch... when someone familiar was drawing nearer. It was misty. The rain. As he walked closer with each step, I could figure him out. MY IDOL. His build, his face, his hair but not his umbrella. We went by, he said, "hi", I smiled. Its the first time ever I seen him wearing specs. And all 3 of us are wearing, its funny!

After he gone past, I couldn't help laughing, I blurted out,"Why is he wearing glasses?"

The phone and I

Hello hello!!

Sometimes I get all nervous answering the phone. Is that a phobia or my nervous wreck?! It might be my brain, restless; and mind wandering in the forest or hanging on the clouds. Or is that caller's voice too sexy. Now I doubt I can be a good secretary, which I thought I have that potential. Ha ha ha.

There is one time, a VIP [Very important person] called. I don't know if he is, he sounded like one. Boss & his secretary wasn't around, I picked it up. I told the VIP, "Our boss went off for the day." Damn, he was out for lunch. Did I not see that??? Or my memory failing??? GOD.

There is this new chief executive in the company but he is never in. There's no seat for him, I suppose he works from home. His calls always come in here, and I can't seem to find a reason to say. Once I took the call and I told the caller, "He wasn't around." That was right. But he's forever not around!!!! Except for a couple of minutes some days maybe.

TODAY
Ring...ringg... This man called. He was looking for this Big Shot whom sits besides me. I don't think I seen him this morning. I told the man, "He's not around anymore." Fuck, that sounds like he's dead. I felt like laughing at myself. Fortunately, I quickly added "For today, I mean" with a giggle. I could almost hear him giggling over the other end too!!! I was still nervous, then my sentences all came out fast [sticking together], "Would you like to leave a message or your number?? Do you want to call back? Shall I get him to call you back?" I only get a sense of relief when I finally hear the "Thank you" before hanging up.

I've got to overcome my panic attack on this, I wasn't like this, must be my head.

Wake me up

The title reminds me of the song -- Bring me to life [Evanescence]

I had a crappy tuesday, must be my PMS [premenstrual syndrome]. It was slow day and I needed a voice to wake me up. I finished off the day at 7pm, went on a search for an alarm clock. It was my dad's job many years ago, but today I've taken over that responsibility. My stupid alarm, I can't blame it really since I let it fell and this time it scattered to pieces. I fixed them back, substituted his old AA battery with another old one. I've this problem of mistreating my alarm, it never gets the best thing -- even a battery. So now it planned his revenge. It woke me up these few days an hour earlier than the preset time. I didn't get fed up but my sister did. It roused the wrong person from sleep. So I made up my mind this one has to go.

I can do a count of the shops selling alarms & watches in my neighbourhood. I walked to the nearest, stood by the shelf displaying all the cranky alarm clocks. Very small one and squarish. Very big one and brightly colored. Medium sized one with dull colors. Rectangular one with conventional design. Most were old and crummy. I hesitated for a moment, walked into the shop, did a quick browse of the ones inside. The keepers were busy with customers, so I ended up playing with the displays outside. Some didn't work anymore. One alarm goes off no louder than a bird's chirp, argghhh. I twiddled with another one, it rang.. oh well, better than the first.

I walked in again, looking into all the glass windows. The assistant, finally unoccupied, came foward. I hate to buy a clock, then again I have to. I reached for a few of their newly arrived, beautiful condition but out of my budget & oversize for a weeny alarm. I couldn't bother to consider, pointed at a conventional one, tested and taken. S$18. Costly. He gave a dollar discount for students, I looked like one, lucky. When I paid him the notes, he went, "Are you singaporean??" I said, "yes." And he went, "You don't look like one."

Man, what has a clock purchase got to do with my nationality eh...

Randomness IV

"Why can't I see..."

My left eye suddenly turned blind on me. The world morphed into a misty fog, all the text and numbers no longer legible to me. I covered my right eye with my finger, kept the left wide open. I done that a couple of times. I had my contact lens intact. Why can't I read!!!! I didn't panic. I tried looking at something green. It didn't improve. It made me mentally tired trying to read with my left eye, everything I could see are images filtered with Gaussian Blur. I reckoned I use photoshop too much, I tend to be chucking all the graphical terms into my writings. I'm fed up with my left eye; I pressed my finger against it, could almost felt the eyeball thumping with my pulse... I want to dig it out, step on it and fit a new one in.

My dear friends, what have you become? It's amazing to watch yourself grow and observe what others become. I've this 5+ years old friendship still going strong, with a few mates. There is this connection between us, always keeping the fire burning. I <3>

TO YOU GALS: Be sticky like paste, no hermit allowed.
p/s: Angie, I've been very critical, sorry. It must have been harsh but I guess you stand well on your own feet.

Affection is no medicine. It is a drug -- addictive and gives you a good feeling. It makes you high, and causes depression or loneliness without it. It wraps you up totally, get you immersed and send your mind craving for more. Once you yearn for it, the monster is after you.

Fucked being efficient

When you work slow, your boss thinks you're being paid for nothing...
When you work fast, your boss thinks you're a superwoman...

My manager came over and asked me about the progress. My schedule is already packed with 5 projects all going at the same time. And one deadline is now delayed for a bit, he expects to squeeze in another project or two and hold off the other one half cooked. He doesn't even know how much me & my colleague [the only programmer] worked like hell to get things done. Damn, I've enough of this fucked up working environment, simply chaotic. Dumbo.

Anyhow, I've much bigger plans than staying on. I shall make another wish come true :)

Randomness III

"I'm not nice all the time, but I can be..."

John left Singapore. I met him at work over a year ago, maybe June 2002. He was very serious -- not someone whom will bounce around the office chatting to gals or colleagues. It was then I met these group of editors in my previous company (well we still work under the same roof)! Four men, totally different from each other.

Damien was probably my first acquaintance among them. He somehow reminds me of Dirk because of their build I guess -- very tall! Soon I had to work with some of these guys and that was how we started talking. Nick has got a scottish accent so strong I couldn't figure for weeks. Now it is okay. Simon, I was told he's the oldest of them all, he looked shy to me -- maybe his face always looks like it's blushing. Surprisingly, John was the guy who started to hang out with me & my mates after I knew him a little better over a couple of boozing sessions. They are all very sweet people, they bought me drinks the day before I set off for my first flight ever -- to London.

We had a farewell booze with John at Crazy elephant on Friday night. I was nicknamed "Kodak girl" because I was getting them in the pictures most of the time. Quite a crowd -- colleagues & friends. John used to lunch with us, now I guess I'll miss him. And my mates, I bet you gals will miss his company too!

My lil sister has so many new ideas or new stuffs to tell me all the time. She's a little light bulb -- always light up even on the brightest day. Little whizz! She was going on and on about sleepwalking yesterday.

"Sis, ya know why people sleepwalk?? That's because when people sleep, their body are in state of paralysis. And if they sleepwalk, that means their body are not paralyzed," she quoted she read it from somewhere. Then she made a mean yet funny remark about my other sister whom frequently speak in her sleep, "Now I know why 'Sis' talked in her sleep, because her mouth wasn't paralysed." We were laughing for a bit... shhhshhhh, better not let her hear it.

Overdose

Panadols are NO NO to me. They are vomit-pills to me. When I was a kid, and that was the last alternative for the closed clinics. I hate that bitter aftertaste lingering on my tongue. They made me puked. Yukkkss!! Since then, I never laid my finger on one no matter how sick I was.

The doctors all wound up for the day, by the time I finished work. Caught "The Bachelor 3" on TV, had dinner and a shower, it didn't make my fucked up nose better. Before I rolled into bed, I had those worst pills, the only difference was this time I had the Xtra strong ones. I took 2. I jumped in bed, covered all over with quilt & pillows. Whatever I could get.

Not forgetting to stick tissues in my nostrils.

I woke up at fucking 430am, my nose dripped like a tap again!! I shot another Xtra strong Panadol. I couldn't sleep in my bed, I was suffering. I slept on the couch for an hour before my dad's alarm went shrieking into my ears. I sneaked back to my room. Fortunately, it lasted me through the rest of the dawn.

I came to work today. No MC. I'm too busy for that, and since my blocked nose is no longer choking me. Yeah yeah, I can't miss out an important drinking session tonight! A british ex-colleague, John, is leaving Singapore for good. Time for a booze, I think I'll just like a red wine :)

The worst thing

I have a terrible nose blockage, after I woke up this morning. It started last night, I got up at 2am feeling great discomfort about my nose.

When I had a fever, I thought that was the worst thing -- lying in bed, headache, too weak to walk.

When I had a cough, I thought that was the worst thing -- can't speak without coughing every few sentences.

When I had a sore throat, I thought that was the worst thing -- there's a bug crawling in my throat, irritating.

When I had a flu, I thought that was the worst thing -- sneeze, sneeze, sneeze.

When I have a blocked nose, I believe this is the worst thing that could ever happen. It drips like a tap, I've to keep sticking nice fitting tissue mould into both my nostrils. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I can't count the many pieces of tissues wasted, and my nose isn't getting better at every minute with the cold weather. My manager has to bear with the awful sight of watching me typing with a nose stucked with papers. Oh, if only he doesn't sit opposite me!!

Open your mouth...

Have you noticed some people's habits of repeating words in their speech?

The other day I attended the press conference, one of the speakers had that habit of ending with an "all rightzzz..." -- I added the "z" for his slang. It was irritating, it wasn't obvious if you were there trying to interpret his message. But it happened always I tend to pay more attention to such minor details.

Earlier on, I had a brief meeting with James about our usual project. He likes to repeat my name at the start or end of every sentence. Or maybe every two sentences that came out of his mouth. He goes ".... trixy" or "trixy ...."

Now I wonder what's mine??

Ich mag Johnny Depp

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL

My rating: * * * *
My comment: I <3 it
Best part: How Jack Sparrow conquered Commodore's ship & the Black Pearl
My inspiration: Elizabeth Swann's boldness
My aspiration: Be dishonest like a good pirate -- Jack Sparrow
My one word on the movie: Charming
My thought on the movie: Didn't the books say pirates are one-eyed??

10 reasons why you should watch it:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Orlando Bloom
3. Keira Knightly
4. Geoffrey Rush
5. The Curse (under the full moon)
6. So much Aztec gold (you will never see in real)
7. Pirate ship with deadly skull sails (you will never see in real)
8. How to escape deserted island in 3 days
9. Rules are guidelines
10. When you come to a dead end, "par lay"

Watch it, be a pirate!

mein Kaleidoscope

"You people always said [[[kaleidoscopes]] are common during childhood..."

I haven't seen one till it caught my attention at a Japan fair. It enthralled me totally. Now I own one :)

p.s: The kind with beads!!

Oz friend

James is HERE. Strange to recall how we befriended, I wasn't interested then to stay in touch. It wasn't anything to do with how he looks. He's pretty okay, considered attractive to japanese gals. And he always never fail to appear with his blond hair all spiky. I still think he is skinny, ha ha.. Eyes too big and wide for his tiny face. Its about communication I guess despite we talked lot of shit online. He came over two years ago for a design conference. It was then he joined me & my mates for the same conference, party together for a night. I saw him a few times when he visited Singapore, I reckoned he has made it his second home. I'm making holiday plans to go brisbane, he has invited me over to stay in his brand new apartment!!

Ok, so he was here on Saturday. Wait... I had volleyball on Saturday, skills deteriorating with the two weeks of slacking. It was still fun; at least we lost some, won some. A whole new bigger gang this time -- Me, angie, joy, benson, marz, ashley, tom, winston, patrick, chris, dude & jacky!!! That's a fucking big group, in a good way I mean. Romantic candles by the beach ha ha. Ummm got bullied by the guys, but I let them did that out of my own will. Probably I'm feeling kinky being thrown into the water, cheez.. how can I say that!? Ignore me, but yeah I was being spontaneous. And it made everyone playful and got into the water. The tide was low, moist slimy sand underneath my feet, big rocks under, it was risky getting a few cuts on my legs. We had such a hard time grabbing Benson (he's the pirate whom always mastermind the kidnap and throw us into the water), I nearly pulled his pants off. Fortunately it didn't come off.

And now, returning to James... We spent a night drinking together, as expected there was no crowd on a Sunday. Superb boring!! We sat at Sound bar till nearly 1am, were among the last few customers. Walked down the whole stretch of clubs, taxis queuing down the isolated lane, I could almost pity their long hours of waiting. We went in another club, there was merely 20 people. And they looked like wandering kids whom didn't want to go home. I drank a B-52, running with white flames. James could talk whole night, I was amazed. I couldn't catch up, nearly dozing off -- must be the volleyball yesterday. Finally, we went back yes yes, I was waiting for that... I had a dip in the bath tube, got to admit it was my first time soaking in a tub. No rubber duckie. In a misty translucent bathroom. I felt so naked in the room, it seemed like there wasn't any wall there. I had my eyes on the tv when he took his shower!! Then the lights wouldn't go off, we had to get someone to come fix it before we could finally slept at 4am. Argh!

We eventually dragged our bum off the bed and headed for lunch at Bugis. I met his ex-gf, Karen. Ummm, I shouldn't comment on other people's gals, right? Anyhow, she looks sweet but not so appealing. :p

Honest, it's the first time I shared bed with a friend of an opposite sex.

Have a break, have a tic tac

I don't like Kit Kat so muchhh.....

I didn't end up buying the yam mooncake, I couldn't find them. ALL SOLD OUT. Just get on my nerves these last minute shoppings, it never went well for something like that. Anyhow I replaced them with 5 mini tubs of Ben & Jerry ice creams, enough for all. Fortunately, they made up for it.

Mid autumn [mooncake festival] this year wasn't as exciting. It could be the lousy weather, the rain that spolit the atmosphere. Or could be myself?! I made a [simple] wish with all the candles I lit up the last mid autumn, it came true. I should be thankful or in a way give myself a kiss because I made the effort. This year, I wish for nothing... I want it to be over with my mind at peace. It felt good and I slept well.

Months of hard work, I pity my eyes for being tortured by these computer screens. Time to give it a break, I had my coming Monday OFF, yippee!!! I want to jump like a kid, thumping the ground with my elephant legs!!! I want a candy. I should buy myself some sweets.

So many plans [or is it "much"?!?!] for the lovely Saturday & Sunday. A booze. The beach. Long-time no-see friend. Volleyball [finally]. My mates. Dancing. A swim. DVDs. Aww, I can't wait. Have a nice weekend too.

Light up a lantern & run like a kid

Sometimes I think my lil sister is cute... she's 17, but she still is.

She texted me, "Hey, i got e lanterns n a box of candles!! Remember to come home early to play!" It's not silly, at least it makes me smile amid doing all my work.

Now, I'm so hungry for some mooncake. Durian one especially. And where's my yam... I think I've to go and buy some!!

Randomness II

"I’m all composed..."

I got home last night, a piece of bad news broke to me. I have expected it. The poor thing was struggling. We wanted it to live, but it had since given up hope about residing in its strictly constrained space. Claustrophobia. I reckon that must be the reason behind its suicidal act. Silly fish.

A mini biodata to commemorate the little fishie:
Nickname: Unknown (Maybe my dad did name him without my acknowledgement)
Species: Flower horn (Luohan in chinese terms)
Color: Silver-gray
Size: Approx. 3” long
Lifespan: Short
Adopted by: Dad
Origin: As a gift (Maybe it came from a BIG drain I heard)
Suicidal strategy: Flipping itself upside-down, laid motionless in water, fins stopped flapping, mouth opened, and attempting to cease its breathing

I finally motivated myself to refresh my german again. Two books lying amidst my pile of collectible junkies for near 2 weeks. I’ve only 7 days left. Kinder Surprise!! If you know these EGG chocolates for kids, but well I ate them too. Kinder is children, ahh. Now I see. Bon Bon is sweets. Little things in life go past unnoticed, even some labels, brands, roadsigns or road names... I always ponder over them, they aren’t silly names; they got here through some means or arrived with a concept behind it.

I’m all and always curious. I love interacting with new stuffs: new people, new ideas & new toys. ;) The old iron in my house met his doom the other night. It fell a metre and landed with a “dannng” on the marble floor. It didn’t dash to pieces and littered the ground. It has got a hole few centimetres from its handle from previous collision. So I figured I should make the opportunity to bring in my new iron which lived in lonesome misery for over 12mths. I won it at a company lucky draw. It was good because I wasn’t full time then, I still got it. My boss liked me I think. TOSHIBA steam iron. All different from the damaged one, I read its manual. I didn’t complain because I miss studying. There, I’m studying a manual. I spent fucking 2hrs playing around with it on Monday night... “experimenting” should be a better word! I tried normal ironing and steam ironing, I like ironing (except for my lazy streak). Heaps and heaps of clothes that waited for it, I can almost hear they clapping with their limbs.

Are you happy? I am, it is mid autumn festival. I can lit my corridors with candles...