The new me

ADMINISTRATOR --- Submissive Extrovert Concrete Thinker

Like just 4% of the population you are an ADMINISTRATOR (SECT)--detail-oriented and organized. You're an extrovert, but you lack the over-aggressive tendencies of obnoxious "go-getters." Very nice. However, you probably like getting up in other people's business--living through them a little... dude, sometimes you just gotta let it ride. Don't be such a busy-body.

Anyway , you're an excellent manager, of both yourself and other people. That's because you prefer thinking concretely rather than creatively, and you'd rather follow what your mind tells you than your heart--people respect this, but it can make them mad when their appeals to love and kindness fall on deaf, deaf ears. Try to have a heart sometimes.

TheSpark's Personality Test

Back alive and limping

I'm back, I'm back, I'm back finally!!!!

I can't wait to share everything with you guys... felt so itching to get into an internet cafe and do some writing when I was there. But really, I got no spare time. Or really some spare money!! I came home with 10 bahts, which is singapore 43 cents. Oh my, I never expected a busier trip than this. I went there with no plans, but yet there are so much things I have done. I've taken some short videos (unfortunately I have no where to upload to show you guys) but there's lot of digital photos to compensate. Give me some time eh!

I'm back 6 hours ago. Still awake at 3am to write my blog, some people will think I'm crazy or .... (fill that up yourself)!! God, I want to write, he he. Anyway, I shall update all the other details soon. Just a small note to inform you guys, YES I'm home!

Thank you guys whom have been coming back.

a little bit of love,
trixy

Bangkok hot hot hot

Hello peeps. I'm up with new updates. Yeah, it's going to be long, make sure you're ready! I'll try not to bore you with too much details. Enjoy.

08/12/03 Bangkok Adventure 13/12/03

18 of us went Bangkok together. Personally, I'm not a group person really, it gets tedious having to wait for each other and doing group check in. My only kin are two cousins, M, P and uncle (M's dad), I've mentioned M and P before I guess. The rest of them are my uncles' friends, a whole bunch of old citizens.

Initially I felt as if I was travelling with a group of senior citizens, they are my parents' age or older. Somehow, it got easier as things went along. In fact, not as bad as it seemed. We had free food (my uncle paid) and group transportation with them, so... whatcha think!! There was this pair of old couple, comical pair and I really think they are funny. The only one thing I wasn't so comfortable with, is that we weren't allowed to explore alone. These nice old aunties and uncles were too protective of us - the young kids. Hey, but read on...

Day one: I arrived Bangkok in the afternoon. Bangkok is as hot as singapore, 23-32 degrees. However, its dry heat, low humidity and not sweaty. My first hotel stay seems exciting, oh well, first time in everything is, isn't it? I came with no research, no plan, no idea of what I was going to do over the next 4 days.

Day two: 9th December was a holiday in Bangkok. Strange, there was assumingly lesser traffic jam on a public holiday. The traffic was hectic. Every second you are on the road, you are in danger. The cars wouldn't look out for you, they wouldn't stop. Each road crossing was a life gamble!

The original floating market, something I heard of and didn't want to miss. Make sure you pop there if you make a trip to thailand. Its a cultural shock for people whom only live in cities with high-rise buildings. On the near 2 hours journey there, I witnessed lot of rural lifestyle and people selling off their harvest/stocks or whatever they produced by the roadside. The air constantly polluted by the passing vehicles, it is hard life. If you live in a city and considered yourself poor, could you imagine them living each day trying to earn some cash to keep life going... If you grumble too much about life, or do extravagant shopping, maybe you should think twice about that.

I couldn't possibly missed the national treasures of thailand, can I? Elephants... cleverly trained elephants, they could kick soccer better than some humans. Oh yes, and crocodiles' show, which I didn't find it fascinating anymore.

Day three: As the main purpose of the trip is to visit temples for praying, thanksgiving and donation, we had another long journey out of town to 3 different temples. I have been longing to see monks. Ya know, those with orange/yellow robes!! I've seen too much on tv. It was a new experience. I'm not a very religious person myself, yet it has been a good trip to be respectful and do some confessions.

Day four: I ventured out alone. Everyone else had long set off for another long distance travelling to temples out of town. Yes, I'm alone in bangkok! It seemed like they were pretty worried about me, afterall I couldn't speak thai, and it was an unsafe place for a gal to go around they reckoned. I'm 22 already, maybe they should trust me - I can take care of myself.

I ate my buffet breakfast alone before I stepped into the already warmed up Bangkok streets. I had to walk through this small lane before reaching the main road, which I hate it. I wandered around those unfamiliar places (ahh, didn't I say I'm curious about anything new). I discovered a shopping paradise, I was on my way to meet to two friends whom came to bangkok a day after me. So I made a quick browse at the places and brought my friends back. A big mistake, it costed a big hole in the pocket. I spend over a thousand bahts in there, well, if you convert to singapore dollars, it isn't that much really!!

Later we continued the sin in another shopping centre which I failed to cover it yesterday. I found a beads-sewed-on-denim hangbag I really fancy, it was such a task to bargain. But you have no choice, they marked up the prices too much. Yes, and a pair of heels. These things which I had been hunting for back in Singapore! God, shopping is a sin.

Darn, I missed the thai massage because I was nearly crippled by the shopping. Limping.

Day five: Finally! Finally. Finally. I swam in the hotel swimming pool, it was so much smaller than it seemed from a photo. We had 12 laps, but really short laps. I led my cousins out to Pratunam Market (which I shopped for a bit yesterday) since it was our last few hours before our coach arrived. Dang!!! Guess what?? My bikini hunting had finally came to an end, I spotted a black&white-floral-pineapple one. And it costs merely 10 singapore dollars!!! Woo.. I'm done with shopping.

By the way I also got a pair of thaiboxing shorts, believe me, they look incredible. Yes, I'm ready to go home, please.

p/s: For peeps whom are keen in the photos I've taken, they should be ready in less than 24 hours under my photo albums.

Thee Mr. Right

I attended my colleague's wedding on Saturday. A traditional Chinese dinner. Don't think of it as a pay-for-what-you-eat thing!!! For guys whom don't really understand the meaning and purpose of wedding dinners.

It was a lovely ceremony. I worked with V, the groom for some months. I didn't know him very well, but we seem to get along fine. He's a fine young chap, friendly and easy to work with. It was a surprise when he announced he was getting married. I was thinking,"Oh come on, how young are you!" But hey, he's 27 and doesn't look like it at all. It's a good age for blokes I reckon, a few years more for ideal couple world before starting to make little babies.

The dinner was held in the Grand ballroom of Grand Hyatt hotel. The atmosphere amazed me, the guests were proper people (people with reputation or somewhat), the decor classy. The groom was all dressed up, handsome one. He didn't seem nervous at all. I was waiting to take a peep at the bride. Their wedding photos shows them as a heavenly pair!!!

There were a lot of nice moments. We had a table for our company, everyone was stunning. And finally the ravishing bride came into the scene. With an Indian mixed Chinese percentage, she was alluring. Seriously, I couldn't find a more beautiful person that night... captivating smile... angelic pair of eyes...

Throughout the 8-course dinner, videos of them were continuously played. Blessing from friends, their eyes for each other, the wedding tea ceremony, and so much more... At one point, I was entirely moved. I wanted to cry, tears of happiness. They are so in love, and that power of love has touched me. For a second, I was wondering if ever I have that day when I will be feeling the same way!

~The magic of love, I hope it touches everyone at some point in his or her life~

1st sign of Love

~~~~~ A new lease of life ~~ plus a little sign of <3>

I was in the train, sitting on a corner seat. A little toddler, a little boy. He has marble-like eyes and such delicate features on his tiny round face. His mum held his hand, his other hand holding on to a pole right besides me... I've noticed him. Awww... I wish I can offer him sitting on my lap...

Out of a sudden, he touched my hand gently. He was too adorable to resist, I didn't pull my hand away. I held his little fingers, smiling at him. I could see his eyes staring straight at me, he wanted to speak to me. His mum pulled his hand away, feeling a bit embarrassed.

He tried to hold my hand a few more times... he's so so so cute!!!

Scrappin' it

I've been talking in my sleep. Now its my turn eh! I remember I was almost never told I had that tendency. It must have been this emotional chaos I've gotten into. But now it is finally over!!!

I opened my eyes this morning, awakened by the humidity in the room and my phone's message beeping tone. My mind was like a piece of clean chalkboard, everything dusted away. The night before is the only night I slept with no disturbing images in my head, with no more yearning for things that are gone. My eyes were dry. I kissed my softie penguin good night...

22 years behind me is now a history. I can smilingly signed off that phase of my life. Yesterday, I eventually managed to hand in my resignation letter to my very so busy boss. A very charming boss, which I will be sad to lose. Despite that, somehow I have cleared another burden in my life - the job. I've exactly no idea what's next, what's in line for me... it's not bothering me at all. I actually need a new life.

Porky left for US and Germany this morning. I have not been wanting to speak to him, it had been a difficult choice. And yesterday, it had to be the day. He still speak with that uncertainty and obliqueness in his words, forever. I'm very irritated with his indirectness, but for once I have to care for my own happiness. I'm over it!

It seems to have decided it was the day yesterday.

One sick week

I'm sick and empty.

I didn't write yesterday, I felt like a total mess... everything is out of control. It was then I actually got comfortable with writing out my emotions... yeah, in words!! More than words. My friends who got my confidential mail thought I had suicidal thoughts. That has never came across my mind, I think of death all the time, but not ending my life just because of failure, rejection or an obstacle. I wasn't very happy the day before, even I collected my long awaited blouse. I looked at it and for god's sake "will I ever wear this??" I was at my most irritable mood, I didn't feel like speaking. I just wanted to sleep it away. Falling asleep hasn't been so difficult like last night... it must have took me over 30 minutes to coax myself.

I woke up, believing that I'd have a better day ahead. I wanted to trash that blouse, but that would have sent my 60 dollars down the drain, so I confronted the shop owner. It was written "No refund No exchange". But I've custom-made something I'm not happy with. Reasonably, I got offered something else. Okay, I think I'm happier now.

The last call

God has answered my prayers and granted me a day off work. I was on MC yesterday, actually it felt contented to be ill, did you ever feel this way???

I'm back today and my manager, oh I should call him an asshole, welcomed me back with more work. Work that are redundant, I am not going to spare time to do useless things truthfully. So there, I'm sitting here doing the right things. He hasn't got enough of being mean, so he said,"What are you planning to do for that holiday over Xmas? Are you going anywhere for your leave? Ya' know we suddenly have one more site to finish before the end of the year... hmmm.. maybe.. maybe you would have to come back and work..." He gave me that pitiful look which I am not at all sympathetic with. I looked at his blackened face [as always] and goes "What, what the fuck are you talking about!!" in my head. Yes, yes, you can't manage your time properly, I'm not sitting here and clear that shit for you. I'm out. Wait for my letter on Monday!

And, yes this is me, and my attitude. I've not done anything wrong, have I?

Randomness VI

"Even the security guard and the cleaner are much more hospitable people..."

I had a sudden hesitation over my Bangkok trip. It is 2 weeks away. All of a sudden, I see myself lost in the bustling streets of Bangkok. No plan. No where to go. This random thought gave me a fright. I'm too tired to plan, to organise it properly. Maybe I should just go with the flow...

Somewhere deep inside me, I wish I am venturing all alone!!

My manager just said something I found it so so so...foul. He's the meanest person on earth, and now he has offended me. He is to suffer. He has no rights to deprive me of my holidays, and no rights to say,"If you can't finish by next week, you can't go for your holiday." I can't tolerate the days I have to face his blackened face. He should thank God that I had been at my most efficient to get things done for the last couple of months. I've gosh...14 days of MC I never had claimed even I was sick. And with my remaining off days that I wouldn't be able to cash it or sell it, now he's saying what seem like a threat. Doubting my capability and struggling with these last minute projects due to his incapacitation has got my blood boiling. He shall handle the consequences!

Even if he meant that as a joke, he has a fucked-up-crap sense of humour.

Everything is fraying my nerves, and leaving me in a chaos. I'm starting to question things... why haven't the shop called me to collect my blouse?? where have you gone?? why am I feeling sick?? when can I travel without worrying about money?? I'm leaving...

"Gan lan qiu"

We call Rugby "gan lan qiu" in chinese. My mum named it herself "Ka na kui" in hokkien, and maybe she's right. It does sound similiar when you try to translate. My mum has a funny theory behind, the rugby ball looks like a preserved fruit, that we called "Ka na". Olives, in case you're still searching your head for an answer.

I was watching the Rugby World Cup final 1700 on Saturday and my mum joined in. Australia vs England. Excellent match, though my colleague called it men-groping-men game, I had to dismiss the thought about them being homosexual. No offence I hope, to all rugby players & fans. ;) And oh yeah, Jonny Wilkinson was the hero... woo... horray for England!!

My mum, I call her a bizarre character now. Her little ideas crack me up. Here's an example. Look at this guardian pharmacy logo, she called it "Kar kui kui" in hokkien. Whenever she told me she was shopping at "Kar kui kui", I was like "what the hell is that!!" Later I saw she named it after the logo. "Kar kui kui" by the way, means "legs open wide" in english!!