This Valentine's

I have something to share - a quote that we have always seen it around. Always said easier than done, isn't it? 

I didn't know that someone 6 years back could actually make me realise this. (All the other blokes between now and then didn't seem to come any close.) Seeing him happy now made my day. Those years apart, like a quote says,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"... I thought of him from time to time, wondered how he was getting on.

When we finally reconnected this year, a day before Valentine's Day, I feared. I feared of those feelings he would stir up in me. I asked questions which I dreaded to know the answers. His answers didn't make me tear or give me a shock, he still listens and cares. Like 6 years ago. Perhaps he just wasn't meant to be part of my life, but I thank God for him coming into my life and the fond memories we once shared.

I know I have let him go. I am proud of the strength You gave me. I hope we have renewed it this time with a friendship that will last, speaking again to someone I once cared so much about is a huge consolation in my life.

Here's a page I found, tremendously useful to help you let go of someone. I also realised I have done all the suggestions on the part 2 of the article! Also a tip of caution I have quoted from the page I fully agree with -
"Don't make someone a priority only to find out you are an option to them."

A different CNY

This is the first Chinese New Year in years I can remember that I didn't visit my "grandma's house". She passed away last June. So technically, it's not "grandma's house" anymore but my uncle's. Things just do not feel the same anymore.

I often wonder what's the most important value in kinship, most people around me place their emphasis on money over love. So many families break up because of money, inheritance and greed. It became the same at home, money is a sign of filial piety. Without them, there is no love.

When grandma was still around, my uncle's wife made everyone else contributed money to pay for the maids in her house, because she said she hired them for grandma. But they never took care of her well, she fell a couple of times and became bedridden. Still she only cared about money and the expenses grandma incurred. She is obviously way wealthier than everyone else in the family but like the rich, the wealthier they are, the tighter their wallets become.

This Chinese New Year I spent it chilling at home, while the rest of the family went over to uncle's place. Many others skipped because according to some traditions, the "sons in the family" weren't allowed to celebrate the festival. So the uncles could not give out "ang pao" but the aunties (like my mum) could. Due to this, I didn't get to see everyone this time unlike the past years. But we had open house twice over the two weekends where aunties, uncles and cousins popped over. I think it will be the same the coming years.

Despite the quiet celebrations, I welcome the year of Horse and may the new year starts with good wealth and propserity come galloping through. On the side note, the little sister finally found her ideal job after two years. There is hope as long as you persevere, I say! I am happy for her and am hoping the same for me soon!