As I get older... my holidays are becoming less planned.
When I started out, I would fill each day to the brim... then slowly I decided to let go of some time to be "whatever that comes along"... and now I simply have nothing planned unless something is specifically happening on that day and I want to attend it. The rest is flexible. When I email about tour or visit, they would urge me to book because it would be "sold out" they claim. Isn't that always the case... I'm beginning to take it as a pinch of salt and have others as back up. Life should have options, right? :)
The parents are still worried. Their idea of Thailand is Bangkok. They do not understand the proximity, they do not know Chiang Mai to Bangkok is over an hour's flight. It's hard to convince them and it's harder to leave. Guess we need to make a call home. How do the parents in the western countries whom make their kids at 18 move out understand this, I wonder?
p.s: The holiday - It's tomorrow!
26.10.11
23.10.11
Celebrations of life
Today I attended two celebrations of life. One totally opposite of the other. While one celebrates the birth of a child, the other celebrates the end of journey for another.
I feel so tired now, it's tough to be feeling so happy in the day and then swing to the extreme end in the evening. It aches to see a friend being so upset, and then us being helpless. I would never be able to put myself in her shoes, to know that feeling of losing your child, your own blood and flesh. The monster, cancer, is ruthless. I have lost cousin, auntie and uncle all to cancer... and once again, it hits someone again. I hate this thing called illness, if life invents such things, they should give us cures. If there's a will, there's a way, but it seems like there's none in this case. The little Char has fought so hard for her life, yet you never gave her another chance? I hope she's at peace now, no longer suffering. It was more painful to see her living on oxygen tank and bleeding from the tumours.
I feel so tired now, it's tough to be feeling so happy in the day and then swing to the extreme end in the evening. It aches to see a friend being so upset, and then us being helpless. I would never be able to put myself in her shoes, to know that feeling of losing your child, your own blood and flesh. The monster, cancer, is ruthless. I have lost cousin, auntie and uncle all to cancer... and once again, it hits someone again. I hate this thing called illness, if life invents such things, they should give us cures. If there's a will, there's a way, but it seems like there's none in this case. The little Char has fought so hard for her life, yet you never gave her another chance? I hope she's at peace now, no longer suffering. It was more painful to see her living on oxygen tank and bleeding from the tumours.
21.10.11
Thanks bugger
Some bugger decided to establish friendship with all my contacts today... Even my blog is a victim, as it sent an email that automatically created a post here - deleted now.
My hotmail account has been compromised. I hope all my friends are smart enough not to open it. But I have a stupid sister, LOL. I can't believe she clicked on the link, no wonder her computer always goes bonkers, because she clicks on every single stupid thing people send her. It's not entirely a bad thing, so it made me change my password which I haven't for probably 14 years?? It went around saying hello to my friends and reported which emails are not working because they got bounced. Then it also made some of my friends replied or sent me a SMS asking me what I sent them! Busy day huh.
My hotmail account has been compromised. I hope all my friends are smart enough not to open it. But I have a stupid sister, LOL. I can't believe she clicked on the link, no wonder her computer always goes bonkers, because she clicks on every single stupid thing people send her. It's not entirely a bad thing, so it made me change my password which I haven't for probably 14 years?? It went around saying hello to my friends and reported which emails are not working because they got bounced. Then it also made some of my friends replied or sent me a SMS asking me what I sent them! Busy day huh.
19.10.11
A whole new chapter
Suddenly, I decided to wipe it all off and have a fresh start. Yes, my blog.
I have recently reached a new phase of my life and decided this blog should do the same too. New color. New title. New background. New template. New font. New image. The content remains, as I do want to leave a trail and look back later.
So how do you like this? :)
I have recently reached a new phase of my life and decided this blog should do the same too. New color. New title. New background. New template. New font. New image. The content remains, as I do want to leave a trail and look back later.
So how do you like this? :)
7 more days...
The map is snapped from Thailand Tourism website today. Seems like the waters have left the north and seriously hitting the central and south. I hope Bangkok is shielded from the floods.
I also happened to be reading Chiang Mail Mail and know of this festival - Thailand International Balloon Festival. It's taking place on November 25 - 27... I was even thinking of going there for a second time if I really enjoy it till I remember there's a wedding dinner on the 26!!! Shucks.
Oh well, maybe next year??? :)
I have read and heard many wonderful things about the city and am pretty sure it would be a very pleasant trip minus the rain! It's also coming winter for them and the weather would be slightly over or under 20°.... YAY I love such temperature!
17.10.11
Crackling nails
Shimmering tomato red, topped with Nubar V-men matte coat and then China Glaze silver crackle.
Stop the water!
Thailand is badly flooded... but I still want to go to Chiang Mai. Nothing has changed my mind yet unless the flights are cancelled due to the travel warnings. Fingers crossed that things will get better in a week's time!
16.10.11
Aww...
My heart is feeling warm and snugly...
These weeks I have caught up and spoken to many friends I don't often see. I have also talked to my (about there!!) 10 years old online friend, from my yahoo/ICQ days. Geez, from the time he worked in Singapore to now a married man with 2 kids, moved to Australia then now Hong Kong. Amazing thing, internet is. A long email from someone I drew inspiration from. I do like getting written to, I wrote a lot to others but not as much these days. It's so difficult to find people who can maintain an ongoing email conversation these days. I met quite a few since the internet era started... but to be honest, very very few or almost none lasted. It would be a great few years, sometimes even with people I never gotten to meet, but it's fine. An online friendship is sometimes supposed to be kept at that. Also my dear friend called from the UK, thanks to the free app we get on the phones these day!! I haven't spoken to her for ages and it was great laughing and chatting like the olden days :) I used to pay so much to get calling cards to call to Germany... if only the technology was this advanced.
Talking to people keeps me sane.
These weeks I have caught up and spoken to many friends I don't often see. I have also talked to my (about there!!) 10 years old online friend, from my yahoo/ICQ days. Geez, from the time he worked in Singapore to now a married man with 2 kids, moved to Australia then now Hong Kong. Amazing thing, internet is. A long email from someone I drew inspiration from. I do like getting written to, I wrote a lot to others but not as much these days. It's so difficult to find people who can maintain an ongoing email conversation these days. I met quite a few since the internet era started... but to be honest, very very few or almost none lasted. It would be a great few years, sometimes even with people I never gotten to meet, but it's fine. An online friendship is sometimes supposed to be kept at that. Also my dear friend called from the UK, thanks to the free app we get on the phones these day!! I haven't spoken to her for ages and it was great laughing and chatting like the olden days :) I used to pay so much to get calling cards to call to Germany... if only the technology was this advanced.
Talking to people keeps me sane.
15.10.11
Omamori
Omamori are Japanese amulets... and I have just received the third one as a gift. I just wiki-ed it and realised its said it should be replaced once a year and the old ones should be returned to the temple. How am I going to send them back?? I guess I would retire them in a box.
When one of my good friends was flying, she brought me back one. One that would bless me in getting my wishes fulfilled. It's bigger than the others I have, with chinese characters sewn on it. Then when another friend of friend living in Japan first got back to Singapore, he gave me another, pink with a goat sewn on it and a tiny golden bell. I had no idea why I was the receipient as we weren't that close but he said he felt that I was the right person to have it. I guess it was wrong because somehow it lost me shortly. I was devastated as it was a gift and exceptionally cute. That one was meant for love, and it probably wasn't meant to be.
Last year during my trip to Taiwan, I also got myself one (similar to the Omamori) from a Chinese temple in Tainan. It's not free, you have to buy it from the counter and have it blessed in the temple by circling it around the pot of joss sticks. I don't know what it was specifically meant for, but most of them are used to ward off bad luck, so I guess no harm getting one!
Few days ago, I met my ex-colleague, a feisty young lady. I was surprised when she passed one to me, because friends whom seem to go Japan would just get that for me. This one also had chinese characters sewn on it, pink with a tiny bell and in a petite size. It's also meant for love :) Well, let's see if this works, I have to keep it well this time.
I also received this box of Original Tokyo Banana. Many thanks to Cheryl. I tried the chocolate version which is delicious but it seems like its no longer in production now. They now have the caramel version which I am not a big fan of. I still prefer the chocolate one. They are very similar, banana shaped cake with banana cream (made from real banana). Give it a try when you're in Japan!
When one of my good friends was flying, she brought me back one. One that would bless me in getting my wishes fulfilled. It's bigger than the others I have, with chinese characters sewn on it. Then when another friend of friend living in Japan first got back to Singapore, he gave me another, pink with a goat sewn on it and a tiny golden bell. I had no idea why I was the receipient as we weren't that close but he said he felt that I was the right person to have it. I guess it was wrong because somehow it lost me shortly. I was devastated as it was a gift and exceptionally cute. That one was meant for love, and it probably wasn't meant to be.
Last year during my trip to Taiwan, I also got myself one (similar to the Omamori) from a Chinese temple in Tainan. It's not free, you have to buy it from the counter and have it blessed in the temple by circling it around the pot of joss sticks. I don't know what it was specifically meant for, but most of them are used to ward off bad luck, so I guess no harm getting one!
Few days ago, I met my ex-colleague, a feisty young lady. I was surprised when she passed one to me, because friends whom seem to go Japan would just get that for me. This one also had chinese characters sewn on it, pink with a tiny bell and in a petite size. It's also meant for love :) Well, let's see if this works, I have to keep it well this time.
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| Original Tokyo Banana with Omamori |
I also received this box of Original Tokyo Banana. Many thanks to Cheryl. I tried the chocolate version which is delicious but it seems like its no longer in production now. They now have the caramel version which I am not a big fan of. I still prefer the chocolate one. They are very similar, banana shaped cake with banana cream (made from real banana). Give it a try when you're in Japan!
Is NO in your dictionary?
Thanks Yus for steering me back to the right track. I admit that my recent posts aren't probably the easiest to digest, probably due to the surroundings I'm living in. I just want to write one more ranting entry.
I really don't understand why I have such people around me... I'm normally pretty tolerant but too much is over the board. Is it hard to say NO? If yes, learn to say it because even a kid can say that. I sometimes prefer talking to my male friends because they are less wishy washy, more straight to the point.
Let me cite you some of the most ridiculous or very selfish examples:
"I can't hang out late tonight, because it's the hungry ghost festival right now." -- seriously will the ghost eat you up?
"Can we meet here because it's easy FOR ME to go home later?"
"Can we meet that day because everyone else is not free FOR ME that day?"
"I can't go out because my mum is asking me to do this... blah"
It is sometimes valid to say that, if someone else is not free for you, it is OK to arrange it with another person. But sometimes agreeing to someone and later coming up with stupid excuses is too much. Don't agree, if you don't have the intention to keep your words! Worse - if you always think you have a valid excuse and you're not in the wrong.
Would you die just admitting?
"Hey, that's a bit far for me!"
"I am lazy to go."
"I'm not in the socializing mood to hang out."
"I am busy."
Very simple, no?
If you know I'm talking about you, take note that honesty works with me. I will NOT cry just because you can't go, I'm asking you because I do feel like you would be a great company. If not, no big deal, and it pisses me off with your RUBBISH excuses.
I really don't understand why I have such people around me... I'm normally pretty tolerant but too much is over the board. Is it hard to say NO? If yes, learn to say it because even a kid can say that. I sometimes prefer talking to my male friends because they are less wishy washy, more straight to the point.
Let me cite you some of the most ridiculous or very selfish examples:
"I can't hang out late tonight, because it's the hungry ghost festival right now." -- seriously will the ghost eat you up?
"Can we meet here because it's easy FOR ME to go home later?"
"Can we meet that day because everyone else is not free FOR ME that day?"
"I can't go out because my mum is asking me to do this... blah"
It is sometimes valid to say that, if someone else is not free for you, it is OK to arrange it with another person. But sometimes agreeing to someone and later coming up with stupid excuses is too much. Don't agree, if you don't have the intention to keep your words! Worse - if you always think you have a valid excuse and you're not in the wrong.
Would you die just admitting?
"Hey, that's a bit far for me!"
"I am lazy to go."
"I'm not in the socializing mood to hang out."
"I am busy."
Very simple, no?
If you know I'm talking about you, take note that honesty works with me. I will NOT cry just because you can't go, I'm asking you because I do feel like you would be a great company. If not, no big deal, and it pisses me off with your RUBBISH excuses.
12.10.11
Brrr.rrr.. make my toes glow!
I bought this during my birthday and decided to try it out. China Glaze's It's Alive on my toes. I also added the Ghoulish Glow that didn't seem to do anything :( No glowing toe nails!!! But I do like the green glitter, not a glitter fan nor fan of green color usually. I also love the Ruby Pumps. the red glitter a lot.
Now now, that gives me an idea.. what a nice combination for Christmas!
30 years and 5 days old
My blues have gone hiding. Social life seems to peak. Suddenly old things resurfaced, the good and the bad things, the things I do not wish to see, the people I dread of seeing... it all came back. All at once. I'm slightly overwhelmed tonight. I was bored at work, routine has kicked in and sometimes I'm asking myself, "How much longer?" How much longer to stay in an office job...? Is it my kind of life? Perhaps I just need a holiday. Then I will settle back in, enjoy Christmas, welcome a new year and then begin to detest routine setting in once more. I have to endure, I have a trip to America next year and it's going to need a lot of cash! Situations. Why do situations always set a limit to our happiness and freedom?
7.10.11
The day is today
I thought it would be easy to embrace it... but it's not.
I am feeling the blues. I am feeling that age is not just a number. I am wondering at 30, what kind of life I want to lead in near future... Suddenly, I am not very pleased with what I was contented with. Is this an age thing or I haven't truly found what I wanted.
My job is starting to bore me especially when I feel that I am short changed by my colleagues in the UK. Why am I always helping them and no one's helping to cover my tasks? Why am I always thrown all the shit work they do not want to handle, even if its just a very simple request and require not much effort? Why am I always finishing my tasks so soon and theirs stay in there for days, even weeks when it doesn't take hours to do. Why do I always need to write emails like I'm writing to dummies? If they do not hire people with common sense, then why hire them? I stood up for myself yesterday when they threw me two more tasks, and so they took it back. They obviously could handle it. Do they think we "Asians" are more diligent and can take more "shit" without voicing out? I am not swallowing that.
Suddenly being 30, I see myself asking myself what I really want to do. I want to be doing something I enjoy, not being promised whatever that can't be met. I envision an ideal life. I see options and I see ways out to getting what I want, and this is the beginning.
So many people I know are not happy but instead of doing something, they remain stuck, give excuses and only complain. Is this a Singaporean mentality? If yes, very sadly, we're not going to achieve what we want. I visited Charmaine and Cyn last night, and the things Cyn shared hit me hard. Singaporeans are brought up in such a ruled and restricted environment, no one was taught how to use common sense, empathy, flexibility and doing something out of the way for others. I suspect it's not just a Singaporean thing, the later generation do lack the same things. I feel for her as she described the struggling experience with the medical staff here, I feel for myself and everyone else who feel the pain.
So... today is the day I shall set myself new goals and do something to achieve them.
I am feeling the blues. I am feeling that age is not just a number. I am wondering at 30, what kind of life I want to lead in near future... Suddenly, I am not very pleased with what I was contented with. Is this an age thing or I haven't truly found what I wanted.
My job is starting to bore me especially when I feel that I am short changed by my colleagues in the UK. Why am I always helping them and no one's helping to cover my tasks? Why am I always thrown all the shit work they do not want to handle, even if its just a very simple request and require not much effort? Why am I always finishing my tasks so soon and theirs stay in there for days, even weeks when it doesn't take hours to do. Why do I always need to write emails like I'm writing to dummies? If they do not hire people with common sense, then why hire them? I stood up for myself yesterday when they threw me two more tasks, and so they took it back. They obviously could handle it. Do they think we "Asians" are more diligent and can take more "shit" without voicing out? I am not swallowing that.
Suddenly being 30, I see myself asking myself what I really want to do. I want to be doing something I enjoy, not being promised whatever that can't be met. I envision an ideal life. I see options and I see ways out to getting what I want, and this is the beginning.
So many people I know are not happy but instead of doing something, they remain stuck, give excuses and only complain. Is this a Singaporean mentality? If yes, very sadly, we're not going to achieve what we want. I visited Charmaine and Cyn last night, and the things Cyn shared hit me hard. Singaporeans are brought up in such a ruled and restricted environment, no one was taught how to use common sense, empathy, flexibility and doing something out of the way for others. I suspect it's not just a Singaporean thing, the later generation do lack the same things. I feel for her as she described the struggling experience with the medical staff here, I feel for myself and everyone else who feel the pain.
So... today is the day I shall set myself new goals and do something to achieve them.
5.10.11
Red like ruby
How I love it! Glittery red is the way to go! I almost couldn't bear to take them off till they chipped quite badly... Very nice, I think I found my color ;)
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| China Glaze Ruby Pumps! |
4.10.11
I don't wanna say goodbye...
The night was cold and the day is freezing.
As I read one of my friends' blog, my heart sank. She was told to bring her daughter home to say goodbye, little Charmaine has been fighting neuroblastoma for approximately 3 years (corrected). All these time, she remained high spirited and chirpy, which probably kept the monster at bay. But the doctors have seemed to do whatever was possible, she had been to China and New York for clinical trials, her mum has fought to get drugs available here. It is sad to know this day still has to come.
I am sure she knows she has been a strong warrior, I am sure she feels the love her family and strangers has showered her, I am sure she has never given up hope on growing up...
If you happen to read this, say a little prayer for her. No matter how small, I hope the little girl has more time in this world.
As I read one of my friends' blog, my heart sank. She was told to bring her daughter home to say goodbye, little Charmaine has been fighting neuroblastoma for approximately 3 years (corrected). All these time, she remained high spirited and chirpy, which probably kept the monster at bay. But the doctors have seemed to do whatever was possible, she had been to China and New York for clinical trials, her mum has fought to get drugs available here. It is sad to know this day still has to come.
I am sure she knows she has been a strong warrior, I am sure she feels the love her family and strangers has showered her, I am sure she has never given up hope on growing up...
If you happen to read this, say a little prayer for her. No matter how small, I hope the little girl has more time in this world.
3.10.11
I want some Thai-some-ness
Lots of people have been visiting Chiang Mai lately... 2 friends and the parents of a friend. It seems like I'm always going with the crowd. When I last went to Taiwan, whole lots of people I met went too.
I'm going specifically to Yi Peng this year, to see the lanterns floating into the sky. That must be surreal! Whereas in Bangkok. they celebrate the same festival (Loy Krathong) by setting off lights on the river. I have not planned anything really except getting the accomodation and flight booked. It is time to look at how to get to the festival, what to do over the 6 days... One of my friends did the Thai cooking school, that might be an idea... but I'm more tempted to do a day at the Elephant Park where they guide you to take care of an elephant. People tell me it's smelly and dirty, and do not understand why I want to do that. I just want to experience it, to be close to animals, to nature... to know how simple life can be. Isn't that how life was in the beginning...!
I saw the pictures from my friends' trips, and I can be sure that the night market's going to keep me real busy. I should bring a book there, sit at a cafe, daydream or read. That'd be awesome :)
I'm going specifically to Yi Peng this year, to see the lanterns floating into the sky. That must be surreal! Whereas in Bangkok. they celebrate the same festival (Loy Krathong) by setting off lights on the river. I have not planned anything really except getting the accomodation and flight booked. It is time to look at how to get to the festival, what to do over the 6 days... One of my friends did the Thai cooking school, that might be an idea... but I'm more tempted to do a day at the Elephant Park where they guide you to take care of an elephant. People tell me it's smelly and dirty, and do not understand why I want to do that. I just want to experience it, to be close to animals, to nature... to know how simple life can be. Isn't that how life was in the beginning...!
I saw the pictures from my friends' trips, and I can be sure that the night market's going to keep me real busy. I should bring a book there, sit at a cafe, daydream or read. That'd be awesome :)
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| An ice cream cafe, iBerry, found by the friend who went! |
Turning 30 in 95 hours
How many times should you celebrate a birthday? Maybe for a major event like this one, I guess nothing is considered far too many?! One of my friends had a month long celebration, while some had it for a week! I am not holding a big party, in fact, all the celebration are small intimate dinners. I prefer the quality time and conversation than making a lot of noise, getting drunk and having to entertain everyone. I guess this is the type of celebration we are gearing towards as we age... gracefully ;)
I can't count how many dinners I have had, as they all seemed too good and it felt like I was already celebrating since September together with my friend's 30th. One thing I do know is I am not working on my birthday! I don't really take off day usually for birthday but somehow I got persuaded to and I decided,"Yeay, no stress, no work and no seeing someone I don't enjoy working much with!" My pocket has been burning with the ongoing dinners, an upcoming holiday, a little shopping and also soon baby showers and wedding dinner. Ah well, hopefully the hole gets mended after all these events, which is probably then Christmas time... it doesn't sound like it's going to be time for saving in the coming months.
The letter that notifies me to change my identity card has arrived. Boy, oh boy, that card with a 12 year old photo of me, it ought to be changed! A week ago, I rewarded myself a new hairstyle and hair color, not entirely pleased with it as it's a similar cut as before. Perhaps I should do a major revamp? If that day comes, it will be a major revamp to my entire life. Now that sounds exciting!
4 more days to officially hitting the 3-0. 3 more weeks to soaking in another different culture, eating new food, seeing new places and talking to strangers. And maybe I should pick up a new sports or class too! New experience keeps me sane... I'm borned with a gene that defy routine, if there's such a thing?
I can't count how many dinners I have had, as they all seemed too good and it felt like I was already celebrating since September together with my friend's 30th. One thing I do know is I am not working on my birthday! I don't really take off day usually for birthday but somehow I got persuaded to and I decided,"Yeay, no stress, no work and no seeing someone I don't enjoy working much with!" My pocket has been burning with the ongoing dinners, an upcoming holiday, a little shopping and also soon baby showers and wedding dinner. Ah well, hopefully the hole gets mended after all these events, which is probably then Christmas time... it doesn't sound like it's going to be time for saving in the coming months.
The letter that notifies me to change my identity card has arrived. Boy, oh boy, that card with a 12 year old photo of me, it ought to be changed! A week ago, I rewarded myself a new hairstyle and hair color, not entirely pleased with it as it's a similar cut as before. Perhaps I should do a major revamp? If that day comes, it will be a major revamp to my entire life. Now that sounds exciting!
4 more days to officially hitting the 3-0. 3 more weeks to soaking in another different culture, eating new food, seeing new places and talking to strangers. And maybe I should pick up a new sports or class too! New experience keeps me sane... I'm borned with a gene that defy routine, if there's such a thing?
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