Yes, I am once single again. It is not if I haven't been for a long time before I got into this relationship. How would I describe this emotional turmoil I am undergoing - two words --> Intense pain. It felt like I've gotten a terminal disease, and it was utterly hopeless. I don't wish to explain further, but if you would have understood the situation when it happened... probably you could imagine being in my shoes.
In the first 3 days, I have been through what most women would do - yes, cry it out. I have been fortunate enough to have supportive friends even though they weren't physically there with me. In a week, I have come to terms with it. There always have been a lot of doubts about where I was heading, how things would be... It did kind of lift off those loads now, I feel that both of us are much relieved.
About leaving the man I still love, it still takes a few more times of heart shattering. It is impossible to forget those time we have had, to erase the fantasy we once built, to take away mixture of hurt and love. I only wish that God has made this arrangement in the fairness of both our happiness and I believe that He has.
To the man I love:
I believe that you're a God-send whom has helped me through the most difficult time in my life, I'm grateful and shall always bear in mind that no other being has been as close to me as you have. There have been lot of times I felt I could have done more but I didn't, I am still holding back. I still do not understand why I was doing that, perhaps things were meant to go this way no matter how hard we have tried. The future has a separate plan for both of us and I do wish the best things will happen. No matter how faraway we are going to be from each other, I will never be able to find a replacement in my heart for the person whom you are and whom I love. Many warm hugging love from ME.
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