Books & Beer (literally)

 

My first book swap at Books & Beer (held yesterday at Mischief @ Esplanade). I arrived really early and was among the first few who came for the swap. As it was my virgin swap, I had no idea what to do really. I put down my books as I picked new ones up. Later that afternoon, I learnt that we should drop them with the organizers whom would stamp the books before shelving them for us! Oh well. I know that for the next one :P

Adding some colors

Johanna Basford's Secret Garden is beautifully illustrated... I have received a Chinese copy (comes with a mini book) from my sister. It is very therapeutic indeed to spend an afternoon, not thinking but colouring. To catch a glimpse of my completed work, visit my instagram account.

Sprang up

That which does not kill us makes us stronger - Friedrich Nietzsch


And yes, that's surely the case. After bouts of illness and downtime, it is time to bounce back up again. I have expected this, I am glad no matter how many times I have fallen, I always know I will be okay. Faith. A wonderful creation in life.

I have also read a few pyschological books on emotions and one named "Learning from the Heart" by Daniel Gottlieb. It is more than inspiring. It made me feel I was normal when anxiety hit me, when my body was reacting to a shock and I wasn't ready to feel anything. I suddenly understood.

It has been a while I can truly feel I am glowing from within. I always know I'm self-reliant. Happiness, happy food, retail therapy. I don't need anyone else to provide those. I just needed time to get back to my original state.


And yes, I need to finish off my pending Japan journal and re-join the rat race again, how fun! I am looking forward to a new start, hopefully some form of consistency in life and then my best friend's wedding in London!

Law of attraction

Have you heard about something called the law of attraction? If you haven't, you're missing out the cream on top of the cake. Here's Wiki's short explanation for your understanding.

Few months back, a trainer came to our office to give us a brief talk on law of attraction. It was then new to me and I actually like the idea. It's like the "Christians believing in God", "Buddhists beliving in Buddha" or me believing in miracles. You get the idea?

Anyway, I was reading this book called "Meeting Your Half-Orange" by Amy Spencer. It focuses on dating optimism. Well, using the law of attraction really, and it is inspiring. I mean, why do women have to ask ourselves,"Why did that guy not like us?" Geez, it's not our problem, is it, really. I must say this book is only meant for women, as it addresses most of our issues, especially our pessimistic way of looking at rejection. I have no idea if it works, but I'm adopting the positive thinking and going ahead with it. No harm ;) I have also shared the stories with my good friends whom are single!

I did up a love board earlier today! A friend once told me she listed the characteristics of a man she likes, and that guy appeared. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't last. In the book, it tells us not to list the characteristics or how he should look like physically. We should focus on the ideal relationship we want, imagine the things we will be doing together and focus to wanting it. It will come. So I shall believe it!

p.s: It's available on Amazon.
p.p.s: I also found Amy's blog and thought I should list it for future inspiring read.

Reviving Tuesday

And I did finish the sequel.

And Never Stop Dancing - 30 More True Things You Need to Know Now by Gordon Livingston.

I prefer the first book, but not it is less interesting, but this one actually touches on more complexity of human nature. He made this book sounds a lot like some sort of self-help or self-therapy than the first. I find more humour in this than the previous though, and like to quote you some of them, including some that do make some sense!


"... It might be the fault of our mothers. Either they loved us so much that no other adult can match them or they didn't love us enough so we're still children looking for that unconditional approval few spouses are willing to provide."
"... OK, that's called a mistake. One of the rules of life is that, in general, we have to pay for our mistakes. What you're feeling at the moment is your payment."
"... The marital wreckage that flows from infidelity, the unwillingness to give another person the affection we would like to receive from them, the general disparity between what we say and what we do, all contribute predictably to the demise of our closest relationships."
"...it is much more difficult to create and preserve than it is to destroy. Any eighteen-year-old can be trained in a few weeks to shoot people and blow things up efficiently. It takes a little longer to train those in the business of saving life."
"And yet, pleasure is not the absence of pain, nor is health the absence of disease. It is what we do and who we are with that makes us happy."
"... Because our desires are so powerful for what we cannot have - wealth, beauty, and unlimited happiness - we find it difficult to think logically about how to achieve the more prosaic but longer-lasting satisfactions that are available to us."

Contemplative Wednesday

The reading mood has came back... I finished another book today.

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart - 30 True Things You Need to Know Now by Gordon Livingston.

I enjoy it, because I could see things and hear stories from a psychiatrist's point of view. In some of the chapters, he really woke me up with the things he said, he might not be right all the time but lots of it do make sense. I reckon some of my friends should really read this book. LOL. The musings about life can be quite an entertainment to read, if not thought-provoking.

There are too much things that I can really quote from the book, so I am skipping this. However, here's one I'd still like to share:

"It is our fallibility and uncertainty that make us human. Our constant challenge is not to seek perfection in ourselves and others, but to find ways to be happy in an imperfect world."

I have another of his sequel to continue tomorrow if my reading mood still persists ;)

Inspirational Monday

This morning, I lazed in bed and started reading this book I got from the library. It's titled Dear Sebastian about a father's last wish to publish a book with collection of inspirational letters to his son. Jordan, Sebastian's dad, died at age 35 with terminal cancer. At 35, a prime time where most people are enjoying their lives, taking life for granted and complaining about so many minor things... Jordan had only one wish, he wanted his son to grow up to be an amazing person when he's not around anymore to guide him. Thus he set up this project and wrote to writers, politicians, artists, sports stars, musicians, businessmen, journalists and many others to ask them to share their thoughts on finding happiness, success and peace in life. Sadly, before he could write his own letter to his son, he passed away, his mother then continued to help make this dream come true.

My afterthoughts...

Unfortunately, we can't tell people how to live their lives. Everyone has to make their own destiny, good or bad. I read in part of the book that everyone has their conscience and we know all the time if something is wrong or right, but it is really up to that individual if you want to make it right. I also recall this sentence that says,"If you've nothing good to say about someone, say nothing." Why do people have to be mean when they have a choice not to be? It also tells us not to bear grudges as the person carrying the burden is the one who bears it. I see some new things in life that I didn't seem to notice before, this is the thing I love about such inspirational books.

I also like to share some quotes found in the book:

"Learn to tell knowledge from wisdom - seek people with wisdom, remember that the world is full of the knowledgeable blind."
"... every person is deserving of respect, ... from the lowliest to the greatest."
"Try to turn every negative into the biggest positive, because the people you meet on the way up may very well become the people you will meet on the way down."
"Don't go looking for a massive improvement in everything you do - learn to delight in small things, because, one day, they will all become the big things you were looking so impatiently for."
"One of the most difficult things in life is recognising how to evaluate yourself, because, at the end of the day, knowing the good and bad in yourself is more important than the opinions of others...You can never validate yourself through the eyes of others - only through your own... We all like to be praised, but we should not seek it."
"If it's going to be, it's up to me."
"Dream and dream big, but remember it's in the following of the dream where the success lies. Let achieving your dream be a bonus."
"It was great for you to ride your first winner but don't forget you are only as big today as you were yesterday -- Don't forget where you came from and don't get carried away."

缘分是什么东东嘛。

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

A book I'd like to recommend and share... (Thanks Joe!) Well, I personally like what I read, but not sure about the others. My sister finished the book but she has a very different perception, she thinks it's boring and doesn't get what it's trying to get at. It's about following your dream... Pea, that's why I am asking you to read this too!!

I love the ending, because it made me laugh. Well, like most of the time in life, sometimes you go about and realise you're back where you were... Doesn't it sound like my adventure to the UK and now being back in SG, but what have I gained over the time I spent over there??! Too much. Lots of good things and lots of bad... enough to make me now a different person looking at the world with a new perceptive. Indeed, I think I have heeded the omens which led me back here... but will it all end here - I definitely don't have an answer yet!

I also want to quote 2 phrases from the book that left me an impression:
pg 16
If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
pg 18
... a certain point in our lives, we lost control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.

Saturday, let me rant

Actually... nothing much to rant about...

I had too much sleep last night, 11 hours and I wondered if I really needed that much sleep! Working always make one exhausted - don't you agree?? Well, even though my 1st week at work was pretty easy and kinda relaxed, but still those 40+ hours of sitting at a desk for a restless person like me is wearing me out. Ha.

My sister (for the 1st time in AGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, yes, I meant ages!!!) swept and mopped the floor. Ahaha, my dad teased that he should go buy 4D on her IC no.!

By the way, I enjoy comments. So anyone who feels like dropping a note, feel free to do so. Reading the last comment left by an anonymous person, I have this warm fuzzy feeling. It's awesome to read that someone has actually visited the same cafe as I did and shared the experience!

My workplace has this little corner, a mini library. They have collected all kinds of books related to design, cultures, history and heritage. Of course, most of them are related to Singapore. I happened to chance upon these books illustrating stories of SPG and they are hilarious. They are meant for the light-hearted, so don't read if you take offence of very minor things.

The 3 books are: Sarong Party Girl. Revenge of the Sarong Party Girl. The SPG rides again. They are by Jim Aitchison and Theseus Chan. I finished the first 2 and in the mid of the last one now.

And there's this very amusing phrase I quoted from the book --

"Local girls know that white men can give them more. More excuses, more lies, and more Herpes."

Gosh, these books were published in 1996 or earlier... how old was I then?? I hadn't heard of the term SPG then, and look how it has revolved to what it is today. I think there's more acceptance towards intercultural marriages now, not just for the girls please. I have local Singaporean friends marrying women from China, Japan and many more... So I guess when you want to penalise someone, be fair and think about what's on the other side. It's generally a very fun read... can't stop giggling reading it in the train (but beware of the "provocative" illustrations who can catch a lot of attention when reading in the public).

D-day

It's Monday!!!!! Minutes past midnight. I'm supposed to start my first day of work today, well that'll be in 8 more hours. Jesus, I should be in bed!

But I have been wanting to write, dying to write... and it didn't happen. So here I am now, doing a last minute entry just before end of my commitment-free days (non-working days). It is a good thing because I really enjoy the feeling of earning $ and having some to spend!

It has been a good weekend, in fact, very occupied. Fully utilised. I just feel like my working days have started since Friday.

Friday, I signed the deed to confirm the end of my 11am - 3am lifestyle, spent the late afternoon with ah Man (which happened to be his birthday just minutes ago! Happy Birdday!) and his friends. I found a petite Blythe doll and bought it at S$25 which is a steal (after seeing it retailing at $36.90 somewhere else).

Saturday, I had to wake up darn early for a medical check up followed by Borders' shopping which I ended up with a very happy buy. Well I'll introduce this book in another entry (yes, this has been what I wanted to write about too... so let me have a good read and I shall share more!). Oh, for lunch, I happened to chance by a Wanton Mee stall at Cuppage building (was actually heading for the Japanese Char siew rice - Joy/Pea, they don't have it anymore?!?!). The Wanton Mee turned out simply delicious (well, above average, not the best but yummy and cheap!), my plum juice was just as revitalising. Later in the evening, mum, sister and me went for Chinese New Year's goodies' shopping at NTUC, we bought over S$80!! So much chocolate, nuts, sweets, drinks... the usual we need for the coming February. Somehow, the anticipation isn't there anymore.

Sunday, I did so much cleaning and was sweating so much. I worked like a cow today. Cleaning, washing toys, laundry, vacuuming, changing sheets, wiping, clearing stuff, organising stuff. All because Chinese New Year is coming and at least 44 hours a week I'll be facing 4 walls inside a cubicle! So I better get things done. I still have some more to do, at least the hardest is over!

Done so much this weekend, now I hope I'll get some good sleep and be able to wake up at 7am. Time to hear the birds chirping... and resume walking that route to Suntec tower.

Be a psychological nerd

It is the first time... someone approached me because a book I'm reading :))))

I was in the train... standing at a corner, obsessed with the book in my hand. Suddenly, this indian man in front of me came up and said,"Is this a psychological book you're reading?" I was a little taken aback but I do appreciate these observant people around... I noticed a few strangers slightly curious about this book I was reading. It's named Destructive Emotions: And how we can overcome them. I found it in the library, and it was a real-life experiment the scientists had with a Dalai Lama, and they have started to study positive emotions in psychology recently. So now you know they have been focusing too much on the negative ones in the past! It is actually a study between Buddhism and Science. Interesting, isn't it?? It's very thick, so I'm still stuck in the early chapters....

Men vs Women, Marriage vs Divorce

Upon finishing the psychological book, I have a better understanding of things behind marriage. Too bad, I can't recall everything to make a good summary, but look out for this book if ever you want to resolve that negative feelings inside you in your relationship.

Like it mentioned, men have their ego and their vulnerable side they wish no one else will see. They hid them, became distant or acted out in other way. They want to be the dominating partner in a relationship, don't want to be tied down or appear dependent on the relationship. They wish to appear emotionally strong, or refrain from expressing themselves. They are the one giving themselves the pressure, we women can only try to understand, but NOT change them.

Women are oversensitive creatures, many of us know that. A woman becomes overly suspicious, dependent and clingy and allow her fear to conquer her mind. Some women are reluctant to leave a bad relationship that promises them nothing because they didn't want to face up to it. In order to experience a real love, we women have to learn to let down our guard, let go of the past traumas, recognize the way we feel and confront it (in a proper way than just venting them).

I'm not discussing the chapters on sexuality in relationship ;) Here is a very important thing I learned: We need to become comfortable retaining our independent sense of self while remaining involved in an enmeshed and merged relationship (quoted from line 01 pg. 203 of "Is it your or is it me?" by Scott Wetzler).

The last few chapters revolve about separation and divorce which I do not totally comprehend. It gives me a rough idea but I guess on my part, its impossible to visualize the pain involved.

For most situations, we require insight to allow ourselves to understand the reasons behind without putting all the blame on the other party, to recognize we are human have such emotions (good and bad). Then we need to master them, finding constructive ways to reach a mutual solution. Next, we also need to be more tolerant and learn to forgive, in this way we let go of the anger :)

Does this sound difficult?? I guess life is just a course of learning... :))

Disappointment & Anger

I have read another further 3 chapters. It's about coping with anger and disappointment which we very often experience in relationships. Our partner or even us might be part of the cause, but then the start of either of this is due to our own expectation. We want it from them, we expect a reaction from them, we assume they will be what we have in mind. Then again, we are wrong. We should work within their limitation, we should focus on the benefits we gained being together and not count the flaws. So right!

*I hope I'm not infringing the copyright... hehe. I'm just translating them in my own words and personal view, so some of you out there might find this useful**

Why we argue?

I am reading this psychological book revolving around arguments between couples. Okay, I didn't get this because I was seeking for some help on my relationship. In fact, the title captured my attention for a longer than three-seconds span and so I decided to add to my borrowing list.

I've only read the first two chapters but on a busy day like today (I'm a quick reader I think). It's describing about scenarios where partner blames each other for a specific arising quarrel. All just because of our "preconception" (you might want to look this up in a "medical" dictionary?). Why do some couples fight so often, argue so much or feel so miserable in a relationship?? (I feel like a psychologist now!!)

Most of the time, they come from within - emotions. There is no right or wrong in most situations, because each of us look at a particular thing in our own perception. We make our assumption, accusation and conclusion - with our own mindset of course. So how often are we right?? When we start pointing finger, we didn't consider how we could have directed that negative feeling (frustration, anxiety, sadness, etc) into something more constructive. And of course, it takes two hands to clap.

Coming back to me, I don't think I want to elaborate on my own experiences. But these did happen, and today we have resolved that without this book. I'm pretty eager to finish reading, I wonder if my little childhood ambition of becoming a psychologist would have turned me into one if I followed that dream.

And to me, divorce is not a loss of love and feelings but instead the inability to cope with the rising conflicts and his/her poor problem-solving skills. I can't say much on this, until maybe I first understand the meaning of a marriage. Or maybe just let me finish the book and I'll see if I change this perception :))

Another Monday

I haven't had the time to cross out the 'Monday's over the past months. Today, it is a cold day! Not much rain, but wind that howled through the rustle of the leaves. The swaying and rustling somehow makes me feel that I'm living by the coast, by the sea. So breezy!

My feet went cold, it reminds me of winter when I wore socks all day long. Despite that, I had the fan on, cooling my poor feet even further. I can't explain, I just need some motion in the air!!

I've made great progress with my reading. Currently, my read is The Diary of a Young Girl - ANNE FRANK. You might have read it in your school days or it doesn't ring a bell at all? But it has got me there, the mind of a fourteen is so engaging. I'm left with a third to go, and I'll be proud to announce it's completed within a week. It is not a race against time, more of my mood for reading has returned.

In another perspective, I have seen myself more hardworking. Working hard to get things done, or at the least doing some planning, which I've been delaying for quite a while. Have to admit I hate the slow days where I had achieved nothing, I can feel I'm slowly regaining that restless energy.

Jobs did not seem favorable. An interview for freelance turned out to be something else, no full-time for me (now, here), please. Another time, I resorted to selling beer for an event, I haven't got any news on this one yet. Whether I get the job, it didn't matter too much, it is only a way of making the days go by quicker. By chance, I came across another freelance project, let's hope for the better!

I still dislike Monday, especially when it is dark, gloomy and giving me cold feet...

@ . @ Books crazed @ . @

Eversince stepping into UK, books never fail to fascinate me. I can spend hours in the bookstore. Blame it on Singapore not having most imported - oh well, the best are still out here. I was introduced to Taschen by my previous landlord back in London. He is/was a photographer and had his photos published on books by Taschen. I began to read the catalogue everytime it was sent to the house, and the next time I was in a bookstore, I would be scanning for this publisher. Not all of them are found in the stores... so sometimes it can be a hard catch!

In Berlin, I happened to come across one I was looking for. This one (part II). I'm seeking for its part I now... woohoo... browse the sample pages at the above website :)

Laugh at me!

It's laughable you created a wish list and you end up buying the stuffs for yourself. Or at least now I am doing it. Mmmm, or maybe it is supposed to work this way!!!

I've gotten another book, Man & wife, one which I had been searching high and low in the libraries. They are forever reserved by seemingly thousands of people whom didn't want to buy the book. Oh Tony Parson, you better be thankful I am not one of those now ;)

Randomness VII

I'm not going to be a lesbian, no way...

Seems like everything between me and a man is always going wrong. Are you forcing me to turn homosexual!!?? I'm counting how many disappointments I had in the past and it is still increasing. Men, suddenly, has became insignificant at this point in my life. Even a guy friend couldn't keep his promise for a scheduled dinner, what is the world turning into with all these men lacking time management skills?? The only reason for them is work. If work is entirely the reason to live for, life is a labour. Great, I'm giving up, it does seem like I hit it off much better with women anyway. Ha ha.

I had another free movie last night. Lord of The Rings - The Return of The King. Oh my, I haven't had the time to tell you right now about it, things I like about. Soon, soon, I promise. It does seem like this year is a great year for films. I've gone to the International film festival and french film festival. Darn, I missed the german's because it was only like a few days thing that arrived late on notice. Besides paying for all the films, I did get quite a number of free ones. To name those I can recall:

Italian job; Secretary; Wishing Stairs; Down with Love; Love Actually; The Butterfly; Lord of The Rings - The Return of the King.

Lucky, am I not?

And yes, I'm now in the mood for books. My hands are itching to buy some good reads, ah, been a long time! I hate the library because the popular titles are forever on loan. Just got one on my wish list actually, The Between Boyfriends Book! I'm going to hunt for more till the end of the month ;)