His Departure

"I feel..." Just as I was about to begin writing, the rubber band snapped again. It never seem to be able to withstand the weight, of my ponytail. It has occurred so often that I can't be bothered somehow. I just replaced it with another one, until probably the day the last one snaps, it must be time to substitute it with a better option.

It stirred up a sandstorm inside me. Should I even say all over me? The allergy did not go away, today it is worse than before, I can see them from my arm to my wrist, my neck and my chin. The following day after his departure, I slept my day away, only waking up to satisfy that hungry stomach. I felt listless, hopeless, aimless and almost all of the negative that I haven't been experiencing for a long time since. My family already diagnosed that I'm lovesick, I am not even so sure of that.

I know I miss him. Together with that, I am missing a lot. He is in Germany now, and that very fact has constantly been haunting me with more images from my memories - the time I had spent there. Just like any other long-distance relationship, it must have felt the same. I was not only bugged by the distance, his absence but also the unknown timing that our smiles will finally meet again.

I forced myself out of bed slightly past 1030, I was awoke at 0830 but I decided to reward myself a little more rest. Unlike the day before, I actually have a better motivation to get around to things. Changing the bedsheet that might be triggering that allergy, updating with the current affairs, looking out for temporary jobs, and see myself getting around to do my tax claim for United Kingdom!

That distance is not going to kill us anymore, so is the cultural difference. I guess I should be willing to be placed behind his studies for now, to see him completing it without any hassle. As for me, I am trying to figure out where my passion lies, where my capability can bring me to, and what I should be doing in the coming months.

I want to be as positive as I was in London, even in a place where my heart is yearning for elsewhere. This is not as easy as I thought...