Where thee heart lies???

Sitting here for a moment, I try to figure out my future ahead. It's 2005. It's new, fresh and a beginning... yet I'm left pondering what's next. This is my life, I'm currently patting my tummy with satisfaction to the distance I've came to.

2 weeks more and I will be home. Do I want to go home, do I wish to go home?? Do I like to stay here, do I think I can stay here?? I have no idea. That fear of returning home has since evaporated, the desire to stay put is slowly diminishing.

What is more important? Friends, family, money, career or love?? I can't seem to distinguish what should be my priority now? What is my immediate goal? Can I give up something for another?? Should I pursue what the society deems to be right or what my heart is telling me? My heart is not saying anything, it's beating silently.

For once, I felt like I'm standing in front of a crossroad again. Before I left for London, I chose what my heart said and I never regretted. This time, I need to make another decision again. I'm getting tired, or am I catching up with my age... Why do I feel so old?? Changes are good even though I'm exhausted every time it modified a part of me or my lifestyle. Am I reverting to the old boring Trixy again, Oh no... I wouldn't want that!

I'm touching my forehead checking for a temperature. Am I sick? What is coming over me? I'm feeling just a little lost, besides that I think I'm all right. A short break back home in Singapore might be do me good, I hope it will soon dawn on me where's the next place I'm setting my foot into.

~ i need some vitamins ~