9.5.06
Der Sandstrand
*I have a very chill out day at the beach (east coast) with my mate this afternoon... Laying on a towel, small enough to sit two bums... with a mini radio... a book in the hand... my experimental fish-eyed camera... oreo cookies, water... the sun is shining and not glaring... the playful weather teasing us with a few drops of rain now and then... the breeze so soothing that makes one sleepy... Just like a picnic. I particularly enjoy it when its not crowded. On a tuesday, you see students, couples, friends, people whom come alone to have a dip or swim or walking their dogs, army troops jogging... No tents pitched every 2 metres away, no big families having noisy BBQs... And the color of the sea, just like this*
6.5.06
Polling day in Singapore
It is the first time (so green!!) I get to vote... A little ignorant (but exciting) of what's going on, especially since not being here for over the last 1.5 year, not a very good excuse, but more that I am not so much into politics. I live in the east, so in my area I have to make a vote. Four persons out of five in my family are voting, my poor little sister is underaged to make her say. Got dragged out of bed this morning by mum to get to the polling centre, I soon realized I have an important decision to make - every vote counts, isn't it! On the TV now, the results are going to reveal in the next few hours... I am excited to see who's going to be in-charge of the area I am living in, as it has been under the same party for a while.
Are they going to stay, are we going to have major improvements in future, is there more things going to be done for our neighbourhood...
p/s: AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahh just saw a SABARU advertisement on TV, totally in German, how cool... I need to try harder to understand conversational german!!! Actually I just heard it in French and italian too! Loaned an italian phrase book to start "some fun learning" ;)
Are they going to stay, are we going to have major improvements in future, is there more things going to be done for our neighbourhood...
p/s: AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahh just saw a SABARU advertisement on TV, totally in German, how cool... I need to try harder to understand conversational german!!! Actually I just heard it in French and italian too! Loaned an italian phrase book to start "some fun learning" ;)
5.5.06
A mess outta a mess
That bubble burst...
I am prepared for the worst, so it didn't upset me too much. After all I have been through, what can a small rejection do to me.. Answer is "nothing". My dream job is perhaps not the job for me, maybe not now, maybe for forever... However, I am certain life has a lot to offer to me, I am still waiting to be guided into the right direction. Actually I am driving my own direction... I need more than just keeping fingers crossed, I need to keep myself focused and persevere and some luck, please!
27.4.06
Problematic men
I feel like pulling his hair... not mine!! When a man comes and talks to you about his pathetic problems, I thought I am supposed to listen and be supportive. I should refrain from giving advices or suggestions because they are not going to be appreciative of them... or they would want to prove themselves they are able to tackle it. So why are they complaining, obviously they need a listening ear, right? I listened... I tried to say something positive and kept it light-hearted... instead all I got was negative and offensive remarks. Why should I deserve them, you a****** Glyn! Yes, I am being optimistic but I don't see it as a sad thing, being a realist doesn't mean I have to be as pessimistic as you are - then why the hell are you telling me your problems?? Get support?? Or get someone to feel as miserable as you are. I don't think my life needs men like these...
26.4.06
What are your bad points??
I say, we know ourselves best... So we should be the ones understanding our own strengths and notice our own flaws! Am I right to say that?
But when we do hear it from someone else, it seems even more convincing... or at some point it hurts. Does it?? I thought I used be very sensitive to these, when all I wanted to hear was honest comments. Can you take it and accept them? I seem to be able to take it in better now. I reckon it's because I accept myself for what I am, I know my flaws and I want to work on them... and not just be upset and cry just because someone is disapproving or critical of me.
I also realise I tend to be very honest when I tell my friends how they are (or appear to me)... Too blunt, I wonder sometimes if they are offended. But I have also began to be more tactful as I think it has become important to recognize all people are different. Guess being too honest and blunt can be a flaw, isn't it?
But when we do hear it from someone else, it seems even more convincing... or at some point it hurts. Does it?? I thought I used be very sensitive to these, when all I wanted to hear was honest comments. Can you take it and accept them? I seem to be able to take it in better now. I reckon it's because I accept myself for what I am, I know my flaws and I want to work on them... and not just be upset and cry just because someone is disapproving or critical of me.
I also realise I tend to be very honest when I tell my friends how they are (or appear to me)... Too blunt, I wonder sometimes if they are offended. But I have also began to be more tactful as I think it has become important to recognize all people are different. Guess being too honest and blunt can be a flaw, isn't it?
21.4.06
The Art of Forgiving
I quoted this from about.com, and I find it an essential part of our life or at least it does have some meaning in mine!
"Forgiving is an essential element of successful relationships whether it is forgiving your date for being late, forgiving your husband for not remembering your birthday, forgiving your boss for not giving you the raise you deserve, or forgiving your mother for the name she chose for you at birth.
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.
It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss... Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.
Forgiving does not mean you will allow your spouse to continue to abuse you, or cheat on you, or make your life miserable. It means you look past the act and at the person. It means you forgive the personal weakness he or she is unwilling or unable to control.
Forgiving the actions of others helps to remove damaging anger and rage from within you."
How do you forget without forgiving?? Impossible. Below is another from www.coping.org.
"1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality.
8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared."
For the Christians and believers of God,
"Father God, I need your help and your insights. Today I have gained a better understanding of forgiving others and with your help, I fully forgive from my heart. Just as you have freely forgiven me, I forgive them. Father, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. I pray all of this in Jesus' precious name and by whom all forgiveness and healing was made possible. Thank you for loving me in ways I'll never comprehend. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Another extract from Martin Luther King's Strength to Love (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981)
"Probably no admonition of Jesus has been more difficult to follow than the command to love our enemies…Far from being the pious injunction of a Utopian dreamer, the command to love one’s enemy is an absolute necessity for our survival. Love even for our enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of our world…
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power."
"Forgiving is an essential element of successful relationships whether it is forgiving your date for being late, forgiving your husband for not remembering your birthday, forgiving your boss for not giving you the raise you deserve, or forgiving your mother for the name she chose for you at birth.
It's not always easy to forgive. But without forgiving, you will not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in you. Anger may put your entire relationship in jeopardy. With enough anger and rage inside yourself, you cause damage to other relationships in your life.
It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain of loss... Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh relationships. Without forgiving, you cannot truly mend a broken relationship.
Forgiving does not mean you will allow your spouse to continue to abuse you, or cheat on you, or make your life miserable. It means you look past the act and at the person. It means you forgive the personal weakness he or she is unwilling or unable to control.
Forgiving the actions of others helps to remove damaging anger and rage from within you."
How do you forget without forgiving?? Impossible. Below is another from www.coping.org.
"1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality.
8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared."
For the Christians and believers of God,
"Father God, I need your help and your insights. Today I have gained a better understanding of forgiving others and with your help, I fully forgive from my heart. Just as you have freely forgiven me, I forgive them. Father, I ask you to forgive me for hurting others out of my own hurt and to heal my relationships with others. I pray all of this in Jesus' precious name and by whom all forgiveness and healing was made possible. Thank you for loving me in ways I'll never comprehend. In Jesus' name, Amen."
Another extract from Martin Luther King's Strength to Love (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981)
"Probably no admonition of Jesus has been more difficult to follow than the command to love our enemies…Far from being the pious injunction of a Utopian dreamer, the command to love one’s enemy is an absolute necessity for our survival. Love even for our enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of our world…
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up. Love transforms with redemptive power."
20.4.06
Just a little more
It takes very little to hate, to be upset, to be offended, to be angry...
but it takes just a little more to forgive, to compromise, to accept and to be happy...
It takes very little to be evil, to be cruel, to be mean, to be nasty...
but it takes just a little more to be nice, to be kind, to be generous, to be magnanimous...
As one of Heraclitus Enigma says,
"It is disease that makes health pleasant,
hunger that makes fullness good,
weariness that makes rest sweet"
Failures make us enjoy success more,
setbacks make us wiser and stronger,
negative feelings make us appreciate positive ones,
Bitterness makes sweetness more intense.
I believe everything happened for a reason, and I want to never stop learning...
but it takes just a little more to forgive, to compromise, to accept and to be happy...
It takes very little to be evil, to be cruel, to be mean, to be nasty...
but it takes just a little more to be nice, to be kind, to be generous, to be magnanimous...
As one of Heraclitus Enigma says,
"It is disease that makes health pleasant,
hunger that makes fullness good,
weariness that makes rest sweet"
Failures make us enjoy success more,
setbacks make us wiser and stronger,
negative feelings make us appreciate positive ones,
Bitterness makes sweetness more intense.
I believe everything happened for a reason, and I want to never stop learning...
19.4.06
Live it up your dream
Looking at those people whom are successful with their life, leading the kind of life exactly they want it to be... We can probably imagine the hard work they have put in, some sacrifices in life they have done, etc...
There was an online chat going on with Ian Wright earlier on, he's a globetrekker. He has been hosting travel show and been travelling for 7 years, what a life!! Most of us would have chosen a job that coincides with our interest and pays us good money, but how many of us can do that I wonder. I was in the chatroom, enjoying the Q&A going on... In fact, I want to be like him, not a globetrekker but to be successful and be enjoying the job.
I am still waiting for a response. That little glimpse of hope hasn't disappeared... it might be diminishing as the days go by, but it will never die. My thinning patience is getting me down a little, or perhaps getting a little serious as I am too focused on my job hunt. I don't seem to have any tolerance for my friend whom has been telling me juicy gossip about this man or another, or even about helping her to make up her mind about her "further studies decision". I am just not interested now. I need to let go a little...
I have given up a few other job opportunities just so because I want to be able to pursue my dream job... and not be a contract-breaker, to be doing another job just for the sake of doing something.
I seem to be so self-absorbed. I need to open that little door and walk out into the garden. Imagine that spring is here, look at the flowers in blossom again, smile and dance in the open space... swing my arms and go in circles...
There was an online chat going on with Ian Wright earlier on, he's a globetrekker. He has been hosting travel show and been travelling for 7 years, what a life!! Most of us would have chosen a job that coincides with our interest and pays us good money, but how many of us can do that I wonder. I was in the chatroom, enjoying the Q&A going on... In fact, I want to be like him, not a globetrekker but to be successful and be enjoying the job.
I am still waiting for a response. That little glimpse of hope hasn't disappeared... it might be diminishing as the days go by, but it will never die. My thinning patience is getting me down a little, or perhaps getting a little serious as I am too focused on my job hunt. I don't seem to have any tolerance for my friend whom has been telling me juicy gossip about this man or another, or even about helping her to make up her mind about her "further studies decision". I am just not interested now. I need to let go a little...
I have given up a few other job opportunities just so because I want to be able to pursue my dream job... and not be a contract-breaker, to be doing another job just for the sake of doing something.
I seem to be so self-absorbed. I need to open that little door and walk out into the garden. Imagine that spring is here, look at the flowers in blossom again, smile and dance in the open space... swing my arms and go in circles...
17.4.06
2am, one night in April, Singapore
I stood by the living room window in the middle of the night (2am), I could smell the freshness of the green... Those pots of plants my dad keeps along the corridor gave me such a refreshing feeling at this hour. It made me missed the usual rain that sometimes comes at night. I could vividly recall one of the nights, it rained very heavily accompanied by thunder and lightnings. Those thunder never fails to make me shuddered, however I begin to miss them now. I want to smell the essence of the rain, I want that splattering sound to ease me into my sleep...
16.4.06
1 last piece
I'm a piece of Oreo cookie, the very last one. What can you imagine doing to me... I have myself thinking big - I like an Oreo cheesecake, a mouth-watering Oreo milkshake, or even a cold treat of cookie and cream ice-cream... But one last piece isn't sufficient for a big task, isn't it? Why don't I just do the normal way, twist it, lick it and dunk it!! Dip into the milk and munch it all up... I am just two pieces of chocolate biscuit sandwiched with cream, but I can be a cookie with a dream and cream, why not!
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