I didn't write yesterday, I felt like a total mess... everything is out of control. It was then I actually got comfortable with writing out my emotions... yeah, in words!! More than words. My friends who got my confidential mail thought I had suicidal thoughts. That has never came across my mind, I think of death all the time, but not ending my life just because of failure, rejection or an obstacle. I wasn't very happy the day before, even I collected my long awaited blouse. I looked at it and for god's sake "will I ever wear this??" I was at my most irritable mood, I didn't feel like speaking. I just wanted to sleep it away. Falling asleep hasn't been so difficult like last night... it must have took me over 30 minutes to coax myself.
I woke up, believing that I'd have a better day ahead. I wanted to trash that blouse, but that would have sent my 60 dollars down the drain, so I confronted the shop owner. It was written "No refund No exchange". But I've custom-made something I'm not happy with. Reasonably, I got offered something else. Okay, I think I'm happier now.
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