Family affection

I heard Asians have a closer bond with their families compared to Caucasians. Like the Malays, Chinese and Indians, we do many things together as a family, have regular gatherings or meals as a whole. But today, I'm beginning to see this sinking into the quicksand.

I look and observe the people around me, where is the respect we have for one another? In my immediate and extended families for e.g. I'm already experiencing everyone shouting at one another. My mum screams at my dad for the slightest thing, and my dad never change for the better. Who is to blame?? My sister calls people nasty names and her mood is more unpredictable than the weather. My other sister does not value the important of family ties as much. Me?? I was also this ignorant girl with my very own attitude when I left. I had much affection for this family that never surfaced due to the fact that everyone of us were so different. Our affection is expressed only in a harsh or indirect way, verbally. Why did any of us not say a word of love (e.g. I love u dad)?? Why not?? Why are we Chinese brought up with better family values but not expressing it together with affection? Or maybe there are people out there, but a minority. Money is so important, "face" is more valuable than being openly affectionate.

Today I return after witnessing how my friends' families in Britain and Germany live their lives separately but still with growing love for each other. I can't say they are better than us, but obviously it is never a bad thing to learn from other cultures.

Is it not a better lifestyle that everyone of us move out and be independent?? I think of my sister whom is older and still not knowing how to wash her own clothes, still not learning how to cook a proper meal (even rice), still depending on my mum on the house chores. Suddenly I felt a sense of relief that I have already learnt to stand on my two feet. I need not only pick up those skills after I get married, have a own house and an own family. I understand the importance of filial piety in our Chinese society, but I still see the need for us to crawl out of the shell, to leave the nest to know how to take care of ourselves before we can even take proper care of our parents.

I don't know how to love being at home with so much "hidden love". Sigh.