Yelling for HELP!!

I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again. I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again.I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again. I don't want AIR-CONDITIONED, I want REAL COLD CLIMATE!!!! I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again.I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again.I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again.I feel like getting out of Singapore again. I want to get out of Singapore again. I wish I can get out of Singapore again. I need to get out of Singapore again. I have to get out of Singapore again. I must get out of Singapore again. I miss getting out of Singapore again. I love to get out of Singapore again.

Mini world cup fever @ Mc Donalds

I'm not a total lunatic crazy over the World Cup, however I'd be more than happy if I can catch as many matches within my schedule (with sufficient beauty sleep) and outside my working hours. Though it seems that later the week, one of the matches seem to clash with my work timing unless I make a sacrifice or a change to cater to it!

The last time Germany played against Sweden, I decided to pop down to Mc Donald's, I couldn't stand not having it on TV and hearing the whole world screaming without me. Especially someone opposite my block whom screamed "GOAL" everytime someone scored!

It was actually quite a good atmosphere at Mc Donald's. It was a young crowd with some uncles... and generally everyone is cooperative watching the game. No unnecesary talking or shouting... Everybody is so carried away with the game. The first night I went with my sister and we sat beside this "uncle", he isn't that old but should be years older than me. We spoke a bit about the upcoming Germany's match as we are supporting quite a few same teams for the World Cup - cool!

Germany played surprisingly well this World Cup, with their two polish borned players!

"Uncle" told us he hasn't missed a single match and only slept an hour per night - how crazy is that! Football drives you men insane... Anyway, he's a pretty funny guy and very entertaining. So I told him I'd see him the following day for the England's match. He actually "chopped" some seats for us, if you call that "reserved" in english!

England's match is actually quite a hot one, as we do have lots of England supporters in Singapore. So it was quite full-house in Mc Donald's. It was about 90mins ago when I was still there, the crowd today was quite a rowdy one, with a couple of teenage girls screaming over Beckham. "Oh my god, oh my god" - this annoying phrase repeated for umpteen times whenever the camera was on Beckham.

Rooney was a bit of a disappointment but everyone seem happy that at least Beckham scored with that free-kick. Nice one! "Uncle" also provided me with some insights about the match when someone was replaced or why Peter Crouch didn't get to play the second half... It does make a huge difference from watching alone and just cheering after a goal ;)))

At the same time, having watched two earlier England games among the English (with the English)... somehow I can imagine my friend A cursing at Rooney for missing quite a few chances, calling him names... and then jumping up in joy and screaming when England scored! It's funny but it's in my head...

Mc Donald's does seem like a good place to catch the next few matches :)))))))))))

It's saturday afternoon

I find myself thinking too much of someone I shouldn't even be thinking of... don't make a wild guess here, I doubt many people know whom I'm refering to. Someone who is not important to me, shouldn't be and wouldn't be. If so, why does part of my memory or thoughts still linger on about this person... with this person...

Saying about this, I had a dream a day ago which left a deep engraving in my mind. I dreamt of him* coming back to me and telling me how he has regrets about leaving. I didn't take him back though because I knew I wouldn't in my dream or in real life... Or maybe it is a hint or a supporting approval at the back of my head.

I'm starting to look in my palms and deciding if that is the right way I'm walking. What is that job that I would like to be doing for the rest of my life, unfortunately I will very much prefer not sitting in front of a computer for solid 9 hours and be expected to work like a slave on the supposedly non-working hours (like weekends). I have since promised myself no overtime for any job I do not see myself in for long-termed prospects.

*him doesn't refer to the person I am thinking of

Commando died on training

Did you read in the papers, it happened again... Sometimes I wonder how harsh these training are. Someone nearly drowned, and one did the last time. Both died. Have you had that feeling before??? Have you stepped near the gates of the other world, experienced the frightful feeling of dying, struggled vigorously for your life; perhaps you are lucky. I had though, just on that snorkelling trip where I had a little incident and found myself on the verge of drowning. I was desperate, scared... and I tried anything and used up all my energy to find a way to escape death. I am very lucky. I hope more people are luckier when such things happen...

I feel like retiring

I wrote this comment on my friend's blog in reply to her post:

"supposed to be a little envious or jealous... but im not leh.... arggggggggggggggggghhhhh... too busy sorting out my own life right now or am i done with the travels for a while. somehow sales dun excite me anymore, so does a weekend trip... i feel like having a lifelong holiday. staying in the nature, by the beach, dun have to worry about how much to earn per month!!"

Oh no, how can someone at 24 feel this way... feeling old, getting tired of working life, hating to be bothered about the next paycheck, wanting to have a simple and peaceful life and not surviving in a competitive world! Why am I borned in this century, in this part of the world...? Can I live in a little farm and rear sheeps... please!

I need a bang on the head

It's time to hit the reality again... it always sucks to work after a nice relaxing wonderful stress-free holiday!! Well probably except that when work is oh yeah so exciting that you can't wait to go back to it again. I do wish. That will maybe help motivate me or rather coax me into sitting 8-9hours in front of a computer (actually two), surrounded by walls, getting bugged by work emails about work, work, work!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.e.e............ I'm freaking out thinking about tomorrow!!

Such is life, why is life all about earning to survive... Why is not life like the contented smiles of the poor people in India or Thailand???

Work, where is the pleasure in it?

The first call I received at the airport whilst awaiting for baggage collection was from the HR (human resource department)... I got a job offer, yes, not a fantastic one to be honest. I do enjoy the working environment, which is one of the most important criteria about working... I'm not really happy with the salary, however I am getting a little allowance if I take up the afternoon shift (which is what I'm going to do), might be able to keep me happy and going for a bit. I can't say I can visualize myself staying for a good couple of years, but we will see how it goes... and damned it I'm starting on Monday, right after my super relaxing beach holiday. Such a wet blanket!

Krabi, krabi, crabi, crabi

Not that it is a "crappy" holiday at all!! In fact, it's a rather chilled out one...

On my flight back, I was struck by a sudden immense sadness, overwhelming me. I was missing my holiday already (I still am now!!), just minutes after I left the hotel. 4 days, very short, but everyday it was filled with good feelings (at least I could say for most of the time).

Although my companion is someone I could say I know for over 5 years, it's our first time traveling together. I guess we didn't learn that much about each other, but just learn how to "put together" for this holiday. It turned out rather pleasant I would say.


Day 1
I arrived at Krabi Airport alone, early in the morning!!! 730am!!! ... going to find my way to the resort. With no one else sharing a taxi, it was costly and a little unsafe to take it alone, so I did a cheaper and more time-consuming way. In turn, I took a taxi to the nearby Krabi town and took the local mini-bus that takes me to my resort by Klong Muang beach (beautiful and quiet). Yes, it does cost me double on the mini-bus (compared to what the locals are paying), but what can you expect being a tourist! No local bargain! During the journey, this little Thai-boy was obsessed with making conversation with me. I couldn't understand most of it because of his poor pronunciation. He was showing me his two little hamsters, very much enjoying my attention and even offered to be my photo model!

About noon, my companion, A, arrived. After his long journey from Phuket Airport and probably very jet-lagged, we laid in for a while before we took an exploration around our resort, had a tea-break pizza. Oh I need to mention the hotel service is really good (I cannot not give them a tip!), they even sent us a free fruit basket later on. We went into Ao Nang for the first time in the evening and did a little shopping and dinner. That was also when my identity started to be being mistaken for a Thai - I do get quite a lot of people attempting to talk to me in Thai! If I can put it off, probably I can get all the local bargains!! Shame though.


Day 2
Breakfast. We did a short trip to the nearby Railey beach which is supposedly famous for its rock-climbing activity. It was low season, wasn't so much going on... so just had a little tour about the small island and went back to Ao Nang for lunch. A went for some waxing *giggles* while I went off to have my manicure (you should know what color I painted now). The Nail Art place was really friendly, I had a little conversation with the people and they even repainted my nails when it smudged while I was pulling out my notes. Resumed with more shopping... lol, not that I really bought so many things but I needed to get some souvenirs. A swim followed by a classy dinner in the hotel, was a rather nice and slow evening... We did try to catch some World Cup matches, however there was the Royal Thai ceremony going on (on TV) for the King's 60th anniversary so we did miss quite a couple of matches. I'm not a crazy fan as long as I get to catch some, A is neither as long as he catches England playing on Thursday.


Day 3

A boat trip on the traditional longtail boat (not speedboat) to Koh Hong Island. It is such a beautiful beach, not allowed to keep the shells. However. me being a shell-lover couldn't resist the temptation - bad!! ... but actually I returned half of what I picked;) We had the morning to snorkel there... it was a virgin experience for me and a very memorable one, I almost drowned in that beautiful island. Ohh! But I thank God for looking out for me, not that I'm Christian, but yes I do believe I'm lucky to be safe. Actually we didn't have anyone to teach us the basics of snorkelling... so I just took some tips from A. The fishes were lovely, one poked me though. They just swam up to you in a big group when you got in the waters, I borrowed some bread and fed them:))))

There's a lovely jacuzzi in our hotel's pool, my favourite spot... So we had a bit of time there after lunch and the island trip. We set off for Ao Nang later in the evening for a couple of hours and did dinner which was a freaking WHOLE pizza to myself, I couldn't finish it up!! This time, I didn't buy a thing;)

Back in the hotel, we tried to catch some football at the lobby... I tried to catch Germany vs Poland @ 2am in the room but fell asleep with it, anyway the exciting moment was only the last couple of minutes before the match ended, isn't it!! We played some poker games, hahah, learned a new game - SHITHEAD!


Day 4
Time flies! Last day but didn't feel like one... We had breakfast and as usual a dip in my jacuzzi and swim before heading into Ao Nang. Did some final shopping, no lunch (luckily I had a big american breafkast)... and a couple of hours suntanning on the beach. We were getting sick of Ao Nang, as we had nothing more to buy and it got annoying with people bugging you to buy/bargain/take a taxi. We headed back to the hotel, I did some packing, had a shower, played SHITHEAD before we went out for dinner and stayed out in Ao Nang to catch England vs Trinidad & Tobago match.

We caught up with 3 Englishs from our hotel and watched the match together, they do drink fucking lots of beer... anyway, we ended up playing pool after the England's victory (2 0), watched a bit of the next Sweden vs Paraguay match and shared a mini bus back. That was like 4am... so I figured I could do without sleep since I'm leaving in 2 hours time from my hotel. Oh, and A is completely pissed, wasted!


Day 5
The hotel packed breakfast for me to take along - how sweet is that... though it was a big packet and l left some for A to lighten my load;)) It was such a good 4 days... I was exhausted... slept all the way back to Singapore!

A part of me that is forgotten...

... has surfaced again.

I was equally surprised by an email and its sender. That name once rang in my head has since been hidden somewhere, just like an old favorite T-shirt now put away in a little corner, weighed under piles and heaps of other clothes. I felt the swelling of tears in my eyes, such identical to the gloomy weather right now and that feeling that rain might come anytime soon. It was sunny when I left home, but I could sense the threat of the upcoming storm with the occasional thunder and the "come-and-go" hovering grey clouds.

As I clicked on that message, I didn't feel eager or afraid... perhaps curious. Not happy, no. I caught myself stuck reading the first two sentences, over and over again. For umpteen times. It's as if it is beyond my control. I have had a scan through the mail but like the usual me, I need to read it slowly to get it into me. I finished a few sentences but didn't feel that these should "get into" me. I need to just read it quick and then chuck it somewhere!

Before I could finish, the tears had been a little too heavy on those eye lids... although I think there's nothing embarrassing being emotional after all it does is something very dramatic!! I don't know what else to say after reading, not to mention feeling anything. It took me a while to get back to the 'hippy happy' me again... but some of the sentences are stuck in my head and seems to be playing over and over again when I've an extra second free.

I don't have any bad feeling (fortunately) nor the good ones, I'm glad the hardest is over and all should be a history. A memory??? Perhaps...

My dream tells me...

Museum
To see a museum in your dream, indicates that your non-traditional path to success will make you unique and stand out from the rest. Alternatively, the museum may represent a history of yourself and your past. There are many things you can learn from your past and your family's past. Consider what you have gained from these experiences and apply them to your current circumstances.

To dream that you are in a museum, gives you the opportunity for you to review and reflect on the things you value in life.

Chocolate
To see chocolate in your dream, signifies self-reward. It also denotes that you may be indulging in too many excesses and need to practice some restraint.

Relatives
To see your relatives in your dream, signifies family issues or feelings. They represent some aspect of your own self.

Disgrace
To dream that you are worried about the disgraceful conducts of others, symbolizes your unsatisfying hopes and pestering worries that continue to hover over your head.


All are quoted from www.dreammoods.com

Chocolate museum

Are you wondering what this entry is all about with a title like "Chocolate Museum"?? No, no, no I haven't visited one though I did saw one in Barcelona (I think). Anyway, I just had a very vivid dream, can't remember the details but the ending has imprinted itself in my head. I remember sleeping slightly past 1 and waking up almost 8, this dream has tailed me to the end of my sleep. It was cast with some people I know and set in this museum setting where real chocolate has been used and been coated with a layer of wax to be exhibited in this museum. There I saw these people (some I know, some I don't) grabbing these fabricated displays and eating them up!!! I wasn't the least interested in eating those "chocolates" no matter how nice they look, and was very upset they are destroying the property. It was then I woke up... disappointed by the greed and inconsideration of these people.

Is it trying to tell me something??

Yesterday was a special day

But today (Monday) it is not. Yes, it is a kind of anniversary, bit meaningless now though but my damned phone calendar has reminded me again.

(Anyway this post was supposed to be on Monday but I was too engrossed with work and forgotten I have started an entry!!! So back I come.)

Monday morning, I was listening to the live (UK) radio and it came on a song about England winning the World Cup. It's kind of nice, really, pleasant to listen. I find it amusing but very likeable. Then there was a Monkey song too. I was down with the unusual Monday blues but had a lot of happy songs to keep my spirits high!

And finally, I'm all set to embark on my second beach holiday. To the lovely beaches in Thailand, even though it might be a reminder of my first trip there, I'm going to entirely brainwash myself for that 4 days and be "someone else". Who is that "someone else"?? Just another side of me I guess... I have been reading a psychological test book and realised I might be wearing 4 different masks for different social situations - family, friends, partner, at work.

In fact, it might be true, but there is one "real" me, deep inside me...

Just as I finished that sentence, there was an "earthquake" accompanied by the sound of thunder - how scary. I wonder did anyone around singapore feel it too (yes, its Tuesday now)! In SPH, we just felt it. Was there an explosion or a neighbouring earthquake... *shrugs*

you, paparazzi

I was reading on MSN Entertainment - Celeb Hook-ups & Break-ups. I don't think I'd be able to understand that feeling, and it must be a terrible and unbearable one. Having your own relationship (especially breaking up) all over the papers, and the usual rumor of who the third party is or whom the other party is hooking up with almost immediately after you. Ouch! But it is true that all these news which are obviously hurtful to the victims itself, we are all finding it a pleasure to read. Or well, most of us do sympathize with them, don't you? Being a human is hard, being a celebrity is even harder!

This and that, this or that??

Work seems to be coming along well... sigh... why am I sighing then???

My dream of doing a travel related career or being a personal assistant did not seem to come true, instead I'm thrown back to what I was doing. :((( It isn't that its no good, but I wanted a new change. However the pleasant work environment is keeping me more positive about being here (yes, in the office now), and I do have a couple of 'friends' here. So it kind of works out well when you've some company (at least)!

I received a call to do relief teaching at a secondary school - teaching students Arts. With my kind of personality, I never think I'll be a teacher, but somehow I'm drawn towards this opportunity - to do that for 3 months. So which one am I going to take? Can I take either or both or give up both of them?? Bit silly to give up any of them unless I get a better offer somewhere else... sigh.

Don't sigh!!!