Not just sunlight, but sunshine... the light that is giving me hope!
It has been over a week... the mental torture is yet to be over. However, I am feeling exceptionally better than I thought I would be which is a good thing. A lot of random thoughts have been screening through my head...
Like the Bonsai he has bought, I feel like the dying plant. Dealing with a living thing which is best survived in warm temperature with lot of sunlight, can be such a challenge in the very cold Germany (ah, in winter). Within two weeks we had the Bonsai, it has dried up, its leaves curled to a crisp as though it will fall just the moment your finger comes in touch with it. I tried to read up forum looking how to save the poor little thing, it always give me hope that it will soon regain to its healthy and blooming state. But for a month, it did not improve... We continue to water it wishing a miracle will happen, but it never does... and probably never ever will...
Like it, I am withering... Unlike it, I never knew I would never be saved again... Looking at its leaves, my heart is also deteriorating... curling and drying up.
I always thought ending up with a man who couldn't speak the fluent native English will never pose a big problem... I thought love language speaks louder than a real language... I thought a man whom didn't like Durians and Frog-leg porridge would be more open to other things than just food... I thought he would be more interested in my culture than I would in his... I thought understanding my Singlish has already meant accepting me... I thought doing things together show that how much fun we could have together... I thought his friends do not have to be Mine as well... He thought my friends should be his as well... He always think I am thinking like how he has assumed... I always thought that he could understand me better...
There are too much assumption and ideal, but unfortunately reality doesn't work the way you always see it to be.
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