Little twink

I must amaze all of you like I've amazed myself...

When I've a tummy upset, I got Yu Yee Oil. When my spectacles are loose, I got screwdriver to tighten. When it rains, I got the umbrella. When I need to write, I've my online blog or my little notebook. When my parents miss me, I got a calling card. When my skin gets flaky, I got my moisturiser. When the ground is cold, I got cover for the feet. Ahh, Singaporean's kiasu-ness... hahah. But come to think of this, I do thank myself for being well-prepared :) Not just me, but also my thoughtful friends with all the little presents.

It's amazing I survived 2 weeks already, and I almost can't believe it. Also can't believe the fact I spent so much on food, and the fact that my bowels work so hard here! Arghh..

Long lunch

My pizza are always burnt!

I'm very impatient when it comes to many things. But I do not understand why I can be so patient when I let the pizza gets heated up in the oven. It's the second time it get burnt, the poor cheese aren't chewy anymore. Dry and flaky! :(

Yeh, my fingers smell of potatoes...

The lemon and lime concentrate is making my stomach upset. I don't know why but I love them when I was in Singapore and now it doesn't suit me anymore.

Rabbit, come here

Besides being lovesick, calling home a few times, being online a lot, made a new french friend, spending lot of money on food... and doing lot of brisk walking, of course!

I walked the Nottinghill Carnival alone today. Its said to be one of the biggest attracting million of visitors in the past. But it was pretty alright, it was drizzling on and off. The crowds were loud and the performers were great. Its not lonely, I find it rather fascinating and easier to lose myself in the crowd than to lose my friend's arm. It was a long parade (like Chingay in Singapore, sad I never even been to Chingay myself). I followed down the road and it was like ants on the other end of the street. Music was loud, there were beer and hot dogs, little kids on parents' shoulder, and lot of curious people (like me). I took some pictures and a lot more video because it says so much on a video clip. The only thing I hate was getting home, the tube stations were closed and buses were diverted. So I ended up spending over an hour to get home.

It is time to get busy, I must find a room that feels like home ASAP!

Strangely delighted

My new phone was singing. The first ever SMS I have got, yet I don't know who's the sender. Maybe I do, but then the number he gave me doesn't seem to be the same as the sender's number!! +49, mmm must be from Germany.

I convinced myself to step into job agencies, each and every I could find. A few are missed because there wasn't anyone at the desk. So I only went to two. I was told to email my CV since I bloody hell (pardon me) obviously know I need them, but I didn't have a hard copy. Whatever! One was testing my typing skills - yes I need some job, anything goes. I was surprised as I never knew my speed. It is 50 words per minute. I guess all the chatting helps!

Little James doesn't seem to recognise me today.. just because I wore slightly differently??! He's so cute, I heard him asking his maid, Helen, "Is that Trixy?? Is she your friend?? Is that Trixy??" Oh, I'm melted.

Oh by the way, the photographs for the farewell party is out. Any interest, click on the link at the right :)

WTF

I just realised yesterday it costs me S$1.50 (not the 50 cents I thought) to send just a SMS (text message) from London back home to Singapore!!! I have already spent S$15 on my card just doing stupid messaging. God, its so expensive. It was free back home!!!

I sent a MMS (to test my new phone) back home, it didn't work!! And it costs me £1.50!! Times 3, and you know how much it costs. Damned... I'm just down on luck yesterday!!

Ring me for free

It's 8pm here... but it doesn't feel like 8pm, doesn't look like 8pm, doesn't seem like 8pm...

I felt I've finally done something good for myself. A good start. I bought myself a mobile line, and... a phone of course. Bloody hell, I shouldn't waste that money right? I reckon it is a good investment and it better be, I'll have to earn them back.

I "forced" myself to go to the malls today. 15-20 mins away. I'm so lazy, but I need the exercise in this cool city, nothing much else I can do except brisk walking! Ealing Broadway (where I shop at the moment) has everything. Its like Tampines in Singapore. I went to every mobile shop I can find and yes I found the phone I wanted!!

Sharp GX15. Ok, they don't have this in Singapore! Its the cheapest I can find with widest range of features. £119.99, do the calculation if you want. It's near S$400 (of cos lesser). Anyhow, I've done a lot for this bloody phone, so it better be good. I took a 20 mins £1 bus ride to and fro a remote shop somewhere in the north to get the phone. Its only where they still have the stock!

Now I can take pictures, do MMS, effects on the photos, and yes finally color screen. Some friends were like "WHAT, your phone doesn't have color?!?" Okay, ya, the old one is still the older version, but hey it works fine.. still lasts me for 2 years now and counting. Definitely, its worth the keep.

p/s: Sorry, the title means "its only free for me.." heh

Chill now...

I didn't have brothers, but I didn't know little English boys can be so loud when they play games. My little male cousins were very much softer, maybe its a cultural thing. The boys were playing Xbox in my room (big enough to have everything), 2 of them I reckon are some neighbor's or friends' kids. Four of them screaming and shouting. Sometimes its cute but most of the time, its a torture for the ears. But look at how they enjoy themselves...

I'm hearing this song on the radio so often that it has became my favourite song now... It goes like, "da da da DA DA da da da.." Sorry I can't figure out those lyrics.. but I'll try to find out what song name that is. :p

Maybe I shouldn't care anymore

I'm upset...

I've too much time to get upset now! Sometimes I don't know why I make things happen this way... I introduced my best friend to my guy before I left on the trip. Now I'm freaking out. I'm jealous they see each other maybe more than I used to see him. I'm worried she wants to bring him home for dinner. I'm depressed when she suggested to do a holiday trip with him. I think I have enough to worry for myself right now, and it is worse to have these extra things to weigh myself down. I am thinking whether it is right I wanted to do long-distance, if it is sensible to introduce him to my best friend, maybe I am that stupid. Maybe I should have been a selfish bitch!

Call me paranoid.

Do you think you'll feel the same way when your partner is going to hang out with your best mate for over 2 mths (ok, alone)... ???

I'm having a heartache now... :( I don't want to share!!

My true color

Color Checking Test

You are Brown Tiger, who get in touch with others with calm attitude.
You are both pure and friendly, and have the atmosphere of motherly tenderness.
Your character seem flexible and gentle, but you are actually someone who has their own opinion, and do not like to lose.
You are not scared of things.
You can steadily lead life to accomplish your goal.
You have the big sister sort of character.
People around you may push you to become their leader, but your sense of organizing people and action is not that strong.
You are confident, and can put to action with perseverance and guts.
You are dedicated to many things.
You can carry out things calmly and steadily at your own pace.
You don't worry about things so much, and possess the talent to combine many factors together to create a new thing.
You are well balanced person.
Nevertheless, you possess feminine atmosphere and are dependent person.
You lack self-support, and therefore you will be good at working in the back-ground.
Men are attracted to your mysterious atmosphere, but you tend to be very careful, and not fall in love too easily.
You are weak on favors, and can not turn them down.
Once married, you will stay at home and be obsessed with children's education.

Little boys

I'm staying with my ex-boss at the moment, and he has 3 lovely boys. The last time I was here, I didn't speak much to them because I had a friend for outdoor outings daily. Having been here for almost a week soon, I find them so irresistable. So adorable. I was reminded so much of my own childhood with my sisters.

George, the oldest, seems to be quite a school athlete. He is pretty sensible, and he watchs Olympic at the young age. At 23, I can't be bothered to catch up with the games :( Felix, I guess the middle child is always the rebellious one. He makes good shortbread! And its very pleasant to hear him calling my name whenever he speaks to me. So polite. He's a mini-me of my boss, cute cute cute! Little James has grown up so much within the 15 months. I'm told he's pretty bossy. He was very friendly to me when I first came, but maybe now he's tired of seeing me everyday. Lol.

I think I'll probably miss seeing little boys around when I get my room soon!

Funny... and crude

I was looking at the papers yesterday and laughed at how british write their lines...

There was this ad for the BT phone line:
"Call your mum. Heck, call anyone's mum. At 5.2p/min..." It's so cute and I don't think Singapore would have such an advertisement. Singtel, do something abt it! Ha ha. But can we use "heck"??

Another critic on the movie, The Village:
The headline wrote "Cheated by a village of idiots" Ohhh, did you see "idiots"!!! They can be so mean, but then its true. I also think the show wasn't up to my expectation. Rating is only 2 stars on the papers.

Fucked london, fucked saturday

It is such a bad day today that I wish I am back home! That loneliness having no one to speak to, about anything and everything under the sun... Tell me, its part of adapting, tell me... :(

I'm so far away from everyone, so far away from my goals. I need some magic pills! Some inspiration! Some motivation! Some encouragement! Actually I need more than "some".

God... rain for me tonight :(

Laugh at me, heh.

Ya know...

I'd very often go to Friendster and checked out my own profile. I'd read the location: United Kingdom - Awwww cool. I still can't believe I've been here 3 days and I'm surviving the homesick, lovesick, friendship and whatever else.

I had a stroll around all the supermarkets I could find, including Marks & Spencer. And damn it, I really want to cook now! But not till I get my own room in new flatshare. I still feel awkward borrowing someone else's kitchen. I'm a guest afterall. I need that sense of belonging ;)

Angela, if you read this... the smoked salmon + cheese.. doesn't specify the cheese except saying its SOFT CHEESE!!!

London, my oh my

I'm probably jet-lagged.

I'm not excited. I'm lovesick. I'm homesick. I'm friendsick. Perhaps its all part of adapting... I'm trying to foresee that I'll take about a week to get to like the life here. Weather is cool, just the rain is unpredictable. It comes for an hour then stop, and then it repeats a couple of times every few hours. On arrival, I already made three friends whom came to pick me up. It was somehow welcoming and it made me feel right to be here.

I can't find my friend though, he's beyond my reach. I'm wondering what happened to him - he doesn't pick up calls. I couldn't care less... I'm exhausted.

First night, I turned in early to recover from the flight. Following day, I was online most of the time, trying to find work and get in touch with people back home. I wrote a lengthy mail about my flight - not going to post it here, it will bore you!

Not sure what I like to do tomorrow, maybe get a travelcard and get my ass to town!! And also probably try to cook something over the next couple of days myself! Heh.

I'm telling myself... time flies, enjoy before it disappears.

"Last day" in Singapore

Choi choi... I don't mean the last day as in the last in the universe!!

It might be the last day I'm spending in Singapore this year!! And before my flight. I don't think I'm able to get any sleep, one reason being I can't sleep (i'm still packing). Actually last minute packing is a great idea, because it will keep the mind off emotional issues. I was weeping (secretly) when my mum was mentioning how much my lil sister will miss me. Yes, she's my best friend at home and I'm hers too. She loves to tell me about her daily encounters in school and I can't imagine for a moment how quiet my life is going to be without her. My family definitely care too much for me, I can sense the sadness yet I feel so lost how I should reassure them.

Today, I see how many people do care for me... I can't say I'm not touched by all the messages and gestures. My friends, they are the loveliest people in my life. My family, they are the most important people in my life. My rabbit, you are the nicest thing I come across and may that be as long as it can be. I miss all of you... Fab 4, the hamper is really so thoughtful (muacks for that)! BS, don't worry so much about me, everyone has to grow up one day and I'm doing that. Volleyball mates, thank you for being so spontaneous all the time... Barney, I appreciate that email (even I haven't got the time to get back). Everyone else, thank god that you exists!

I was taking the train home, it struck on me I might not have the chance to take the MRT so soon again. I was carefully observing every passenger, and crying from all the text messages that got me over-emotional, I wasn't disturbed if anyone noticed. I just want to be myself. I took the walk back home, at the same time wondering what it is like to walk home in london!!

I'm still not done with my packing yet! One luggage. One backpack. I need one more!! Gosh, this is hard work... For once, I feel those eggs hatching in my stomach. The butterflies will be out tomorrow.

And my dad keeps waking up every few hours, I feel bad making them losing their sleep. My dad even took an off day tomorrow to send me off. Everyone might be there! I need to write him a letter... one in chinese, to make him feel better :) Or so I hope.

Time to fly in 8.5 hours...

Hardbitten

I was immediately in tears after my dad spoke to me. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him longer. It's that kind of feeling which you want to assure him that you're grown up now and wanting him to see that, yet you know he couldn't stop worrying about this process. I know I can never make him worry lesser, but I hope someday (soon) he'll realize his children need to grow up independently. Yes, at least for me.

After so many tearful sessions, I can't help but doubt how strong I can be. Everyone around me told me the bravery of embarking on this trip alone. I'm frightened too, like everyone else. 10 days before the departure, my eyes went red whenever I was reminded of the D-day. I miss everything!

My farewell on Friday night has been a success, even many did not manage to turn up the number still comes up to about 20. Many unexpected gifts and presence which I really appreciate, THANK YOU for those who have made the time & effort!! Also my other Fabulous 4's members for always supporting whatever I do.

On the train back home today, as I was flipping through the London guidebook (I got as a present) I for once began to feel the excitement growing inside me. I've gained the confidence for continuing long-distance relationship, kinship and friendship. So it has left me a couple of months to fully explore myself, surviving in london, and traveling.

Maybe yes I'm ready...

i love you

How often do you use this and really know you mean it?

I don't know if lovers in a relationship constantly reassure each other of their commitment or feelings towards each other. In the past, I always think "actions mean more than words". But when you get both, there is nothing more you'd like to complain about. I never wanted to use "i love you" unless I'm very sure I know I mean it... Most of the time, I replaced them with "i like you", simple yet sincere. And yes, it meant what it said.

My few relationships in the past are so short that I'm often doubtful about whether I was in love. Or are they even called a relationship! Not an one-sided feeling, now I refer to that mutual feeling. I guess I only feel that now... I'm still very careful when it comes to saying "i love you"!

To some people, it could just be something sweet to say or something you know she/he wanted to hear. For me, I do not expect to hear it unless it comes with a great significance. Packaged with love. Packaged with devotion. And the same goes when it finally is coming out of my own mouth.

Mein hase, ich liebe dich!

MIA - pui pui from Phuket

"Fat Fat" from Phuket

It has been many many days since I last gave my blog any colorful entry... it must have been boring for you guys!

Things have been happening... yes, so much, but too much to get them on here. Syndy is BACK!! Yes, our beloved friend from her second home, Toronto. It was a big surprise and a pleasant one, I know she's back so she can be here to send me off. Another sad news for me, because I wouldn't bear to leave more people behind. She has got a few loving slaps from me for that unexpected surprise!! It's 5th August now. In less than 2 weeks, I fly...

13 days. Every one of them so much more precious than any other time I ever had in my life! My 4 nights at Phuket went by too fast, it brought August nearer - so much faster than it would have been just with my daily boring routine. Phuket has lived up to its name of a wonderful beach (not clean but exciting enough). The currents certainly are amazingly stronger than what we have in little island, Singapore. The moment I touched down into the water from the short para-sailing adventure, I wondered if I'd be swept away...

I have to say I hate shopping in Phuket. The people are crazy, the prices for tourists are even worse. There is a good variety of food, and I've to say food are definitely more worth the money. Sea sports are not cheap, the whole beach is becoming too commercial. You even have to pay to sit on those benches. To be honest, there is not much to do there except numerous hours of expensive shopping (you can't help worrying you get cheated another time). It is a must to venture out to the islands around Phuket. We had a cruise to 4 islands, sea canoe under rocks, swimming in the clear-blue water, stepped onto the shores laid of shells (not sand!)...

I wouldn't want to go there for another beach holiday, I guess there's more beautiful and less commercial places around. But the bikinis in Thailand are a great buy!!!! wink wink

Plus, they do fascinating flower-carved soaps...