I feel so ugly... I was in tears when someone said I'm not. You know there are time that we feel so bad about ourselves (yes, women -- we are talking about that now!). I don't know, some women might feel good all the time or look good all the time, but I can't. I can see that I am not... or at least half the time I think I'm not feeling proud! No no, don't go about how cute you think I am... but there is an actual fact women are never satisfied or always inferior when you see something better. Ok, mmm yes, when you see someone better out there. Or even not, arghh, I guess I must be feeling horrible about myself right now!
And now I find that someone who doesn't see that ugliness in me... its actually very consoling. I feel so comfortable being naked (I mean without "make-up") around him. He doesn't seem to notice my flaws (or maybe he just doesn't want to mention), yet I constantly am bugged by them myself - mentally!! I'm obsessed about how physically unattractive I'm getting... ok, call it deteriorating!! Every time I look at this person, I can imagine everyone else is certainly more worthy for him. I don't mean I don't have my self-confidence at all, but it dropped tremendously when it all (or should I say he) seems too good to be true.
Everything that is happening today is a dream come true! Yes, I am happy!! I have many expectations and I've realized them through him. I see myself being nice (ok, the truth is I've always try to be nice if you're nice), but now this is done without condition - without you having to be the nice one first! I can't ask God for someone better, but maybe do my face a little good. Stop producing me pimples! Yes, why me???! when other bitchy people get the baby skin!!
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?? Yeah, I'm crazily in lurrrvvvee...
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