The end is here

Tell me how should I feel during the last night here... the last 24 hours... I can't seem to feel it, even though the night before I could feel the wetness trickling down the side of my face... I am scared... But it is not showing. I am going to be excited but it is not coming. Today it snows and I know it is probably my last time watching it fall in Germany till... forever... The music I listen... are reflecting a lot of how I feel. The time spent on packing is coming to an end... and soon I will be in London. Not along after, I will be home... I am confused how I should even feel. Hour by hour... minute by minute... second by second, I try not to think about it. But I know it is coming. It is... sooner than I thought, faster than I expected, quicker than I could even dream. I wonder how I will feel... I wonder if I will cry... I wonder if I know what loneliness is... I wonder if the heart is still calling.