Why we argue?

I am reading this psychological book revolving around arguments between couples. Okay, I didn't get this because I was seeking for some help on my relationship. In fact, the title captured my attention for a longer than three-seconds span and so I decided to add to my borrowing list.

I've only read the first two chapters but on a busy day like today (I'm a quick reader I think). It's describing about scenarios where partner blames each other for a specific arising quarrel. All just because of our "preconception" (you might want to look this up in a "medical" dictionary?). Why do some couples fight so often, argue so much or feel so miserable in a relationship?? (I feel like a psychologist now!!)

Most of the time, they come from within - emotions. There is no right or wrong in most situations, because each of us look at a particular thing in our own perception. We make our assumption, accusation and conclusion - with our own mindset of course. So how often are we right?? When we start pointing finger, we didn't consider how we could have directed that negative feeling (frustration, anxiety, sadness, etc) into something more constructive. And of course, it takes two hands to clap.

Coming back to me, I don't think I want to elaborate on my own experiences. But these did happen, and today we have resolved that without this book. I'm pretty eager to finish reading, I wonder if my little childhood ambition of becoming a psychologist would have turned me into one if I followed that dream.

And to me, divorce is not a loss of love and feelings but instead the inability to cope with the rising conflicts and his/her poor problem-solving skills. I can't say much on this, until maybe I first understand the meaning of a marriage. Or maybe just let me finish the book and I'll see if I change this perception :))