Apprehension

ap·pre·hen·sion
n.
1. Fearful or uneasy anticipation of the future; dread.
2. The act of seizing or capturing; arrest.
3. The ability to apprehend or understand; understanding.

This is the perfect word to describe the moment. Two very ironical meanings (1. & 3.) but yet it is exactly that - right now, this moment, this instant. I'm trying hard to apprehend (3.) yet that apprehension (1.) is just so intimidating... I am holding back and still trying very hard to do things I will not be regretting. "Regrets" is a strong word, and I won't want it to be part of my life.

I am too good at expressing my thoughts bluntly and sometimes I wonder if that's a bliss?? And sometimes I wish I didn't say things on impulse because it could mean the opposite of what I wanted them to be. On other times, I want to be as subtle as possible but they just won't get it, in fact they don't even realise it was supposed to be a hint.

Communication. Is it that difficult or only the open minded are able to handle them??