Der Mann

I want to cry, but I can't. I want to send him mushy SMS, but I refuse. I want to know if coming here is the right thing, but I don't know.

Where is the trust I used to have? Where is that faith I always carry?

Is a single life better? Or is a relationship with doubts worth carrying on?

I really have no idea, not even the slightest hint when I'm writing this entry. I'm just blindly typing, keying what's on my mind. How can a man be contented in a relationship?? When can he stop looking and says "Yes, I'm willingly to commit when I'm with you." Can he stop doing things to make himself more desirable to other girls? Can he stop having sex chats online!? Is he willingly to admit he's in a relationship to other attractive women out there? If an answer to any question above is a "No", is he still a nice guy?

I'm wondering what has this world come to... why are there divorces, broken marriage, affairs, cheating, mistress. Why has men learnt to become evil? Why has they turned more greedy and never be contented with what they have?

Even though he is still acting as loving to me, my river of affection has stopped to flow. Like a dam built up to keep the water back! Like a train screeching to a complete halt! I'm covering myself with a shield before the enemies come...

Is there a day I'll be totally sweep off by a man??