All is fucked

Unhappiness.

I feel like I have suddenly become a dog trainer... learning to train disobedient dogs and bearing with their nonsense behaviour --- just like Marley in "Marley & Me". Read between the lines.

Things have changed. Good thing is I'm half way into it and there isn't much time left. You can sense it, see it and feel it (from me), because I hate to hide my true feelings. I hate cowardice and I can't tolerate it in myself or others... Many people told me "Hang in there", "Ignore them", "Try to make things better", but in fact sometimes it is not in my control. I have been tolerating, and my patience is already being put to an extreme test... and if I haven't I would have banged on the table like someone else had.

How long more? How much more? I know you're training my endurance but you know there's a limit.