Occasionally I was left wondering what to fill up this empty box with. Most of the time, it came naturally and I feel the need to pen it down. Other times, I rather click around and bring myself to random blogs. People I do not know, people I rather not know, people I do not feel the need to know. And it actually became a joy to enjoy their writings. Some very similiar to mine, some totally different, some very fresh idea, or even some that can possibly make me feel touched, emotional or left me searching for the same feeling.
I'm alone in the room, somewhere I never feel my itching can be getting better. With the usual women's thing, my ruined mood due to my recurring skin allergy, I'm swallowing my self-pity to be indoor on a Wednesday night. In less than a week, my beloved has to fly home. More than 6000km away. Yet now, I can't make his time more enjoyable being struck by an unknown irritant, I'm feeling down for him and partly for myself.
I surprised myself time and time again. That impatience, losing control, being easily provoked... What has become of me?? I tried to reflect on myself only realizing deep down I can be such a monster. Can I see things in another perspective, take things lightly, stop scrutinizing... I think I can, I think I need to do that. Why has all this grown on me, so suddenly, like a fungus attack!!
My physical state now is ruthlessly savaging my emotions, especially the happy hormones! I guess I need to do something about it...
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