How to define my happiness!

I am very disappointed to say I took a while to realize... I mean the kind of happiness when you are together with someone, be it a lover, a boyfriend, a friend, a sister, mum or dad.

And it doesn't come alone. If you're happy, and people around you aren't, then that is not happiness. If it happens vice versa, then it is not either. (Oh, as I am writing, the rain has started to pour heavily - the heaviest I ever seen since I'm here.) Happiness has to be shared, and only in that way, we benefit - or well I benefit from it. I can't say I can define it, but I realize time and distance shouldn't compromise happiness. You can't say you have a good relationship with someone because you're in it for 5 years, 10 years or you can't have a good relationship because you're living 1000 miles away. I was thinking like that though - oh you must have such a perfect life with your partner because you stayed in it for 10 years!! But I realized again this is not it. Happiness somehow can't be deduced from external factors, sometimes not even by that smile on the face. But when we are really happy with someone, in something, we glow - we radiate a kind of glow, thats what I personally think. Some people said being too honest is not good, better not knowing the things that had happened and would bound to upset you - "correct or not" --> so singlish! But it can be quite impossible to me, I need to know; I guess I am just naturally more curious and inquisitive than most people. In a way, I suspect I can make a very good investigator! And sad to say, this can be affecting my happiness. Why would you want to know these?? But I rather not know them later when it has to come to the light eventually?? Do you not agree? I think to be truly happy, it has to come naturally deep within you, when you're contented, 'it' will find you more easily...

I think I've been mumbling too much, have I? If you have your own perspective of happiness, please share...

Short, sweet and Superb

Woohooo... yes yes yes, we watched free coldplay concert in London, everything was perfect except the weather and the nightmare of getting home...

Hypnosis

Work. Work. Work. I must work. Casual work. Full time work. Part time work. Seasonal work. Contract work. Temporary work. I need to work. Work work. I have to work. Summer job. Work work work.I will find work. I will be working. I need a nice summer job. I have to work. Work. Work. Work. I need work. I must work. I want a job. I will work. Work is coming. I must find work. I will find work. I want a nice summer job. I have work. I have found work. Work is looking for me. I am looking for a nice summer job.

Like a sour lemon sweet

Besides the transport I am complaining about... the weather being far too hot on some days... everything being so expensive...

This experience is like having a sour lemon sweet. Everything is so sour at the initial moment, it makes you wanting to pull your own hair, shutting your eyes and squeezing those tears at the corner of the eyes. That thrill of sourness however will only be this long - short-termed.

Once that is over, the sweet part lingers and it really feels wonderful. I am thinking I am really taking it easy now, a little more optimistic than I have expected myself to be.

Jobs are coming in really slow, I am beginning to lose a bit of hope every sunny day that passed by. I need a job, a summer job, a lousy job, a job that pays enough to let me survive till autumn... I have to say I am trying very hard, already!

Someone needs to pray for me...

Oyster sucks

I hate the london transport, I seriously hate it. It's horrible. Expensive, delays and not organized. Oyster is a very clever invention and I wish I can ask that person who invented it to "eat shit", yes, it's that stupid. I had this incident today where I used my oyster pre-pay (just like ez-link in Singapore), I alighted at the station, switched another train home... Upon alighting, there is no machine at the exit for me to tap my oyster card - IT IS NOT I AM AVOIDING TO TAP IT, THEY JUST FUCKING DON'T HAVE ONE AT THIS STATION!! So what now?? I returned home then I read that I have to pay a penalty if I did not tap out! Oh yah right, now it is not my fault, and I literally had to make a trip back to tap that damned card! What did I get? Yeah, a penalty plus waste of time, walking out there to take that damned train back to the next station and tapped it, paid 1/3 more than I should, and then go back home! London transport seriously... shitty!

I can't believe it, I don't like caramel!

UNCANNY CASHEW! You scored 66% SWEET, 81% CHUNKY, and 74% UNIQUE!

sweet cream base with caramel-coated cashew pieces & swirls of caramel What a nutty person you are...with an ice cream flavor to match! But there's more to you than just being crazy and 'out there'...you have a good heart and you can be creative when the mood strikes. You could stand to calm down a bit, but overall, you're a good person to have around.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender!

Link: The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor Test written by weered1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

How I wish for an air-conditioned room "^ ! ^

So hot... Angela is like my weather reporter, she told me it will be 32 degrees today!

Finally, things are turning for the better...

Tax refund for the previous tax year is here, so I'm rich enough to pay my upcoming rent, but... need more to survive :(

The postman has arrived with my long awaiting mobile number!

Yeaaaaa!! We found a room somewhere around the corner. In fact, it's the same area we are putting up for now, but it's nearer to the tube station. £300 per month and in fact it sounds reasonable enough, bundled with cool smoking housemates plus a domestic male cat as the freebie. Actually, the night before we were to get a confirmation about this room, I had a dream. In it, we got the room, each of us has our own double bed and one additional bed for our visiting guests! How great!! Mmmmm... for your information, we will only move next month.

On Saturday, we wore skirts out for shopping in the city, ooooooooo the weather is finally permitting us to wear lesser and lesser! I realized I did not bring much fanciful clothes and bag for the summer - so there, I spent £20. But hey, Angela is the shopaholic, I have no means of stopping her at all. So as long as I can spend within my limit, I feel lucky to buy! I think she might need to hire me as her financial controller ;)

Next for me, a cool summer job and some traveling will do... *crossed my finger*

Itching for elsewhere

I'm in London already for a week - still in mid of finding a room, a job, getting hold of a new mobile number! Nothing is accomplished yet, except one thing, I already planned for holidays! That's right, you didn't hear me wrong. I booked my upcoming holiday to Germany in late September. I am already feeling that the time will be flying by, and trying to imagine how I can find such a short termed work to slot nicely in between. This is tough! Everything else is moving too slow, my new mobile will take a week due to the fact that I had ordered it online. Room search is in progress, job search is delayed by my mobile number. So there, I'm stuck for now!

I'm getting a bit sick of London already

Are you asking,"What, so fast?"

"Yes, indeed, already."

Nothing has changed for the better, with the only exception of the weather. Spring, or should I already named it summer?? Long daylight, this is wonderful. The new london transport fare is not making my mood better, the rise in the normal bus fare of 70p last year to £1.20 this year is already a dreadful nightmare! Thanks to Oyster, I'm saving at least 40p.

I yearn for Germany now, probably just because I have had a so much better time there, it is already making my stay seem 10 times longer than I have actually been here. I am losing my patience, I am somewhat hoping October arrives in a split second and I am back home again. Not that I really want to be back in Singapore, but just to get out of here!

"Horrible", are you thinking???

A consolation is now I have a friend here, Angela, so that makes a lot of things in pair and much easier. It will be an experience for us to live together, fortunately we had been on holidays together, so we know of each other's quirks! It will be easier as time goes by, but now I'm just as impatient as I am unsettled.

I believe that bad luck I encountered at home has been washed away by the rain pouring in the spring, I'm feeling hopeful. What I need now is just to rebuild my patience, get my motivation from somewhere and love my freedom. This will do!

tomorrow ^ö^

The D-day is here again... it always seem to come so fast! It will be the 3rd time I am back in London, wonder how is it going to feel like! Does it already feel like a second home?? I prefer Germany for the nature! But then London, here I come... *panic attack*